abstinence education (faith, believe, Christ, children)

[Art R]

Abstinence does not work. Period. What does work is education. Look at Western Europe, less teen pregnancy, fewer abortions, much more comfortable with sex. You would think pro lifers would love it because it reduces abortions but unfortunately the European way is not "religiously correct".

[weatherologist]

Eeeeek! And here I was afraid that this would be a non-issue. In my opinion, I think that sex education is very important, with a high emphasis on abstinence. I will and have (I have a 15 yo son) teach my children that abstinence until marriage is what God wants for us. (I will also support that) However, I will also teach them about birth control. This is not to say that I will have a condom jar next to the cookie jar. I am trying to weigh the Christian/non-Christian vote on this subject and it looks like abstinence is mostly supported by the Christian crowd. I personally did not practice what I preach. However, here is a quetion that I have posed to a girlfriend who is unwed...What if there was some sort of guarantee that sex after marriage would be the greatest physical experience that two people could share? I mean mind-blowing sex! For the rest of your married lives! Would you be willing to wait? I guess I ask this question because there just seems to be not "valid" reason for the adult unwed people to NOT have sex. (I was a prime example.) If it feels good, do it. But what if it could feel better? I am curious...are there any unwed (male or female, believers or non) who would be willing to state that they are waiting for marriage?

[urbanlemur]

I have seen and read a lot of interviews with teenagers, especially girls, who admitted that they made a big mistake in having sex so early in life. The vast majority of them regretted having given themselves over to their desires rather than waiting until marriage. They wish they could reverse what took place but know that they now have to deal with the consequences, which is having to raise a child at way too early an age.

My wife works as a teacher in the NYC public school system and the stories she tells me regarding children and what they know and are doing is absolutely frightening. Here are some examples and I will keep them as clean as possible:

A six year old is performing a mock sex act with another boy in the lunchroom and has to be escorted out by two administrators.

A girl talks about her mother and father embracing one other in the living room while a pornographic movie is playing on the tv. I'll leave the rest to you.

A boy has a habit of sticking his hands down the pants of others, boys and girls. He even attempts to do this with a teacher.

Another boy wants to fondle everyone, no matter if it's a child or an adult.

Without education, these children are very possibly poised to become sex offenders, rapists or worse as they get older. Where do they get these ideas? From irresponsible parents who don't care what their children watch or do. Education needs to start at home and if the parents don't do something, then the schools need to step in and this is a scary scenario also.

Our country is in a state of severe moral decline and as long as we sit back and do nothing, it will continue to get worse and we can only blame ourselves for the results. They won't be pretty.

[alicenevada]

I waited until marriage and so did most of my friends. Bible training is beneficial in this area but its very important that your children develop a relationship with God tht will make them WANT to do what he wishes. My husband was also a virgin when we married. We did marry relatively young but I have lots of friends who are much older than we were that still stand by that decision.

[Miss Blue]

Originally Posted by weatherologist

OK, this one came from another thread. It was mentioned in this thread that Christians try to force their ideas/views/ideologies (I don't remember the exact quote) on others. One of these views being abstinence education.

I'm sorry, is the idea that we should teach our children to abstain from sexual intercourse until marriage only a Christian view? I'm at a lose with this one and the problem is that my hubby is yelling at me to go to bed. So if there is any discussion on this subject, I'll have to check back in the morning.

Thanks everyone. Have a great evening.

God bless us all...

Weather...

This is a morality, health, parent responsibility thing . Parents should raise their children to be responsible adults.. IMO, sex education should be taught at home along with classroom teaching. It has been my experience that parents who don't have an open attitude about talking to their children about sex, are the ones who end up with "babies having babies".One more thing, I think it should be a parents right to allow or not allow their child to sit through a sex education class at school. Parents used to have to sign a paper for their child to participate.As for myself, I taught my children that sex before marriage was morally wrong. I also told them about std's and the consequences. Sometimes the best intentions turn on you..My daughter was madly in love at fifteen (hormones were overactive, boyfriend was only seventeen with a hoemonal overload also) She wanted to get married. We of course disagreed, and had BIG arguements over this, I finally took her to obgyn for birthcontrol, because I wanted her to be safe, because I knew that she would have sex anyway. My hubby (being staunch fundamentalist) took her to courthouse without my knowledge and signed for her to get marriedso she wouldn't be sinnin'. Short story is , she has been miserable ever since. Quit school in the ninth grade, first baby by 16 yrs old, studied and passed ged test. Had three kids that Blue helps raise because she has to work for $10 an hour, because her husband is incapable of taking care of himself.
b

