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I can tell you right now I haven't fit into any group (that I'm aware of, anyway) my entire life. Growing up, I wasn't 'jock' even though I did play some sports decently. I wasn't 'geek' even though I was a very good student. I wasn't 'popular' by a long shot. I had what I term "aquaintances" - people I would speak with or associate with at a particular location (school or church) but not "friends" because we didn't do anything outside of that particular location.
And I find it odd because I'm a type of person who wants to belong to a group. I thought that's what church-folk were for - like minded people who could sustain a friendship-type relationship. However, that hasn't materialized to date and I've been in the same Baptist church for ~ 20 yrs. I'm involved in the church; I'm a member, attend service, do van duty. Again, it's more acquaintances than friends.
Now, I take some responsiblity for this because I admit I hold back some. I worry what others will think of me, my personality, my habits (good or bad). For example, our church is large so they have small groups. I don't join because you have to host a meeting on a rotating basis at your home. So I worry, what will they think of me because of my home or my ... (small bombshell to all you folks reading this so prepare yourselves ) ... smoking. I'm afraid I will be 'disowned' or looked down upon because of that. It's already happened with one of our associate pastors. They all know I smoke, but he threw it in my face and used it to "attack" me in a debate we had about evolution. So rather than suffer total rejection from other Christians who I have the most in common with, I settle for acquaintances, whether religious or any other shade of belief.
The closest people in my life are my family and extended family. I have really no friends outside of my family circle. Granted, it's a large circle, but limited. There are times I wish I had adult friends to do things with, but I'll take what I have, which now includes some great folks from this very forum. (see, distance )
I'm not sure exactly who you are speaking of or the context, but I must say that the Truth of the Bible is The Truth. So while I will agree there's a right way and a wrong way to get a message across, if you compromise the Word, there's nothing left to stand on.
Just a quick thought......
Nobody came to mind when I made that statement.
And most of the word, which is the Bible, was not compromised.
Location: Somewhere along the path to where I'd like to be.
2,180 posts, read 5,420,180 times
Reputation: 829
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alpha8207
I understand WCRob, but maybe it's not the fact that you are associating with Christians but rather the Christians you are associating with.
Well, perhaps. But first impressions are usually the strongest, and longest lasting. Kinda like when you touch a hot stove. It's not always hot, but if it is the first time you ever touch it, and you burn yourself, it usually makes you shy about ever wanting to touch it again.
I realize this isn't the appropriate place to talk about this, and it's not my intention to hijack the thread. But I simply have a hard time trusting people - especially Christians.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alpha8207
The New Testament teaches us to be in fellowship with one another, love one another, help one another, encourage one another, hold one another accountable, pray for one another....you get the picture.....I wish I knew you in RL, you'd certainly be welcome where me and my Christian friends are.
Thanks. I appreciate that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by GCSTroop
Well thanks Alpha, likewise, you're growing on me too. I know what you mean by "religion sucks" but one thing this board has allowed me to do is understand that not every Christian I come across is going to try and throw a bible in my face, tell me I'm going to hell, and then call me a heretic. I think one's opinions are typically formed by their best and worst experiences and nothing in between. So, I haven't had a whole lot of good experiences with Christians and it could be a bit my fault too. And I understand that. If I were to really think hard I can remember having civil conversations with people who were religious/believers and it was nothing more than civil but it wasn't extraordinary so you tend to forget it. Meanwhile, I can still remember the woman in the bookstore explaining to me why I should be reading the Bible and not Dawkins' blasphemy so it's those kind of things that really leave you steamed.
You know, GCSTroop, I will soon be acquiring a nephew (my niece is getting married in September), and he is an atheist. Or is it an agnostic? One of those two......he doesn't know if he believes in God or not. So whatever that makes him. Anyway, he's a really sweet guy. (Hey, he's going to be my nephew - I can use the word "sweet" to refer to him.) He's one of the nicest guys I know - very level headed, very responsible, would do whatever he could for you, and he loves my niece unconditionally - who happens to believe in God. So not all you unbelievers are bad! I could probably be friends with them to a certain degree. The key thing is I would not be able to share something that was very important to me, and I wouldn't want my beliefs questioned. That's all. My experience with atheists is that most of them want to refer to my beliefs as "fairy tales", and that more than anything turns me off to them. But if an atheist can respect that I believe in God, and not mock me for it or insult me because of it, then I get along with them fine.
Ya got one right here, mams, ya go one right here.
Thanks, Alpha, that's good to know. The same goes for you, too, and others on here (they know who they are too many to list) Maybe I need to update my definition of "friend"; what do you think?
Location: Somewhere along the path to where I'd like to be.
2,180 posts, read 5,420,180 times
Reputation: 829
Quote:
Originally Posted by mams1559
For example, our church is large so they have small groups. I don't join because you have to host a meeting on a rotating basis at your home. So I worry, what will they think of me because of my home ....
