GF found old video of me and ex while snooping (friend, feeling)

[Ro2113]

Originally Posted by valeeighty2

Exactly!! Do not ask questions you do not want answers to... by the same token, Do not go snooping around, if you do not want to find some nasty surprise...

Any ways, wish he would come back and update us

Well it was almost two years ago. The OP could have already taken this issue to Dr. Phil or Maury by that time and you just missed it.

[valeeighty2]

Originally Posted by Ro2113

Well it was almost two years ago. The OP could have already taken this issue to Dr. Phil or Maury by that time and you just missed it.

LOL!! you are right...

[Joseph Marnix]

It's a good opportunity to invite her to create a better produced video, no?

[Kim46741974]

This relationship is not salvageable so move on, and in the future do be careful about leaving things like this around. Just like many men would not be cool with seeing a video of their gf having sex with another dude she will not get past this (even though she probably wants to), and her insecurity over not measuring up to a 7 year relationship is why she calls her a skank. It's really nothing personal to your ex. And if you've badmouthed your ex, like telling your gf that she cheated and you broke up and bad terms, she has a negative opinion of her thanks to you. And based on that story it's clear that you'd still be with ex had she not cheated, and everyone wants to feel they're better then the last one. This may not be logical but is often the case. You haven't technically done anything wrong except that you were really careless with this. Good luck with the next one.

[JanND]

Originally Posted by Urban Sasquatch

Quick and simple:


While I can understand her initial sense of shock and hurt, I present the following:


- If she stormed out and never took your calls and also never contacted you, it would mean she's done.


- If she stormed out and didn't take your calls for a few days, DIDN'T text anything either, and finally relented because she wanted to talk, it would mean she's hurt but wants to figure things out.

- Since she's stormed out, won't take your calls BUT texts you with messages about how hurt she is, WITHOUT suggesting anything regarding talking the matter over, IT MEANS SHE WANTS YOU TO GROVEL.


Sorry for the bad timing and bad luck but if this is how she's handling this and she's NOT letting you explain, I'd close the door and move on. 4 wonderful months may be, but if this is your future (and believe me, if she's acting this way now she'll be carrying this card around to use for a long time) it's NOT worth it. You'll be setting yourself up as the fall-guy for whatever item she wants to nit-pick and argue about in the future and she'll be able to pull this one out as a trump (in her eyes) for quite some time to come, over and over.


Again, sorry about the bad luck (if it's entirely true) but I advise walking and not looking back. If she confronts you over your lack of response (likely with accusations of "obviously not REALLY caring or you'd be trying") I'd tell her "Remember those phone calls you wouldn't accept or return? That was me trying. Remember how you kept texting me about how hurt you were but you never mentioned working this out? That was you playing games. I may have screwed up but I refuse to be anyone's doormat."

BEST ADVICE!!! Let her go....actually run...She was posing during the 4 mths...This is actually who she is, immature, this is how she will be, and rewarding that BS by groveling and apologizing will be the nail in your coffin, and reinforce this type behavior. I would not call, text, respond to anything from her at all.

[allseeing eye]

the problem is she i s nosey! that opens the door to more problems

[RiderGirl]

THE THREAD IS TWO YEARS OLD, people. Jeez.

[Doll Eyes]

she's probably better off anyways.

[Chi-turtle]

Originally Posted by Urban Sasquatch

Quick and simple:


While I can understand her initial sense of shock and hurt, I present the following:


- If she stormed out and never took your calls and also never contacted you, it would mean she's done.


- If she stormed out and didn't take your calls for a few days, DIDN'T text anything either, and finally relented because she wanted to talk, it would mean she's hurt but wants to figure things out.

- Since she's stormed out, won't take your calls BUT texts you with messages about how hurt she is, WITHOUT suggesting anything regarding talking the matter over, IT MEANS SHE WANTS YOU TO GROVEL.


Sorry for the bad timing and bad luck but if this is how she's handling this and she's NOT letting you explain, I'd close the door and move on. 4 wonderful months may be, but if this is your future (and believe me, if she's acting this way now she'll be carrying this card around to use for a long time) it's NOT worth it. You'll be setting yourself up as the fall-guy for whatever item she wants to nit-pick and argue about in the future and she'll be able to pull this one out as a trump (in her eyes) for quite some time to come, over and over.


Again, sorry about the bad luck (if it's entirely true) but I advise walking and not looking back. If she confronts you over your lack of response (likely with accusations of "obviously not REALLY caring or you'd be trying") I'd tell her "Remember those phone calls you wouldn't accept or return? That was me trying. Remember how you kept texting me about how hurt you were but you never mentioned working this out? That was you playing games. I may have screwed up but I refuse to be anyone's doormat."

Couldn't agree more. If you're looking for long term or marragie with someone, keep in mind that 4 months is around the time you start to REALLY get to know someone. All relationships will have ups and downs, and if this is how she acts when the chips are down then you don't really want to go into business with someone like that.

You're human, you make mistakes, you didn't do anything intentionally to hurt her but it happened. If she can't forgive you and she just wants to see you squirm then you have to ask yourself if this is the kind of woman you really want to be with.

[allseeing eye]

take the hard line