abstinence education (Catholics, Christian, believers, heaven)

[beth ann]

I don't support pre-marital sex for anyone, especially NOT for teens, and I will teach my children why sex outside of marriage has many negative repercussions. However, having had pre-marital sex myself....I don't see my position as hypocritical....only the "voice of experience".

In college, sex for me was all about feeling loved. As human beings, love is a basic need. If you're not getting it in a healthy way, then you may seek it in more unhealthy ways.

In my situation, I fell in "love" and soon found myself pregnant. Petrified, confused and desperate, I did the most horrible thing I could ever imagine doing....destroying the life of my own unborn child. It was a long time ago, and with God's grace, I have experienced a lot of healing. I even experienced a supernatural healing when a priest laid hands over me during a healing service on the 7th anniversary and actually prayed over my stomach, as well as my head....quite amazing.

But, the experience of loss, grief, shame, secrecy and devastation was all-encompassing. I don't think that many people realize how many people suffer from abortion. It's permanent. But, also, amazingly, God has used this terrible experience to glorify Him. I have been able to talk to many young girls who are faced w/ unplanned pregnancies and tell them about my experience and let them know there are better, life-affirming "choices".

Thankfully, dh we have a few more years w/ our kids before we have to cross that bridge.....plenty of time to get on our knees and pray, pray, pray

[gizmo980]

Originally Posted by Alpha8207

Any one that thinks that ANY 15 year old is old enough to have sex scares me. You can say you don't agree, that's fine. But I just don't think that any responsible adult would agree with him.

I'm not saying they won't have sex, giz, but stretch is said "I think that most people should wait to have sex until their mid to late teens" and that's different than saying "teens will have sex". I take stretch's comments to mean he condones sex at the mid to late teen age. I personally think that's irresponsible and it scares me for my kids sake. I wouldn't want my child dating stretch's child. My child may have sex anyway, but I wouldn't want a parent on the other side that's OK with sex at this age.

Again, you're free to disagree.

What do other parents think about that statement?

I'm not a parent, but to defend my statement you're responding to.... I took stretch's comments differently, and didn't "hear" that he CONDONES sex at that age. He's just being realistic, and saying that mid-late teens are more commonly when it happens. If that is what he's saying, it's not an opinion, it is statistical fact. I don't know anyone who waited until their 20's (of the recent generations), and the majority of us turned out fine despite it. But regardless, I don't think stretch or any other parents would condone it - even for their 20-something kids, LOL.

[brittZ]

I think the idea that kids in their teens are ready to have sex is absolutely asinine. I would suspect that the person who holds this idea has never had the distinct displeasure of dealing with a child in their mid-teen years who is pregnant, about to be a father, has contracted a disease that will end their life, facing the fears of being ostracized by their peers, facing abortion, or any other of the disastrous results that can come from having sex at such a young age.

Regardless of male or female (although it is much stronger in females) sex causes an emotional bond between two people which is very hard to break. The bonds of sexual intimacy are wonderful for people who are able to handle them - i.e. adults. My personal and religious convictions dictate that sex is strictly for married couples. God has given us sex as a means for reproduction and also as the glue that binds a marriage.

The notion that sex is just a casual outlet for physical desires between two people who find each other attractive makes me sick and quite frankly it is a major contributor to the degeneration of society. If people could keep their pants up and their mouths shut a little more often in our society a lot of problems would go away.

the only reason itis unreasonable to expect kids to not have sex and control themselves is because a large portion of the adult population can't control themselves and set such a poor example. If you want your kids to not have sex before their married, then you have to set the example. it is absurd to expect kids to not have sex when their role models have set the standard so low that even a worm could meet the mark.

This society is so busy arrogantly justifying itself with our superior intelligence and indulging itself with a morality that is based on what feels good at the moment that is has forgotten it sets the example for the youth.

Gismo, I could run a list of people I know who didn't have sex until they were married.

