Grown accustomed to DINK lifestyle, now finding it hard to imagine having kids (single, pregnancy)

[43north87west]

Not everyone is cut out to be a parent. I am a prime example. Although I've been told I would make a great dad (and I'm sure I would), I simply don't have the desire. I never have, and I doubt that I ever will. I have several nieces and nephews I can borrow.

[babigyrl5]

Originally Posted by sophialee

Originally Posted by chacho_keva

That was exactly my reaction too when I read that.

Originally Posted by Chowhound

I agree, that should be something kept on the down low.

Originally Posted by Djuna

Parents shouldn't be paying for either of these things. This is the problem nowadays, kids have become leeches.

Originally Posted by Chowhound

I agree, when I was 27 I was in charge of projects at work that were in the million dollar range.

Daddy wasn't paying my phone bills.

I agree with everyone lol. I've always offered to take over my cell phone bill but my dad said it's too much trouble than its worth because we are on a family plan and if I drop out, the rates go up for them. Plus I won't be "diamond status" with Sprint anymore since my dad is the policy holder and I am under his contract (we have been with Sprint since they became a phone company and we get alot of perks and freebies). So he said in two years when the contract is up I can either keep Sprint on my own or go with another company sooo....not really leeching since he insists on paying and he wont accept money from me....and Im not about to fight someone to add one extra bill to my pockets LOL. As far as the one time insurance payment, I just closed on my first house last month (yay!!) and he offered to pay my insurance this month so I could have a little breathing room in my budget. Much appreciative, but not something I begged for or even asked for. This isnt even about me being daddys little girl because I have an older sister and a younger brother LOL. My parents have always just given us "extra" even though we all are successful in our careers and financially stable. I am definitly not complaining though! lol

[Boxerlady]

Originally Posted by 43north87west

Not everyone is cut out to be a parent. I am a prime example. Although I've been told I would make a great dad (and I'm sure I would), I simply don't have the desire. I never have, and I doubt that I ever will. I have several nieces and nephews I can borrow.

That is how I feel! I love kids but don't think I am "mom" material 24/7. I have relatives with children and kids love me but part of that is I am the "fun" one. I love taking the kids to park, playing, going swimming.

[steelstress]

Nope, no kids for me. They would interfere with MY 2 hr after work nap. Ok, so the nap is only an hour and a half most times.

[TurtleCreek80]

Originally Posted by Bass101

Wow--reading about all that you do made me tired just reading that! I did get a physical/full bloodwork (including thyroid) in February and everything was normal. I don't know why I have this lack of energy except that I've always been this way, though lately I've felt it more than usual. I think I eat pretty well--never eat fast food, am vegetarian and eat a pretty healthy diet overall. I don't drink or smoke or consume any caffeine. I get about 8 hours of sleep a night or more. After an 8 hour day I take a 2-hour nap, pick up some take-out, and lay on the couch watching a movie. I don't have the energy for housework or anything else. How do you have all this energy?

I agree with Chessiemom, I think you are not as healthy as you think. You live a very lethargic lifestyle and I noticed you mentioned eating healthfully, but didn't mention any excercise.

I am very close to your age and work 50-60 stressful hours a week at the office and a few more at home and I rarely take a nap during the week- maybe 2-4 times a year and usually when I'm about to get sick. A healthy and in-shape adult does not need a 2 hour nap every day after work.

You need to get at least 30 minutes of vigorous (sweaty) cardio everyday.

Make an appt with your doctor and a personal trainer. Explain to your doctor how much you are sleeping. Most adults I know don't get anywhere near 8 hours a night, either. It's not normal to spend 40% of the day sleeping and you need to have your dr get to the bottom of this- possible chemical imbalance, chronic fatigue syndrome, etc. Then, meet with a personal trainer to devise a fitness plan you can stick to.

[Bass101]

Originally Posted by TurtleCreek80

I agree with Chessiemom, I think you are not as healthy as you think. You live a very lethargic lifestyle and I noticed you mentioned eating healthfully, but didn't mention any excercise.

Very true. I guess though I am hesitant to go back to my Dr. after my physical/bloodwork in Feb. Besides testing for vitamin B12 what else can they tell me?

Yes, I need to exercise. Maybe after awhile it won't feel so exhausting. I have no motivation though to exercise and don't know how I'm going to get that motivation. I could never exercise after a day at work. I would have no energy to do so. Maybe on the weekends would be ok.

Is it so unusual to feel tired after getting 8 hours of sleep a day? Work tires me out, and it always has. I just feel wiped out after a day of work. A nap re-energizes me for the evening.

[wanneroo]

Originally Posted by TurtleCreek80

I agree with Chessiemom, I think you are not as healthy as you think. You live a very lethargic lifestyle and I noticed you mentioned eating healthfully, but didn't mention any excercise.

I am very close to your age and work 50-60 stressful hours a week at the office and a few more at home and I rarely take a nap during the week- maybe 2-4 times a year and usually when I'm about to get sick. A healthy and in-shape adult does not need a 2 hour nap every day after work.

