A moral dilemma (Mary, marriage, faith, God)

[weatherologist]

Let me preface this by saying, while this may seem like I am looking for a Christian POV, I entered this in the R&P because there are many non-believers who's views I respect and would also appreciate.

Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary. Eight years. This is an easy date/year for me to remember because my oldest daughter will turn 8 in October. Needless to say, she was not born 4 months premature. I was 6 months pregnant at the time of my wedding. That being said, I do believe that God wants us to remain virgins until we are married. This is a value that I hope to instill in my children. My husband and I have discussed the issue of my being pregnant before marriage and have considered just letting the children believe that it is one year longer than it really is. Meaning, I am celebrating my 9th wedding anniversary this year. Now, I am not one to condone lying to my children (or anyone else for that matter). Which in lies my dilemma.

I am curious, how would you advise me to handle this situation?

I also have one other problem that has been driving me crazy for about a week. My living room furniture has a 5 year warranty on it. At the time of purchase I did not understand that I was purchasing an "accident" policy. Last week, I decided to call on a few issues that I was having and found out the facts. All accidents, no matter what the cause, are covered. NOT normal wear and tear. So, if I just happened to take a knife to my sofa and call in the accident report within 7 days, no prob...new sofa. What is driving me crazy about this situation is that for the last 3+ years I have had my FIVE children behaving very nicely on my furniture. If I would have let them run wild, I would have new furniture today.

PS: For the record, the first problem is much more important than the second. Just thought I would throw it in.

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[ptsum]

Weather, if I have read the story right, I do believe that Mary had Jesus before her and Joseph were married, that is if I've read the story correctly. I would not concern myself about the date when she was born or when you were married, just thank the Creator for having her, she is a gift and to be cherished.

Now as for your furniture, is a five-year accident warranty still in effect?

[Reads2MUCH]

Originally Posted by ptsum

Weather, if I have read the story right, I do believe that Mary had Jesus before her and Joseph were married, that is if I've read the story correctly. I would not concern myself about the date when she was born or when you were married, just thank the Creator for having her, she is a gift and to be cherished.

Now as for your furniture, is a five-year accident warranty still in effect?

The only problem with that is that Jesus was supposed to have been an immaculate conception. Basically Jesus was just placed in Mary's womb without sex being involved.

[weatherologist]

Originally Posted by ptsum

Now as for your furniture, is a five-year accident warranty still in effect?

Yes, I have 1-1/2 more years for accidents to take place with the furniture. I am just trying to justify leaving an open bottle of red wine on the sofa and then calling it an accident. In all honesty, the furniture has served us well. Considering the 5 children and all. There are just some annoying watermarks in the wood and the sofas have some issues that cannot be justified as "accidents". I just wish I would have realized what was buying at the time. Perhaps I would not have been so hard on the children when they wanted to eat and drink in the living room.

[weatherologist]

Originally Posted by Reads2MUCH

The only problem with that is that Jesus was supposed to have been an immaculate conception. Basically Jesus was just placed in Mary's womb without sex being involved.

Yes, this is true. I am afraid that the same cannot be said of my situation.

[Deb in VA]

Weather, I would say that you have to be honest with your children regarding the fact that you were pregnant at the time you were married. I'm assuming none of your children have ever asked about it (if your oldest is just eight, I would think it hasn't been brought up by any of them as of yet). I think I would just wait until one of them asks about it and then use it as an opportunity to tell them that even though you did thus and so, you want them to make a different choice and remain a virgin until marriage. This reminds me of my aunt and uncle, wonderful Christian people whom I love dearly. They have seven children and it wasn't until I was a teenager that I found out (through my parents) that my aunt was pregnant with her first child at the time they were married. I can't tell you how shocked I was to find this out. I had always sort of put my aunt on a pedestal before this and it really helped me to see that she was vulnerable just like everyone else in the world. Unfortunately the baby died when she was six months old of pneumonia.

Regarding the furniture situation, I understand where you're coming from. We have leather furniture and also bought an insurance policy for it. We had five kittens (long story ) that scratched the heck out of the leather. Stupid me thought we could have it replaced but was told that kitten scratches weren't covered. If I had taken a knife to it, that would have been covered .

[Reads2MUCH]

Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary. Eight years. This is an easy date/year for me to remember because my oldest daughter will turn 8 in October. Needless to say, she was not born 4 months premature. I was 6 months pregnant at the time of my wedding. That being said, I do believe that God wants us to remain virgins until we are married. This is a value that I hope to instill in my children. My husband and I have discussed the issue of my being pregnant before marriage and have considered just letting the children believe that it is one year longer than it really is. Meaning, I am celebrating my 9th wedding anniversary this year. Now, I am not one to condone lying to my children (or anyone else for that matter). Which in lies my dilemma.

I think where your faith is involved it would better to just tell the children the truth if it should ever come up. I wouldn't jump out there and just offer up the info. because truthfully it really shouldn't matter to them what your marital status was when they were conceived. But I feel like lying to them might only bite you in the butt one day when they get older. My wife was four months pregnant with our first when we married and the subject has yet to come up and my son is 9. But if the subject does come up I guess I will just have to tell him how it is. You just concentrate on the doing the best you can in raising your child, and let God take care of the rest. Lying never solved anything for long, and I think God has his little ways of making the truth come out in the end. Hope this helps a little.

[prim2007]

What is the greater virtue to you, not having sex before marriage or demonstrating that we can sin, confess them and make atonement, and in the end this is how things turned out for us? To me asking God for forgiveness would mean that I no longer had to live in shame about something I had done and it would just be a part of my testimony if I shared this with my children. So many children choose not to seek us out believing we are perfect and will not relate to their challenges, including the decision to be a virgin until married so this will just show them we are not perfect and they should feel free to come to us.

[Towhee]

Since my parents never celebrated their wedding anniversary this never came up. I don't think I even knew when it was. But after I was grown, and found out when they were married, I wondered about my oldest sister's birth date, in relation to their marriage. It really does not matter to me, and I doubt if it does to my sister either. She was/is certainly loved by all of us, regardless. We are all well up in our years now, and our parents have long passed on.

I have heard the saying that the first can come anytime, but the next takes 9 months. :-)

Unless your daughter asks, I would not make an issue of it.

I am thankful to hear that you are married.

[ptsum]

Originally Posted by weatherologist

Yes, I have 1-1/2 more years for accidents to take place with the furniture. I am just trying to justify leaving an open bottle of red wine on the sofa and then calling it an accident. In all honesty, the furniture has served us well. Considering the 5 children and all. There are just some annoying watermarks in the wood and the sofas have some issues that cannot be justified as "accidents". I just wish I would have realized what was buying at the time. Perhaps I would not have been so hard on the children when they wanted to eat and drink in the living room.

Sounds to me like enough has already been done to the furniture that the warranty should cover it without having to do anything more to it and if you have 1 1/2 years left on the warranty,I don't think you should have a problem with replacing any of it.