Who should plan it? (how to, women, restaurant, surprise)

[boodhabunny]

When a man asks me what I want to do on a date, I believe in being honest and straight-forward. I am not into game playing. That's why I always tell them the truth. I'd like to have dinner at the most expensive place in town and enjoy an evening at the opera afterwards.

They suddenly become much better at planning dates after that.

[TempesT68]

That's why (no offense) he's picking up girls online. The guy ALWAYS needs to plan dates out, it's just common knowledge.

[JustJulia]

Originally Posted by Avienne

The more effort a man puts into a first date, the better the impression he's going to make.

I've had men 30, 40 miles away from me research where I live and come up with ideas.

And drive to me.

Bearing gifts.

That's not conceit. It's my good luck to have dated some conscientious and attentive gentlemen. I said I liked black cherry jello, and one fellow showed up with a tray of it. Another had to go on a business trip to Europe between the time we started talking and our first meeting, and it being the dead of winter, he brought back a scarf that he thought would go with my coloring. Another knew my political leanings and gave me a few campaign buttons.

Of course, then there were the ones at the opposite end of the spectrum. After my divorce I learned very quickly that any man who expects a woman to drive to him for a first date, especially if it's to meet him for the first time, is a man who is thinking only of himself and his own convenience.

Dating is its own art form, and chivalry still goes a long way.

I agree with most of what you're saying, but I do think that a woman should drive herself on the first date, especially if she's never met the man before. That way, if she has to leave, she is able to. If the date goes badly, she can simply go home, rather than endure the awkward drive with him.

[Coolhand68]

It's one thing if you don't know someone all that well and ask what sort of likes and dislikes they have in order to get an idea, but I think if you're going to ask someone out you should have a plan. It sounds to me like dating this guy will turn into a whole lot of "So, what do you want to do?" -- "I don't, what do you want to do?"...to infinity and beyond.

[Yzette]

Originally Posted by JustJulia

I agree with most of what you're saying, but I do think that a woman should drive herself on the first date, especially if she's never met the man before. That way, if she has to leave, she is able to. If the date goes badly, she can simply go home, rather than endure the awkward drive with him.

True, that.

I haven't dated anyone that I had to drive to, though. Last time I was on the dating scene, I lived in an urban area and just met at neutral places I could get to by subway. Bonus there is that it's easy to disappear into the crowd, and no creepy stalker types can get your license plates and find out where you live.

[Ep-]

ya if a girl is not in my area i look up places to go

google aint hard to use

[TKramar]

Here's an example. Years ago, I was in Orlando, and was warned to stay away from Orange Blossom Trail. If not for that warning, I would not have known to stay away from that part of town, because I'm not from there.

So, if someone lived in Orlando, and I just happened to mention some place to go to on OBT, how am I supposed to know it's a bad area? I don't live there. Other people can probably think of bad areas in their towns too--how is a date who isn't local to the area supposed to know where those are?

[Tzaphkiel]

Originally Posted by TempesT68

The guy ALWAYS needs to plan dates out, it's just common knowledge.

i hope you're joking or just trying to get a reaction,
because if you really believe that......yikes

i am a woman and if a guy believes he plans all the dates, what that says to me is he runs everything, he makes all the decisions, he runs the show, and there is no respect or regard for me.....double yikes. not only archaic but insulting and disrespectful

[TKramar]

I've said it before, if I ask where someone would like to go, and they say "I don't care." then she better not get upset if I pick McDonald's--or Hooters.

If you are going to get upset, then you better show some backbone and decision making capability!

[mountainman51]

It seems to me that the OP's date did something very gentlemanly. It was a first date and he allowed her to choose the activities. Therefor she could choose a place she would feel comfortable meeting someone for the first time. A place that allowed for her safety. Pretty good idea on his part really.