You need to get at least 30 minutes of vigorous (sweaty) cardio everyday.

Make an appt with your doctor and a personal trainer. Explain to your doctor how much you are sleeping. Most adults I know don't get anywhere near 8 hours a night, either. It's not normal to spend 40% of the day sleeping and you need to have your dr get to the bottom of this- possible chemical imbalance, chronic fatigue syndrome, etc. Then, meet with a personal trainer to devise a fitness plan you can stick to.

A 2 hour nap is a bit much, but nothing wrong with naps and part of it I think is our American culture that requires us to look busy at all times.

For me I found them to be very effective, especially when I used to work 80-100 hours a week. Now my work situation is much changed and when I am away working at lunch or at other break times I try to close my eyes and zone out for 10-15 minutes. And I find when home, my days are more productive if I take an afternoon nap for 20 minutes.

As many of us know many countries have a siesta culture, which if it's a couple of hours in length that is a bit much, but there is something to take from it.

I think too many people in this country are terrified of actually stopping for a moment and rather believe they have to exist in this state of perpetual motion all day for appearances.

[TurtleCreek80]

Originally Posted by Bass101

Very true. I guess though I am hesitant to go back to my Dr. after my physical/bloodwork in Feb. Besides testing for vitamin B12 what else can they tell me?

Yes, I need to exercise. Maybe after awhile it won't feel so exhausting. I have no motivation though to exercise and don't know how I'm going to get that motivation. I could never exercise after a day at work. I would have no energy to do so. Maybe on the weekends would be ok.

Is it so unusual to feel tired after getting 8 hours of sleep a day? Work tires me out, and it always has. I just feel wiped out after a day of work. A nap re-energizes me for the evening.

Please re-read your final sentences. You think you NEED a two hour nap to "re-energize" yourself for the evening....where you will eat take-out and lay on the sofa watching tv/movies. You need a nap to help you stay awake to EAT DINNER and WATCH TV. This is NOT normal OR healthy for a 30-something.

I'm not being harsh just trying to get you to see you need to take care of yourself.

There is no reason why a healthy 30-something shouldn't be able to walk 2 miles (about 30 minutes, at a brisk, but not vigorous, pace) after a day at the office. Excercise should be in your daily routine if you want to live to see your 50th, 60th, etc birthdays and celebrate your golden weddig anniversary. Or esle, your bones will become brittle & not have muscular support they need. You will likely have osteoporosis, arthritis, back pain, etc at an early age. Even if you are thin/ normal weight, you are not healthy without excercise.

Working an office job should not wear you out every single day. Everyone has a day or two when they're just spent by 6pm, but it should not be a daily occurance.

Doctors can only be as helpful as you let them. Go back and talkto your dr about your sleep and excercise habits. If he/she did not know this in Feb, then maybe all the possibilities weren't explored at that time. If the dr says you're fine, please get a second opinion just to be safe.

I hope this is a major wake-up call for you & you get a dr's help.

[Bass101]

Originally Posted by wanneroo

I think too many people in this country are terrified of actually stopping for a moment and rather believe they have to exist in this state of perpetual motion all day for appearances.

I completely agree with you. I have no qualms about the fact that I don't like to be busy! This is probably a very different mindset than most women my age (early 30's). I like my schedule wide-open and I love my leisure time. I don't have a Blackberry. I don't have every minute of my day scheduled--far from it. I love to spend an hour or two on the couch doing absolutely nothing but thinking and pondering. I also love to take a two hour nap nearly every day. I guess this is all part of what I consider the DINK lifestyle. I am afraid that if we have a child then I will be on the go all the time--no leisure time--and I'm worried that I will completely burn out on that because I'm not built to be the kind of person who is on the go from the moment they wake up to when they go to sleep.

[wanneroo]

Originally Posted by Bass101

Very true. I guess though I am hesitant to go back to my Dr. after my physical/bloodwork in Feb. Besides testing for vitamin B12 what else can they tell me?

Yes, I need to exercise. Maybe after awhile it won't feel so exhausting. I have no motivation though to exercise and don't know how I'm going to get that motivation. I could never exercise after a day at work. I would have no energy to do so. Maybe on the weekends would be ok.

Is it so unusual to feel tired after getting 8 hours of sleep a day? Work tires me out, and it always has. I just feel wiped out after a day of work. A nap re-energizes me for the evening.

Depends what your work is?

Some people are flying a desk or digging a ditch. With me what I do requires total concentration and it puts the body under a lot of strain, so after a 50 hour work program in 4 days, I am spent.

In my 20's I started to slip out of shape and doing the traditional workouts I had no motivation for. So I went back to the things I used to do in early high school that I enjoyed and then quit for whatever reason. Bike riding and swimming. Two great exercise activities that I enjoy. In recent times I also added cross country skiing and kayaking, which I do when in season.

Therefore I would find an activity that expends calories and gets yourself moving, but also something you would enjoy doing.