Anybody else (dating, boyfriends, marriage, woman)

[KylieEve]

I started dating my husband when I was 21 and he was 22. We dated for 5 years and then got married. We have been married for 9 years in August. I am happily married for the most part. The problem is I am a very shy person and always have been so my husband was the first boyfriend I ever had. I have never gone out with anyone else before.

I just thought I would always be single. We met when I had to bring in my car to get repaired and he was there as well. He saw me and knew he had to meet me. He says he thought I was beautiful and really wanted to go out with me. He didn`t approach me at the auto repair shop. he asked around at the repair shop, found out who i was called me and asked me out. I was so flattered that he thought I was beautiful and did so much to find out who I was. When I met him I didn`t think he was my type but I grew to love him.
I feel now that I might have jumped into the marriage to soon. I have such low self-esteem that I thought he was the only guy who would ever want me so I stayed with him and we got married. I do love him very much but I feel I missed out on dating other people. I would never cheat on him ever. I just feel guilty that I am having these feelings.

Just wondering if anybody else feels that they have settled.

[2RUGGED4YOU]

Originally Posted by lisalan

I started dating my husband when I was 21 and he was 22. We dated for 5 years and then got married. We have been married for 9 years in August. I am happily married for the most part. The problem is I am a very shy person and always have been so my husband was the first boyfriend I ever had. I have never gone out with anyone else before.

I just thought I would always be single. We met when I had to bring in my car to get repaired and he was there as well. He saw me and knew he had to meet me. He says he thought I was beautiful and really wanted to go out with me. He didn`t approach me at the auto repair shop. he asked around at the repair shop, found out who i was called me and asked me out. I was so flattered that he thought I was beautiful and did so much to find out who I was. When I met him I didn`t think he was my type but I grew to love him.
I feel now that I might have jumped into the marriage to soon. I have such low self-esteem that I thought he was the only guy who would ever want me so I stayed with him and we got married. I do love him very much but I feel I missed out on dating other people. I would never cheat on him ever. I just feel guilty that I am having these feelings.

Just wondering if anybody else feels that they have settled.

Why do you think I am still single and have never been married?

[thatsong64]

This might be really mean, but I believe this will end in divorce or cheating.

I have seen this happen SO many times because I went to HS in a small town (wasn't originally from there, I moved there halfway through freshman year) There were tons of couples that had been together since 8th grade, then they go to college or sit around and feel like they missed out. Then there's some combination of breaking up and cheating, or they just "take a break" so they can do it with other people then get back together, ignoring the deep cracks they just made in thier relationship. Usually it's the girl who starts to have these feelings, surprisingly enough.

I got married young and didn't have many boyfriends before him. But I don't feel this way...

You aren't wrong for feeling this way, I just don't know if there's a cure for feeling like your marriage makes/made you miss out of life/being with other people.

[Whyte Byrd]

I really had to give this some thought. I'd definitely consider talking with your husband about this, possibly with a mediator involved, because he may need someone who knows about these things to explain a few things about these feelings so he doesn't react hastily. They do happen, obviously. It doesn't necessarily mean the end. Sometimes when you're able to talk to the right people--such as in a therapy type session--you're able to gain enough perspective to find out that when confronted with the possibility of gaining your freedom, you don't want that afterall. But I suspect you may need to do your own thing on some level because you might have--and I hate this terminology but have no other way to say it--lost yourself before you ever really matured. It happens to a lot of married couples. Seek some wise counsel, the sooner the better. Best of luck to you.

[Raena77]

Originally Posted by lisalan

I started dating my husband when I was 21 and he was 22. We dated for 5 years and then got married. We have been married for 9 years in August. I am happily married for the most part. The problem is I am a very shy person and always have been so my husband was the first boyfriend I ever had. I have never gone out with anyone else before.

I just thought I would always be single. We met when I had to bring in my car to get repaired and he was there as well. He saw me and knew he had to meet me. He says he thought I was beautiful and really wanted to go out with me. He didn`t approach me at the auto repair shop. he asked around at the repair shop, found out who i was called me and asked me out. I was so flattered that he thought I was beautiful and did so much to find out who I was. When I met him I didn`t think he was my type but I grew to love him.
I feel now that I might have jumped into the marriage to soon. I have such low self-esteem that I thought he was the only guy who would ever want me so I stayed with him and we got married. I do love him very much but I feel I missed out on dating other people. I would never cheat on him ever. I just feel guilty that I am having these feelings.

Just wondering if anybody else feels that they have settled.

From a woman's perspective it can suck. If you are looking for someone to marry, it is very hard to find him.

[2RUGGED4YOU]

Originally Posted by thatsong64

This might be really mean, but I believe this will end in divorce or cheating.

I have seen this happen SO many times because I went to HS in a small town (wasn't originally from there, I moved there halfway through freshman year) There were tons of couples that had been together since 8th grade, then they go to college or sit around and feel like they missed out. Then there's some combination of breaking up and cheating, or they just "take a break" so they can do it with other people then get back together, ignoring the deep cracks they just made in thier relationship. Usually it's the girl who starts to have these feelings, surprisingly enough.

I got married young and didn't have many boyfriends before him. But I don't feel this way...

You aren't wrong for feeling this way, I just don't know if there's a cure for feeling like your marriage makes/made you miss out of life/being with other people.

IMO, I don't see this ending well either!

[genx]

I once broke up with a boyfriend because he said that he was just "settling" with me. I definitely don't want to be with someone who isn't crazy about me.

So I married someone who was crazy about me and things were good for a while, but feelings change over the years and now I'm not so crazy about him. The marriage is good for me because he'll do anything for me. Treats me like a queen.

Anyway, you got married very young, but that doesn't mean that it couldn't work out. Over the years you may feel serious doubts about the marriage and its up to you if you want to weather the storm and stay with the person. If you're going to be in a relationship better to be with someone who is crazy about you rather than the other way around.

[rso092]

Originally Posted by thatsong64

This might be really mean, but I believe this will end in divorce or cheating.

I have seen this happen SO many times because I went to HS in a small town (wasn't originally from there, I moved there halfway through freshman year) There were tons of couples that had been together since 8th grade, then they go to college or sit around and feel like they missed out. Then there's some combination of breaking up and cheating, or they just "take a break" so they can do it with other people then get back together, ignoring the deep cracks they just made in thier relationship. Usually it's the girl who starts to have these feelings, surprisingly enough.

I got married young and didn't have many boyfriends before him. But I don't feel this way...

You aren't wrong for feeling this way, I just don't know if there's a cure for feeling like your marriage makes/made you miss out of life/being with other people.

+1

That's what happened with my marriage. I was 19, she was 18. We ended up staying married for almost 6 years.

As it happened, she was out whoring it up at the beginning of the marriage and I didn't find out until well after the fact. I (very foolishly) agreed to "work things out" to keep the marriage, but her idea of working things out was just not blaming her or calling her out on being a s|ut.

To the OP: if you cheat, realize you will not only hurt your husband and cause a loss in trust that honestly can never be fixed, but you will likely cause long term mental issues due to the serious breach of trust. I know, because I'm going through that right now

[*VaNiLlaGoRrilLa*]

I completely understand where you're coming from, sweety. I am there right now - been with him for 9 years, since I was 21. No marriage though (I just flat out told him it's not for me). I too believe no one will ever love me again...

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by *VaNiLlaGoRrilLa*

I completely understand where you're coming from, sweety. I am there right now - been with him for 9 years, since I was 21. No marriage though (I just flat out told him it's not for me). I too believe no one will ever love me again...

I wish I understood why some of you ladies sell yourselves so short