There will always be kids who make the wrong choice in all kinds of things. However, we do not need to further enable them by saying it is unreasonable to live by a higher standard. Saying that it is unreasonable to wait to have sex is no different than saying it is unreasonable to not give in to your urges and desires. It is an ideology that speaks of no self control, will power, or self respect. If you are a parent, teacher, youth leader, or anyone else who has involvement with kids, you have the responsibility to teach kids to hold themselves to a higher standard than to live a life based on short term physical urges and desires. You won't always win, but you darn sure have the duty to try and keep trying.

[gizmo980]

Originally Posted by brittZ

I think the idea that kids in their teens are ready to have sex is absolutely asinine. I would suspect that the person who holds this idea has never had the distinct displeasure of dealing with a child in their mid-teen years who is pregnant, about to be a father, has contracted a disease that will end their life, facing the fears of being ostracized by their peers, facing abortion, or any other of the disastrous results that can come from having sex at such a young age.

Regardless of male or female (although it is much stronger in females) sex causes an emotional bond between two people which is very hard to break. The bonds of sexual intimacy are wonderful for people who are able to handle them - i.e. adults. My personal and religious convictions dictate that sex is strictly for married couples. God has given us sex as a means for reproduction and also as the glue that binds a marriage.

The notion that sex is just a casual outlet for physical desires between two people who find each other attractive makes me sick and quite frankly it is a major contributor to the degeneration of society. If people could keep their pants up and their mouths shut a little more often in our society a lot of problems would go away.

the only reason itis unreasonable to expect kids to not have sex and control themselves is because a large portion of the adult population can't control themselves and set such a poor example. If you want your kids to not have sex before their married, then you have to set the example. it is absurd to expect kids to not have sex when their role models have set the standard so low that even a worm could meet the mark.

This society is so busy arrogantly justifying itself with our superior intelligence and indulging itself with a morality that is based on what feels good at the moment that is has forgotten it sets the example for the youth.

Gismo, I could run a list of people I know who didn't have sex until they were married.

That's great... and are they ALL successful, happy, and well-adjusted people? Maybe they are, and maybe they aren't - just like myself & others who DIDN'T wait. I'm not saying it's a great idea to have sex as a teen, but it's also not the end of society. I survived just fine, because I knew how to be safe, and yes I got lucky. But I really resent you implying that I'm lacking in morals, "slutty", and everything else you're saying. Last time I checked, my life was pretty darned good despite my sinful pre-marital sexual escapades. And furthermore, just because a couple isn't MARRIED, that doesn't mean they're engaging in meaningless sex. Ever heard of a long-term, committed & loving relationship?

Moderator cut: personal

[robinhood]

I believe in teaching abstinence. It is 100% safe. However, just because we recommend abstinence, doesn't mean all of the kids are going to listen. For those who don't, they need to have been taught ways to protect themselves. Even though it has been years since I was a teen, it feels like yestersday. I was one of those semi-rebellious teens that thought that Mama and Daddy knew nothing and were trying to make my life miserable. For some reason though, the awareness of AIDS had just become rampant and my class in school was basically taught that if we had sex there was a high chance we could contract HIV and die. That put the breaks on for me. It didn't stop everyone else though and I'm thankful my friends were taught to protect themselves with condoms.

[nvxplorer]

Saying that fifteen year olds aren't ready to have sex is denying human biology and ignoring history.

Fifteen year olds are not only "designed" (by the Christian God, to many here) to have sex, but they are designed to bear and raise children.

What fifteen year olds are not ready for is responsibility in an industrialized society, but this has absolutely nothing to do with sex. (Indeed, it is the pressures of modern first world life that have imposed an artificial barrier to teens. No wonder they are so confused.)

A simple gaze into the (not so distant) past or a look-see at present day agricultural societies will show that teens have been raising families since the dawn of man.

[stretch00]

-Mod cut- personal

Gizmo, thank you for articulately stating my position.

