Women who flat out DO NOT want children (dating, wife, movies) - Dating, marriage, boyfriends, girlfriends, men, women, friends, attraction ... - City-Data Forum

*VaNiLlaGoRrilLa* · 05-26-2010, 06:52 PM

No inbetweeners please!

Please refrain from "if it happens it happens, if it doesn't, it doesn't" or "I didn't want them, but then my little miracle came along" stories! hehe

Just the women who don't want kids. Tell me what life is like for you, how old are you? Do you get a lot of grief for your decision? Is there pressure from your family and friends? How do you deal with it?

Thanks

the minx · 05-26-2010, 06:58 PM

I never wanted kids until I met my current SO. My mom made snide remarks like "I guess this is the only grandbaby (my niece) I'll ever have so I better spoil her." Then she'd look at me. I just ignore her. No one else really ever bothered me about it.

*VaNiLlaGoRrilLa* · 05-26-2010, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spinx

I never wanted kids until I met my current SO. My mom made snide remarks like "I guess this is the only grandbaby (my niece) I'll ever have so I better spoil her." Then she'd look at me. I just ignore her. No one else really ever bothered me about it.

It's always the moms isn't it!

So you do want them now?

steelstress · 05-26-2010, 07:50 PM

51 here. Never wanted them. I didn't get a lot of pressure, the occasional "when you meet the right guy you'll change your mind." Um, the right guy won't want to have kids, and won't already have any.

Life is quiet. Just how I like it. It's simple, no complications other than the occasional car mishap. That's as complicated as I want it.

jersgrl1969 · 05-26-2010, 08:01 PM

I never wanted any kids...I was gonna stay single and free forever, with 2 cats and a dog for company.

Then I got married (twice) and had kids (4)!

Of course I love my kids to death, but if I had a chance to go back and do it all over again, I'd be lying if I didn't say I would most likely stick to my original plan. I miss my single, kid-free life...yes, I said it!

OTOH, it may be the fact I am 41 and have 3 kids under 6, when I am at the age when most people have their first grandchild.

Huckleberry3911948 · 05-26-2010, 08:02 PM

along with the ones that hate credit cards they are my favorite.

juniperbleu · 05-26-2010, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jersgrl1969

OTOH, it may be the fact I am 41 and have 3 kids under 6, when I am at the age when most people have their first grandchild.

Most people have their first grandchild at 41??? My cousin just had her first baby at 42, my aunt had her twins at 41, and while my other cousin's wife is younger (35), he's 40 and has a 2-month-old son.

jersgrl1969 · 05-26-2010, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by juniperbleu

Most people have their first grandchild at 41??? My cousin just had her first baby at 42, my aunt had her twins at 41, and while my other cousin's wife is younger (35), he's 40 and has a 2-month-old son.

Yes, a lot of my old high school pals are celebrating the births of their first grandchildren. Their kids are in their late teens-early 20's.
My oldest son is almost 17, so technically, yes-I am old enough to be a grandmother.
(When he was born, my mother was my age-41, and he was her first grandchild.)
Having your first child in your early 40's is late in the game, IMO. Most people have their first child in their 20's.

Yzette · 05-26-2010, 08:25 PM

Never wanted them. I think I said this in this subforum somewhere, but along with the ridiculous disproportion in household chores, the other reason I divorced my wasband is because of the kid thing. I told him from the get-go, when we met, that I didn't want kids, and reiterated my stance on the matter throughout our relationship. There was no way he could have misunderstood, "NO BABIES," and he went so far as to spit out the line, "I'm marrying you for you, not your uterus."

Yet there he was, two years into the marriage, dropping hints and trying to change my mind.

Best part is that the ink wasn't dry on the divorce for a year when he knocked up a person he was dating for only two months. They're married now, blah, blah, blah, and more power to them.

And now? Well, moot point. I'm 43, the matter has been taken care of quite thoroughly, and that's that. If my guy (who is 33) decides one day that he wants kids and a family, he'll have to go elsewhere. So far, however, six birds between us is plenty of ruckus for him. Also, whenever we go to a multigenerational function, without fail, less than two hours into it, he's grousing about a headache and shaking his head, "Nooooo."

Niftybergin · 05-26-2010, 08:29 PM

I'm 39. No kids for me, and I'm happy with that decision. I like living my life on MY terms, MY schedule. Wanna work late? No prob. Go to the movies in the middle of the week? Okay. Catch that e-Saver to NYC? Go for it. Leave your wet towels on the bathroom floor and ignore the laundry for a week? Why not.

Kids are great -- bless 'em! -- but they do tend to dominate one's life. I have no doubt they bring a lot of joy and satisfaction and lots of other good stuff to one's life, and that's part of their charm. It's not that I don't like kids. I do. But I just don't think they're necessary for feeling fulfilled as an adult, or specifically as a woman.

I don't get any grief from anyone -- friends, parents, etc. -- about my childless state. My friends don't have kids, either, and my brother seems to be taking care of the grandbabies. Me, I'll stick with dogs. They're cheaper, cleaner, funny, loyal, educable, and loving, and they don't require their own bedroom and tend not to talk back too much. (Unless you go for Siberian Huskies like I do. They talk back a lot, but that's part of their charm.)