Could Your Religious Beliefs Allow You To Forgive A Cheating Spouse? (bible, quote) - Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Atheism, God, Universe, Science, Spirituality, Faith, Evidence - City-Data Forum

MontanaGuy · 06-23-2007, 05:10 PM

As you know, I'm not religious and I've never been married, but this is an easy one for me to answer. The answer is no. I can't understand why anyone would even get married in the first place if they weren't sure if they could remain faithful to their husband or wife. A few years ago my supervisor, who was a very nice woman, actually caught her husband and one of my coworkers coming out of a hotel together. They were both married and both marriages ended very quickly. Both families also had young children so it was a disaster for many people. If I had a wife who cheated on me I would also end the marriage immediately and have nothing more to do with her. To me that's unforgiveable and the ultimate betrayal. Of course this affects religious and non religious people alike but I'm wondering how people might perceive this from a religious point of view.

irishmom · 06-23-2007, 05:14 PM

I don't know if I could forgive that, but I hope I could. I know that sounds confusing but after being married for 15 years I think I would be giving up much more than I would be gaining by not forgiving my husband. One thing I do know is that I hope to never be in that situation. I have also pretty much told my husband how ugly it would be for him if he ever puts me in that situation (picture his belongings burning on the front lawn for starters

)...so hopefully I've scared him sufficiently...LOL

dreameyes · 06-23-2007, 05:15 PM

I think a lot of this would depend on the others repentance and humility. I don't think it is unforgiveable and I don't think one should jump to divorce if there is a broken heart and a contrite spirit.

Alpha8207 · 06-23-2007, 05:18 PM

Absolutely. Hopefully I'll never be tested on this issue, but my wife and I actually discussed this before marriage. We, in effect, took divorce off the table for any reason. It simply isn't an option and I can tell you it has affected the way we argue and disagree. It's pretty cool actually. I mean when I get all worked up about something I say "Well, we're staying married, so is this really worth all the bunk?" The answer's always 'Nope'.

Again, I know it would be hard, but there are many public examples of this very thing.

lilypad · 06-23-2007, 05:19 PM

I think according to Paul, fraud and adultery are grounds for divorce.

irishmom · 06-23-2007, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alpha8207

Absolutely. Hopefully I'll never be tested on this issue, but my wife and I actually discussed this before marriage. We, in effect, took divorce off the table for any reason. It simply isn't an option and I can tell you it has affected the way we argue and disagree. It's pretty cool actually. I mean when I get all worked up about something I say "Well, we're staying married, so is this really worth all the bunk?" The answer's always 'Nope'.

Again, I know it would be hard, but there are many public examples of this very thing.

Funny you should mention taking divorce off the table...my husband and I had a similar conversation. You are right it does diffuse many things. Of course at times when I feel a little evil I will accidently on purpose leave the yellow pages open to the divorce attorney section...that works wonders as well!

Alpha8207 · 06-23-2007, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by irishmom

Funny you should mention taking divorce off the table...my husband and I had a similar conversation. You are right it does diffuse many things. Of course at times when I feel a little evil I will accidently on purpose leave the yellow pages open to the divorce attorney section...that works wonders as well!

HA! I'll have to try that!

dreameyes · 06-23-2007, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilypad

I think according to Paul, fraud and adultery are grounds for divorce.

Well no offense to Paul but I think the one we should be looking to for advice is Jesus.

jco · 06-23-2007, 05:27 PM

I have to echo what Alpha says here. This is in James 4:

4 You adulterous people! [3] Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.

I have a quote in the Bible next to this verse, and it reads, "You're married to me, but in bed with the world." We who are Christians have a commitment to God, yet we still sin. I hope that for all of us, we sin less and radically change our actions when becoming a believer... the Bible has much to say about our actions following our belief, but still, He forgives us. We can be renewed in our relationship with Him even after our "adultery".

If God almighty can forgive it, who am I not to?

MontanaGuy · 06-23-2007, 05:31 PM

If someone is thinking about cheating on their spouse there's already something seriously wrong with their marriage and I think we need to recognize the fact that sometimes certain couples should never have gotten married in the first place. It was a mistake. Often when people are young and inexperienced in life they do make serious mistakes and sadly, marriage is often one of them. Things become much more difficult when there's children, no question about it, and often couples will try to patch things up for the sake of their kids. That only makes sense because you wouldn't want to make the lives of your own children more difficult. However, if a husband or wife is really only interested in themselves and aren't that bothered by cheating on their spouse I think that divorce is probably the right choice.