NvXplorer. Absolutely. Biology is a separate thing from the way we run our modern society.

-Mod cut- orphan

For the record, I said:

I think that most people should wait to have sex until their mid to late teens, but should receive support to wait longer if they so choose.

Everybody now seems to think that I am sending 15 year old girls onto the streets in a teddy clutching a condom. Read it again people. Mid to late. That means 16, 17, 18 or 19. Conceivably 15, sure, but on the young end of a spectrum.

And yes, I think that people SHOULD engage in sexual activity, and I think that they SHOULD start as teenagers. At an age appropriate to them. I think that sex is not restricted to marriage, although I personally am unwaveringly monogamous.

Sure, there are risks associated with sex. But there are risks associated with riding motorbikes, playing football, cheerleading and eating fatty foods. It is about being informed, making good decisions, and being supported in that.

Let me ask another question. Lets assume that I do have a 16 year old daughter. And Dawn has a 16 year old daughter. I have been open with my daughter, told her that sex will happen for her when she wants, with the guy she wants, I set up an annual ob-gyn appt with a doctor for her, and she knows that I have put 1000 condoms in a desk drawer and never count them.

Dawn (if I may presume, I am only telling a tale here) has told her daughter that there should be no sex before marriage, it is a sin, she will get an STD and be scarred for life.

Both girls have aggressive boyfriends.

Who is more likely to have protected sex?

[Alpha8207]

Originally Posted by stretch00

And yes, I think that people SHOULD engage in sexual activity, and I think that they SHOULD start as teenagers. At an age appropriate to them. I think that sex is not restricted to marriage, although I personally am unwaveringly monogamous.

Thanks for clarifying. I didn't think I had put words in your mouth and I stand by my opinion of your previous post and reiterate that opinion in light of this one.

Everyone is entitled to their opinions but I wouldn't want my kids dating or hanging out with your kids, even more so with this post.

[tooshort]

Originally Posted by stretch00

-Mod cut- orphan

Gizmo, thank you for articulately stating my position.

NvXplorer. Absolutely. Biology is a separate thing from the way we run our modern society.

-Mod cut - orphan

For the record, I said:

I think that most people should wait to have sex until their mid to late teens, but should receive support to wait longer if they so choose.

Everybody now seems to think that I am sending 15 year old girls onto the streets in a teddy clutching a condom. Read it again people. Mid to late. That means 16, 17, 18 or 19. Conceivably 15, sure, but on the young end of a spectrum.

And yes, I think that people SHOULD engage in sexual activity, and I think that they SHOULD start as teenagers. At an age appropriate to them. I think that sex is not restricted to marriage, although I personally am unwaveringly monogamous.

Sure, there are risks associated with sex. But there are risks associated with riding motorbikes, playing football, cheerleading and eating fatty foods. It is about being informed, making good decisions, and being supported in that.

Let me ask another question. Lets assume that I do have a 16 year old daughter. And Dawn has a 16 year old daughter. I have been open with my daughter, told her that sex will happen for her when she wants, with the guy she wants, I set up an annual ob-gyn appt with a doctor for her, and she knows that I have put 1000 condoms in a desk drawer and never count them.

Dawn (if I may presume, I am only telling a tale here) has told her daughter that there should be no sex before marriage, it is a sin, she will get an STD and be scarred for life.

Both girls have aggressive boyfriends.

Who is more likely to have protected sex?

hmmm...your daughter is more likely to have protected sex? Am i right? huh?

[Angry Aspie]

Whether or not someone believes in God doesn't change the consequences of sin.
If everyone on Earth followed God's plans for sex only in marriage, there wouldn't be AIDS, STD's, or paternity tests on Maury Povich.

If an Atheist follows the ordinances of the land (as God says to do) and wears their seatbelt and drives the speed limit, then they reduce their chance of being in a fatal accident by 70%

If you don't believe in Gravity, does an apple no longer fall down from a tree?