Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Consider yourself fortunate that you don't have kids. They're a drain on your money, you'll have more pressure to buy them this and that, and generally more pressure to pursue the all-American, picket-fence, keep-up-with-the-Joneses lifestyle - not to mention have a few more headaches to worry about. You'll likely daydream wistfully about having peace-and-quiet on demand. Don't even ask about the risk of divorce and such, especially the effect it'll have on children. Besides, you can take all the money you otherwise would have spent on your kids and either spend it on yourself, max out your retirement, or give it to charities for already-existing children truly in need of help. Also, if you're religious, you won't have to worry about them going to Hell or whatever your belief system (if any) has as an equivalent.
Its too late for me to know how much money I would have if I didn't spend it on Kids, but I have plenty of 50-ish male friends who don't have kids. I would bet they spend at least as much on ; Booze, eating out, motorcycles, guitars, fair weather sports cars that stay garaged, boats, Fishing and hunting gear, not to mention the inherent cost of dating for 25 years,... as I spend on kids.
For instance I'm going to the Kiddie Pool for the holidays, my single brother has to go the Beach
Last edited by thriftylefty; 05-29-2010 at 12:24 PM..
I am 60, never married, no kids. I give thanks every day that I did not marry nor have any children. Life is so much simpler as an unencumbered single person.
That said, these are personal decisions, and everyone should choose their own lifestyle.
If a man wants children, there are plenty of women who share that desire.
I'd adjust for 28+...there are a number of single moms out there looking for Mr. Decent, who would be willing to have #2 if it were a LTR. I'm about your age and have been asked out by multiple women under 30. You shouldnt have a problem...granted be in reasonable shape and have some interests.
You seem too confused about the matter to just go out and do it. A lot of guys in their 40s go through this as a mid life thing. Then it passes. If you do this there's no turning back. Regret? What about all the people who regret having kids and can't do a thing about it. If you regret not having them you can still be around kids as a volunteer. If you want a real relationship just be open to the woman you fall in love with naturally. If you demand they be able and willing to have kids, you will have a great chance of missing out on finding the best person for you.
When my son was around five, I was walking him into the YMCA for his swimming lessons. Out of nowhere came; "Dad, when are you going to start fossilizing?"
I'm 40, I knew when I was real young, like pre-teen, that I didn't want to have kids.
I still to this day am glad I made that decision. I have no regrets, I get the occasional thought about it, and then it passes quickly.
I don't minds kids at all, I have no hatred for children, some posters here on this forum are down right nasty about children. I don't understand the hostility. Yes, sometimes, if their parents don't raise them properly, kids can be a little annoying, but again, it's the parents I blame.
The reasons I didn't want kids are long and involved and are best saved for another thread.
So here I am a man at 44 never married, no children. I was in a long term relationship for way too long with a woman who couldn't physically or emotionally have children. At the time I started dating her I had no thoughts of children. By age 32 I started having feelings about wanting a family yet stuck with her a few more years. So a late bloomer on even thoughts of children to begin with. I eventually had to end it for many reasons.
At age 39 I met another woman that did want to have kids and we had the same values on raising kids, religion, same sense of humor and similar love of movies, music etc. That went on and off for 5 years until it ended 6 months ago. I won't bore you with the details but it had nothing to do with me. She needed to be active in the bdsm community to the extreme and by all accounts cheated on me doing it when we were a couple after telling me continuously over the years this was part of her past. It had to be a lifestyle for her not just a few fun and games in the bedroom and no way I could give her that. So that was a really hard breakup.
I guess I am really torn about this. At 44 I can still have kids but it has always been hard to meet people and I am feeling really old right now and regretting past decisions. I have decided to try online dating. Eharmony and just joined okcupid to see what happens.
I do get views from women in their 40's and part of me thinks to myself, are kids so important when I could meet someone that I can hopefully have a good relationship with? I am really torn right now. Should I change my profile to be open to women my age and forget about kids? Should I still spend time trying to contact women 33-40 who could still have kids?
I can do both but I will always have the "what if" if I never have children. I had thought about the Big Brother program as a way to mentor boys and at least experience doing something positive/for kids. But worried about that nowadays. I have never really been around kids too. My sister and uncle the only ones with young kids in my family moved far away so I never grew up with them and my friends had kids long after we stopped being friends.
So I do think some sort of programs where I could be involved with kids would bring some satisfaction to me but I am really at a loss of how to find them plus my total lack of experience with children is pretty daunting.
Any advice? Hopefully more positive than "give it up dude".
Get into a church group for singles. There are plenty of women in their 30's who want a family and are afraid they won't meet someone who also wants one later in life.
If you eventually don't have children but decide to to volunteer to work with kids, be careful, because a single man around children = pedophile, psicho abuser. I learned this by myself. Stay alert.
I'm sorry your lament is rather self serving and ridiculous. If you were a 44 year old woman that would be different story, but as a men, as long as you have no health problems you can produce viable sperm well into your 60's.
Instead of lamenting a long lost youth, you can still have children--its up to you to find someone that is compatible with your family goals and lifestyle.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
