Nice way to get mormons to leave us alone? (hell, Revelations, LDS)

[Predos]

I live in Utah, the Mormon capital of the world and have found that a polite dismisal usually does the trick. The one time that these missionaries were overly insistant, I told them that I would talk with them as soon as I finished with my human sacrifice

[chielgirl]

Originally Posted by GCSTroop

Tell them you're not interested unless you can do the polygamy part because you find the interaction with one man and a large group of women to be highly erotic.

But, I like chielgirl's idea as well. Hmmm.... Perhaps I should dress up as a Mormon and start going door to door???

Be careful what you wish for.

[LogicIsYourFriend]

Make a pamphlet about being agnostic or atheist and turn it around on them. Oh wait, that could keep em there longer.

[Bluesbabe]

I'm married to a jack-Mormon and occasionally the missionaries will come by to check on my husband. They know that he's never been active in the church but they hang in there with hopes, I guess. He'll talk to them if he's in the mood.

Interestingly, though, they've never attempted to meet with me. Ever.

I think you'll be okay if you post a sign on your door that reads, "No solicitors INCLUDING religious affiliations. We have our own." I have never known the Mormon missionaries to be nearly as aggressive as the Jehova Witnesses.

One of my husband's brothers used to work the graveyard shift, and one morning he was getting ready for bed when the doorbell rang. It was a couple of Jehova ladies, and they wouldn't let up even when he told them that he had to get some sleep. He finally told them that he was going to bed, and if they wanted to, they could follow him into the bedroom and take their clothes off and join him.

They left in a hurry.

[dreameyes]

Originally Posted by norcalmom101

Looking for serious and effective strategies for nicely getting the mormons in our small town to leave us alone, not the friends and family members, but the ones clearly assigned to us, who are driving me ballistic by trespassing to proselytize.

The next time they come to your door. Firmly ask them to give you the name and number of their mission President and give him a call and let him know you're not interested. They need to respect you.

[fierce_flawless]

Originally Posted by grannynancy

I did once shut one up by saying
So you say that you will reach out to me in the afterlife and show me the way THEN?
They said - yes.
So I said "see you then" there was not a programmed response to that one.

UH, I have also said "I am a Christian" "I already have a church" "I don't want to talk"

Be nice to them; they are just kids.

My neighbor tells any proselytizing visitors that she can't talk, she is tired from being up all night at her job as a stripper.

In my neighborhood we've had much more obnoxious behavior from the Jehovah's Witnesses too... I have a fenced yard and no soliciting signs and they will still stand there and bang on my gate on Saturday mornings!! One morning they had a child with them, about 2.5, who was having the tantrum to end all tantrums the whole time they were trying to get me to come out! Arrrgh!

I can't stand being woken up early on a Saturday so I have resorted to letting my dog out when they've woken me up. I put her on a long leash hooked inside, then she heads out and runs towards them standing at the gate. She can't actually reach them (about 2 feet shy) and she's pretty much all bark, no bite... but they don't know that when they see her coming.

[Capt. Dan]

Welcome them inside and as soon as they are in lock the door and say "Hi! Funny you should show up now. I was just thinking about making some Mormon stew!"

[JetJockey]

Originally Posted by GCSTroop

Tell them you're not interested unless you can do the polygamy part because you find the interaction with one man and a large group of women to be highly erotic.

But, I like chielgirl's idea as well. Hmmm.... Perhaps I should dress up as a Mormon and start going door to door???

There's a youtube video of some people dressed up like mormons who went around with Darwin's 'Origin of Species' and they were knocking on peoples doors in Utah 'preaching' Atheism.... pretty darn funny stuff

[ParkTwain]

"Can we have a talk about Fanny Alger?"
Fanny Alger - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
The Wives of Joseph Smith - Fanny Alger


"Can we have a talk about Reformed Egyptian?"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reformed_Egyptian


"Can we have a talk about View of the Hebrews, written in 1823 by Ethan Smith, pastor of Oliver Cowdery's (LDS church's Second Elder) family's church in Vermont, before Joseph Smith, Jr. received (in 1827) the plates on which the Book of Mormon was written?"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/View_of_the_Hebrews

[GCSTroop]

Originally Posted by chielgirl

Be careful what you wish for.

*Knock, Knock*