You know, that's an interesting point I've noticed. Do these small groups exclude you if you can't host a meeting at your home? I mean, what if you live in a tiny apartment? I used to live in a small efficiency - with literally no place to sit anyone. How would someone living in such a small place host a meeting? Would they not let you into the small group if you can't?
You know, that's an interesting point I've noticed. Do these small groups exclude you if you can't host a meeting at your home? I mean, what if you live in a tiny apartment? I used to live in a small efficiency - with literally no place to sit anyone. How would someone living in such a small place host a meeting? Would they not let you into the small group if you can't?
We had a small home and babies at home so there was no way I could host our bible study so they just skipped my home. It wasn't a problem. I think the reason they have this is so that the burden is not on one person alone (having the house clean, or spouse put out of certain parts of the house, etc) and it's a shared responsibility.
This is such a good thread and yet at the same time makes me sad. I really hate to think people feel allinated especially because of the way a group of Christians acted in their lives. That to me is a sad day in the life of the Body of Christ. To me that is everything we should not be. I guess that is why sometimes I agree with fellow Christians on this board and sometimes I think people get to caught up in the fine tunning. The big picture gets missed.
I have a group of distant relatives who are, in my opinion, over the top. They make others in the family feel bad about themselves and that they can never live up. There is nothing loving, comforting, or accepting in this. I feel like Christ met others where they were, yet we humans seem to have a really hard time doing that. We are supposed to as Christians love one another. How can you spread the good word if you are only talking to those who you see in the same circle the same time. I don't know, it just kind of bumms me out.
I can tell you right now I haven't fit into any group (that I'm aware of, anyway) my entire life. Growing up, I wasn't 'jock' even though I did play some sports decently. I wasn't 'geek' even though I was a very good student. I wasn't 'popular' by a long shot. I had what I term "aquaintances" - people I would speak with or associate with at a particular location (school or church) but not "friends" because we didn't do anything outside of that particular location.
And I find it odd because I'm a type of person who wants to belong to a group. I thought that's what church-folk were for - like minded people who could sustain a friendship-type relationship. However, that hasn't materialized to date and I've been in the same Baptist church for ~ 20 yrs. I'm involved in the church; I'm a member, attend service, do van duty. Again, it's more acquaintances than friends.
Now, I take some responsiblity for this because I admit I hold back some. I worry what others will think of me, my personality, my habits (good or bad). For example, our church is large so they have small groups. I don't join because you have to host a meeting on a rotating basis at your home. So I worry, what will they think of me because of my home or my ... (small bombshell to all you folks reading this so prepare yourselves ) ... smoking. I'm afraid I will be 'disowned' or looked down upon because of that. It's already happened with one of our associate pastors. They all know I smoke, but he threw it in my face and used it to "attack" me in a debate we had about evolution. So rather than suffer total rejection from other Christians who I have the most in common with, I settle for acquaintances, whether religious or any other shade of belief.
The closest people in my life are my family and extended family. I have really no friends outside of my family circle. Granted, it's a large circle, but limited. There are times I wish I had adult friends to do things with, but I'll take what I have, which now includes some great folks from this very forum. (see, distance )
Oh, mams, I feel the need for my imaginary "big sigh" emoticon right here. You have such a lot to offer. I understand what you're saying about getting involved at church, but I would so encourage you to do so. I understand, too, what you are saying about the smoking thing. One of my former pastors used to say something like this: We're all overcoming something and if we say we're not, we're probably overcoming pride! I have attended large churches most of my adult life and most all of them have had a small group ministry which we have been involved with including having the groups at our house. This is such a good opportunity to make friends. We are blessed to have several couples that we are really close with and they all came out of our relationships in small groups. These are people you could call up at 3:00am if need be. And they know they could call you. It's really worth investing in.
It is a blessing that you have your family you can be close with. I am an only child and my husband is only marginally close with his family. So maybe we just need friends more, but I would just really encourage you to make the effort to get to know people at your church. It is sooo worth it.
You know, that's an interesting point I've noticed. Do these small groups exclude you if you can't host a meeting at your home? I mean, what if you live in a tiny apartment? I used to live in a small efficiency - with literally no place to sit anyone. How would someone living in such a small place host a meeting? Would they not let you into the small group if you can't?
From what I understand, they wouldn't forbid you joining if you couldn't accommodate the group due to apartment size or, say, taking care of someone elderly in the home and the group would disrupt that person. They'd just leave you out of the host rotation. Instead, I don't know, make you bring refreshments instead? <= just joshing
But they know where I live and I don't have that excuse And I don't lie, so can't "create" and excuse.
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) ... smoking. I'm afraid I will be 'disowned' or looked down upon because of that. It's already happened with one of our associate pastors. They all know I smoke, but he threw it in my face and used it to "attack" me in a debate we had about evolution. So rather than suffer total rejection from other Christians who I have the most in common with, I settle for acquaintances, whether religious or any other shade of belief.
too many to list) Maybe I need to update my definition of "friend"; what do you think?
