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Old 06-08-2010, 10:42 AM
 
Location: SF Bay Area (formerly DC and Boston)
1,808 posts, read 2,952,770 times
Reputation: 1335

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Quote:
Originally Posted by *VaNiLlaGoRrilLa* View Post
A few months ago one of my best (male) friends told me he hit a girl in the stomach because she refused to leave his house.
that's f-cked up

no need to hit a girl, you just call her the c word
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Old 06-08-2010, 10:57 AM
 
1,860 posts, read 3,604,551 times
Reputation: 1392
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
1. I don't think the negative reps exist anymore.
*grin*

Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
2. Are you saying that it's understandable for a woman to hit a man if he says hurtful or humiliating things?
Yes, it is understandable - which does not make it justifiable or correct.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Should men also be careful because not all women are going to hold back and keep their cool?
Absolutely.

One need not be a Jew or a Christian to have heard that the Bible's Book of Proverbs (Tanakh, as per what City-Data Jews would call it) is loaded with references to watching one's mouth. It can make one into a fool, it can cause fights and dissension, and it can certainly lead to violence.

Many women have gone ballistic when men said things that were better off not said, or at least, said more diplomatically. My old upstairs neighbors assaulted her then roommate/boyfriend with several objects which I heard crash against the wall as she screamed in profanity. However petite she was, she had a huge Napoleon complex and literally threw him out. He dared not strike her back. Did he say anything to earn her wrath? Probably. Did she do a good job of restraining herself? Obviously not. Had it been him throwing things at her, would he have gotten in trouble w/ the law? INDUBITABLY.

She just left for a drink after he left and that was the end of it. Double standard, eh?
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Old 06-08-2010, 11:03 AM
 
5,148 posts, read 3,786,156 times
Reputation: 2865
NO. You never hit a woman or even call her the C word. Just walk away. Come on guys, if you are two weak to escape the clutches of a woman then I don't know what to say.


If you want to, call the cops. However most cops aren't going to do anything about it. Doesn't make it right....but 2 wrongs NEVER make a right.



Also, women that hit you, WANT YOU TO HIT THEM BACK! Don't be that guy.
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Old 06-08-2010, 11:04 AM
 
1,860 posts, read 3,604,551 times
Reputation: 1392
Quote:
Originally Posted by Niceguy89 View Post
In general, I'd say someone who makes the first move should count on getting the same treatment back, though personally I don't think I'll ever go past blocking/keeping her from hitting whatever the girl is trying to hit...
THIS.

It is NATURAL instinct to defend... and to retaliate.

Any more questions?
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Old 06-08-2010, 11:06 AM
 
1,860 posts, read 3,604,551 times
Reputation: 1392
Quote:
Originally Posted by JSizzle225 View Post
Also, women that hit you, WANT YOU TO HIT THEM BACK! Don't be that guy.
I don't think I can agree with this.

No woman who slaps or punches a man WANTS that man to punch her square in the jaw.

Women however do this often because they're used to going up to a man's face and dressing him down because they know many men will not retaliate. Has anyone noticed why it's generally women at clubs etc who get loudest and scummiest against bouncers and security guards?

Men KNOW their limitations and they don't push them. Women know them but push them anyway.
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Old 06-08-2010, 11:06 AM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,236 posts, read 37,826,794 times
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Escalating conflict isn't necessarily a good idea. In ANY case, I'd rather restrain than strike.

I'd rather put you in an arm lock or head lock than kick you...even if you're a man.
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Old 06-08-2010, 11:11 AM
 
Location: NYC area
3,486 posts, read 4,648,511 times
Reputation: 3829
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sprawling_Homeowner View Post
Women, at times, are simply clueless at how men's honor and pride are wounded when women say evil things that tear at their insides. References to family, or to their manhood, can literally break a man's spirit. And I'm not talking about stating their opinions, asserting themselves, or having a voice - in other words, I am ALL for women as men's COMPLETE equals.

What I refer to is women making statements that are made for no other reason than to wound, to demean, and to belittle men. Which often use facts the men would rather leave buried; things in a man's past. Who hasn't made mistakes? Who has an absolutely perfect family? Who has never had insecurities?

It was Redisca who wrote here in a thread regarding a radio show where humiliation took place in revenge to a cheating girlfriend that publicly humiliating a person is akin to murder, to killing their spirit. Women (and of course, MEN TOO) need to realize that some words can cause profound emotional damage, not to mention destroy or damage relationships.