[ADVentive]

I disagree with abstinence-only sex education in public schools. If you believe in abstinence until marriage, I would encourage you to teach that belief to your child in your home or in your church or in your private schools. But I do think that this is a religious belief (though perhaps not specifically Christian) about pre-marital sex and should not be endorsed by the public schools. Besides that, it has been proven to be less effective than comprehensive sex education in preventing teen pregnancy. I also think that comprehensive sex ed should be taught in school because even if you choose to wait until marriage to have sex, chances are you will still need to know about birth control methods then.

I will encourage my daughter to wait to have sex until she is in a loving, committed, monogomous relationship, however I will not encourage her to wait until marriage. I will teach her to use protection before marriage to avoid pregnancy and STDs. I would agree that the late teens is an appropriate age to start having sex in modern society. I think that having this kind of attitude with your teen about sex encourages them to come and talk to you about it and to use protection when they do it. They can view sex as something to be shared with someone they love, and not something that is dirty or forbidden.

As a real life example, my sister is 16. She has been dating the same boy for about 2 years. She recently asked my mom to take her to get birth control, which my mom did. She says that she is not ready to have sex with him yet, but we think that she's probably seriously considering it at this point based on the above. I wouldn't say that I would encourage her to just do it, but I would certainly support her in that decision if that is her choice. I myself had a similar experience when I was 17 when I asked my parents to get me birth control. I did have sex with my boyfriend at 17 and then later I married him. We used birth control until we were ready to have a baby, which was well after we got married. I have absolutely no regrets about this.

[weatherologist]

Originally Posted by alicenavada

I waited until marriage and so did most of my friends. Bible training is beneficial in this area but its very important that your children develop a relationship with God tht will make them WANT to do what he wishes. My husband was also a virgin when we married. We did marry relatively young but I have lots of friends who are much older than we were that still stand by that decision.

Love this! I think that a relationship with God is truly important. As much as I would like to think that my children will just "do it" or in this case, not "do it" because I said so, I think that reinforcing God's teaching is very KEY. (But that only works for believers.)

[alicenevada]

Originally Posted by weatherologist

Love this! I think that a relationship with God is truly important. As much as I would like to think that my children will just "do it" or in this case, not "do it" because I said so, I think that reinforcing God's teaching is very KEY. (But that only works for believers.)

Right. It does. But even then, once you're alone w/ the opposite sex (especially if you're crazy inlove), parental advice goes out the window! It is the knowledge that your loving heavenly Father is watching you and rooting for you to make the right decision that stays with you, then.

[tooshort]

Originally Posted by alicenavada

I waited until marriage and so did most of my friends. Bible training is beneficial in this area but its very important that your children develop a relationship with God tht will make them WANT to do what he wishes. My husband was also a virgin when we married. We did marry relatively young but I have lots of friends who are much older than we were that still stand by that decision.

That is pretty impressive. I can honestly say that I don't know anyone who waited until they got married. And I have friends who were raised as strict Catholics and were constantly taught that they should abstain until marriage per their religion. They just didn't tell their parents that they were doing it and the parents assumed that their kids weren't doing anything either. This is why I hope to have a very open relationship with my daughter when she is older so that she can come to me if she has any questions and/or concerns instead of doing stuff behind my back (the way I did with my parents ). I don't think scaring your children with the wrath of God is the right thing to do. Kids like that will probably end up as serial killers or complete nutjobs.

[alicenevada]

Originally Posted by tooshort

That is pretty impressive. I can honestly say that I don't know anyone who waited until they got married. And I have friends who were raised as strict Catholics and were constantly taught that they should abstain until marriage per their religion. They just didn't tell their parents that they were doing it and the parents assumed that their kids weren't doing anything either. This is why I hope to have a very open relationship with my daughter when she is older so that she can come to me if she has any questions and/or concerns instead of doing stuff behind my back (the way I did with my parents ). I don't think scaring your children with the wrath of God is the right thing to do. Kids like that will probably end up as serial killers or complete nutjobs.

No, scaring kids w/ the wrath of God definitely doesnt work. For one thing, it's unscriptural and for another thing, when you're a teen you feel a bit omnipotent (due to all the hormones I suppose) and the 'here and now' is all you tend to care about.