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CW: God, thank you for taking some time out of your busy schedule to answer some questions.
God: My pleasure.
CW: Well, lets's start at the beginning. Your holy book, which many of your followers believe to be divinely inspired by you and without error says that you created humans on the sixth day. It specifically states that you created man and woman: "Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground." (Gen. 1:26 NIV). Remind me in a future interview to ask you who you were referring to when you spoke about making man in "our" image if you are supposed to be the only God. Anyway, I notice that ruling or holding dominion over "weaker" creatures seems to be a recurring theme with you and it starts right here in Genesis chapter one. It states above that you created man, to rule over the fish, birds, and livestock. Weren't these animals which were supposedly part of a perfect creation able to take care of themselves?
God: Well you see, that is exactly what creating man in my image means. As you will see, I enjoy pulling my weight around and keeping my creation in a constant state of fear and subjugation and so I figured since man can never take it out on me because I am too powerful and could squash him like a bug or more appropriately, drown them all but eight, I thought what a better way to take out frustrations than to have "lesser" creatures like animals to kick around.
CW: Okay then, God. Well at least you seemed to have equality in mind when you created Adam and Eve because you created them together on the same day: "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground." (Gen. 1:27,28. NIV) But I am just a bit confused. The above verses would have one believe that Adam and Eve were created at the same time, from the same stuff and were of equal value. But if we go to the next chapter of Genesis we have a slightly different creation narrative and here there seems to be a bit less equality in the creation of the first couple. Genesis 2:18 begins with you lamenting the fact that it is not good for a man to be alone with out a "suitable helper." The story then goes on to give an account of you presenting Adam with all of the animals to which you had him name, but non of these animals were considered as a suitable helper for him. Incidentally, God, you being omniscient and all, wouldn't you have known in advance that an animal would not make a "suitable helper" for a man?
God: Ah well, I ah......
CW: Don't worry, God, I won't put you on the spot for that one right now. Anyway, back to Genesis 2. Let's look at verse 21 and 22: "So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man." (Gen. 2:21,22. NIV) Here we don't have Adam and Eve created at the same time, but we have Adam first, and then after discovering that the animals weren't suitable helpers, you put Adam to sleep and took a rib from him and used it to create Eve. Then after waking Adam, you presented him with Eve. There is a sense of hierarchy in this account that wasn't present at the first account in chapter one. In fact it is more than a sense. Let's read verse 23: The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,for she was taken out of man." Adam named her wo-man because she was taken from man. To name something, is to own it, or at least to claim authority over it. God, couldn't you have done better than this? Wasn't it enough for man to have authority over animals? Now you want him to have authority over other human beings as well?
God: Well, I am a male you see. I am always addressed as He. Upon reconsideration, it just seemed fitting that the male should be the authority. Besides, I wanted to make sure that my creation schema would guarantee a model for the development of other authoritative systems such as states. How could that happen if I had made perfect equality from the beginning?
CW: Well indeed you are correct, your schema has indeed been used as a model for many forms of authoritarianism and oppression. I guess if that was indeed your goal, then I guess your creation was a success. Well that is all the time we have today, God. Thank you so much and I hope we can get together again for future interviews.
I like the part where he gets all mad because some guy ate an apple so he doomed all humanity to an eternity of suffering in hell (unless you believe god's son killed himself.)
This must have made you feel great, eh? How sad...
Sad for you because it is true, yes.
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