So women, PLEASE be careful. Not all men are going to hold back; not all men are gentlemen; not all men will keep their cool under the heat caused by dangerous words hurled their way. As Danzjeepn said, women are just not aware of how strong we men are. Even a man in average shape is stronger than the average woman. Take it from someone who has been lifting weights for 5 years straight and who can barbell curl as much weight as certain smaller, petite women weigh. If you go swinging at a man, do so knowing that he may well hit you back.
I said that and I stand by it -- however, at no point did I say that tearing someone down justifies physical violence. Is there a double standard when it comes to violence? Sure, but there is more than one. I wince when people compare men to dangerous animals who lack the capacity to reason and have no control over their urges, while at the same time demanding that they be treated with consideration and respect for their "honor". No one can have it both ways. Telling women to "be careful" with their words -- singling out women to be careful in saying things that may provoke a violent response -- is a typical excuse of an abuser. Not saying that you are an abuser, but ask anyone who is and he or she will tell you that the victim "asked for it" by saying something.

I don't know how to take this advice you are giving here. I am certainly mindful of the fact that something I say or do may provoke a rapist, a serial killer or a thug -- but just because they can be provoked, I don't think that alone makes me to blame for what they might do to me. It's a slippery slope problem, really, where some people's egos and sense of "honor" are so fragile, they can feel justified in wiping the floor with you because they thought you were smirking. And of course, I am rather nonplussed by the implication in your post that somehow men's emotions are more precious than women's and thus deserve to be vindicated with violence. Why is it that men don't have to be careful in verbally assaulting women? If you grant validity to people launching into a physical violence because of something that was said, the next logical "advice" is to tell women to shut the **** up altogether (just in case), or better yet, just stay indoors.
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Old 06-08-2010, 11:13 AM
 
1,860 posts, read 3,604,551 times
Reputation: 1392
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redisca View Post
I said that and I stand by it -- however, at no point did I say that tearing someone down justifies physical violence. Is there a double standard when it comes to violence? Sure, but there is more than one. I wince when people compare men to dangerous animals who lack the capacity to reason and have no control over their urges, while at the same time demanding that they be treated with consideration and respect for their "honor". No one can have it both ways. Telling women to "be careful" with their words -- singling out women to be careful in saying things that may provoke a violent response -- is a typical excuse of an abuser. Not saying that you are an abuser, but ask anyone who is and he or she will tell you that the victim "asked for it" by saying something. I don't know how to take this advice you are giving here. I am certainly mindful of the fact that something I say or do may provoke a rapist, a serial killer or a thug -- but just because they can be provoked, I don't think that alone makes me to blame for what they might do to me. It's a slippery slope problem, really, where some people's egos and sense of "honor" are so fragile, they can feel justified in wiping the floor with you because they thought you were smirking. And of course, I am rather nonplussed by the implication in your post that somehow men's emotions are more precious than women's and thus deserve to be vindicated with violence. Why is it that men don't have to be careful in verbally assaulting women?
Read subsequent posts, please.
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Old 06-08-2010, 11:14 AM
 
5,148 posts, read 3,786,156 times
Reputation: 2865
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sprawling_Homeowner View Post
I don't think I can agree with this.

No woman who slaps or punches a man WANTS that man to punch her square in the jaw.

Women however do this often because they're used to going up to a man's face and dressing him down because they know many men will not retaliate. Has anyone noticed why it's generally women at clubs etc who get loudest and scummiest against bouncers and security guards?

Men KNOW their limitations and they don't push them. Women know them but push them anyway.
Well, I don't have any Scientific evidence to back this up....

But I would say that people that are physically abusive are all about control. So if a woman hits you or smacks you....she's in the bad. If you hit her back, everything is all back on you. The control is on her side. She can call the cops, she can hold that against you for a while.

Unless I'm dating Cyborg, I think I will stand up to most women's best right cross. I'm not going to sit around and give that kind of destructive environment ANY attention whatsoever. I'll just leave. And I probably won't bother to come back....as I'm not interested in being with a woman that has such bad communication, she is hitting people.
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Old 06-08-2010, 11:14 AM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,236 posts, read 37,826,794 times
Reputation: 10831
Because it usually earns men a slap--which is thought perfectly acceptable for a woman to do, but not a man.
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