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From the OP's post we would have no possible way of knowing his or his wife's ethnicity. This is a message board. All we know is what we read here. If you know the OPs intimate details, bully for you, but do not criticize the rest of us for giving him the best advice based upon the INFORMATION THAT IS PROVIDED in his post.
20yrsinBranson
The information was provided by the OP, post 7 in this thread.
Thank you all for your well thought out advice. I don't have anyone to discuss this with who will give me an unbiased opinion.
Anyway, to update: things have gone from bad worse. We fought last night over this issue and she accused me of hating her mother and being ungrateful for all the things she's done for us. I have made up my mind though...I'm looking for an efficiency apartment, which I can afford on my own salary. She is opposed to efficiency type accomodation though due to the landlord having easy access, but i'd rather live in my own hole in the wall than my MILs apartment.
She has not stepped up her job search either and is being too picky. I was afraid this would happen when she quit. To those who asked: she quit because her new boss was messing with her, but it wasn't quite enough to be harassment. She always hated her job and would always complain about it non-stop, even after the recession started. In truth, I got sick of being a venting post and thought her quitting might help her find sonething else more quickly as she'd be more compelled to.
DON'T DO IT! My fiance and I moved in with his parents because of rough times. They are early retirees. They love having us here, but I suspect that is because we clean the house and cook meals every night while they watch tv nonstop, leaving us feeling taken advantage of. But what can we say? It's their house.
In short, when you live in someone elses house you end up feeling trapped in a situation you cannot change and you just sort of heave to be nice, grin, and bear it.
Here is my 2 cents worth.
It is always better to adjust your life if possible to the idea of living on one salary. In case of illness, layoffs ect. Why should she have to be chained to a job? Sounds like she stepped in it and now is trying to save face.
I say move in with mom, regroup but have an action plan in place ahead of time with a time line.
Give the marriage all the life preservers you can.
It is worth that at least.
BTW I am going on year 28 and have had to face loss of jobs, ect. I am glad we kept going.
If you've expressed to her that you are not willing to move to her mother's and that you would rather downsize your living - then that's what you need to do. You are the one working, you take care of yourself. Find a small apt and move, she will either follow or not. Give her the choice - you can't make her do anything, you can only do what's right for you.
On one hand I agree, but on the other hand I think what someone else had said is spot on: Take control of her job hunting. I had to do this with my ex at one point when things were getting dire.
Me: You need to find a job.
Her: I'm looking.
Me: You've been looking for 5 months. I don't think you get how serious the situation is.
Her: blah blah blah.
Me:You know McDonald's and Taco Bell are hiring. I'll swing by tomorrow after work and get some applications. Those will hold you over until you can find something better.
BTW I am going on year 28 and have had to face loss of jobs, ect. I am glad we kept going.
This is so sweet. I would love to be able to say that. I am at 10 years, seriously don't know if we'll make it to 11. But to be at 28, and to be happy about it - you are truly blessed!
I'm a cop. And not one of those that worked cushy positions all my career. I work the street, and get into all the fights and crap the guys do, and go to the same shootings and disturbances. Speaking of putting my neck on the line, as God is my witness, i was stabbed in the neck with a screwdriver by some nutjob with a mental illness. It was a call for a Breaking and Entering. Nurse at the hospital said i was lucky it wasnt over a bit more and a tad deeper, and i would have been screwed. No pun intended.
So, as a woman, thanks for your gratitude. Means the world to me.
Im also sure the female nurses and doctors at the hospital that attended to me thank you also.
Seeing as all they do is push papers all day.
Finally, a woman who I can respect! As a matter of fact, I fully admit you got more heart then me lady.
mine did too she had to. it interfered with her shopping time.
last thing i said to her was-- choose -me or visa, that was a few weeks b4 i got the visit from the paralegal who shoved that divorce summons up my nose.
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