If You Can't Handle Me At My Worst, You Don't Deserve Me At My Best (marriage, relations)

[laorbust61]

Originally Posted by boodhabunny

I watched my mom put up with a lot of abuse under the philosophy of taking "the good with the bad".

Expressions like that shouldn't be used to excuse inexcusable behavior. Blech!

Exactly. People with that attitude are mostly about what you can do for THEM. There's no serious plan of their wanting to do much for YOU. And I'm not sure about this "You have to take the bad with the good" business. What if "the good" to your partner means he remembers your birthday with a card, but "the bad" means you might come home one day and find him in bed with your best friend"? It doesn't sound so wise, from that vantage point.

[the minx]

You take quotes way too seriously.

[wanneroo]

Handling people at their worst, dealing with the bad, why wont men deal with drama etc.

Why bother? Who would want to deal with that?

To me such a focus on the negative is just making excuses for crappy behavior.

[Redisca]

I detest it when people talk in slogans and quotes. Unless there is context, I really don't know what this phrase means. What's being at one's worst? Is it being at one's most depressed, or one's angriest or one's most irrational? What does "handling" involve? An SO is one person I really wouldn't want to have to "handle". What's one's "best"? What's the frequency of one's worst vs. the frequency of one's best? Etc., etc., etc.

[sun queen]

Originally Posted by swmrbird

I prefer to look at it as 'You get the good with the bad'. You said it yourself, there will be good and bad times in any relationship.

I feel like it's more a sentiment that you can't just show up for the good times and abandon when the bad come around.

I totally agree. Who wants someone around only for the good times? I want know u r going to be there when times r not good because that is when I will need u most. When I am with u, I am really with u and that is just the reality. Fair-weather friends r easy to come by- they r always there for the benefits, but a true friend will stand with u when the bottom falls out of ur world. I actually think the quote is profoundly true.

[Huckleberry3911948]

non live in girl friends make for low BS and short lived doormat games.
dishing it out supersize usually comes after she moves in.
cheap sex is not cheap.
if you dump her for doormating, you do her a favor,
trust me she has done it b4.

[Urban Sasquatch]

I think it can be taken in two ways.


I think an intelligent woman who says this means it's a package deal, the real for better or worse scenario.


I think a stupid woman who says this (and sweet Lord, there are so many out there who say this with a neck-roll) is expressing a sense of entitlement, proclaiming her freedom to behave badly because if you can't take whatever she selfishly chooses to dole, then you don't deserve the remote chance that she'll do something genuinely nice someday.


And I think no one, man or woman, believes themself stupid, which makes it a real crapshoot.

[Norm24x7]

I agree with US ..very well said m8 .. though IMO such people should bear the label '' Fragile - Handle with care '' @ all times lol .. guess i got a name for my cafe .. The HeartRock Cafe !

Lol for some reason this sounds more like a slogan for a newly launched Liquor Label lol

[stan4]

That quote sounds like more of a threat to me.

[robee70]

Sounds like something an abuser would say.

First prove to me that you can deal with any and all the crap I dish out, then and only then you will be worthy of my love and the good in me.

It's completely backward and flawed. First should come your best and your love. In consideration of that, I will take your worst moments and put them in perspective. If your worst overshadows your best, I don't want your "love".