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The things I liked doing actually quite counter productive to some of social interaction I seek. Most of things I like doing are quite geekish. Like watching Anime, designing roads/highways, and building computers. Well I used purse these activist and soon enough I found myself isolated from my peers and usually made fun of and being called a geek. One of reasons I never managed to get girlfriend yet (I am 25!).
I recently almost stopped these activities and tried to get involved in social activities even though I don't really enjoy them. Like I got sport lounge/bars even though I don't like sports and I don't drink. I would really like to be one cool guys in group but honestly I just HATE pop culture most people seem to be into these days.
It seems to me that you are just too goal oriented?
Most people who get depressed are like this, they suddenly discover that they care too much, or realise that they don't care at all.
I'm curious; do you know the difference between gaming and playing?
I think this first time in my life I haven't had any major goals to accomplish. I finished college, got a good job, and even bought job. Right now, I am just working on getting promotion and graduate degree. It almost seems like am checking of all goals in my life. However, I have yet find a bigger meaning or purpose of life beyond this.
What is left in my life seem simple enough. Work, get promoted, retire, and maybe get marriage and have kids along the way. But is really any sort of real meaning to all of this? Seems like I am just drudging along life path without an overall meaning.
I will mention I am a not so religious Muslim. Many religious people may say living a good life and going to heaven is purpose. But that really doesn't seem all that great to me, since I think the life here on earth needs to have purpose. Some people say it is all about helping others. However, if life is all about helping your fellow men, Earth almost looks like hell to me. People are living trouble life through crime, war and poverty and usually all of this is caused by other people.
I just feel like I need to find my own philosophy in life in order to be happy. Right now life seem like almost not worth living except to indulge in pleasure, like eating tons of tasty food!.
This is a good and big question. The easy answer has always been personal gratification. Sensual pleasures, riches and acquisitions. The hollywood myth that wealth will only ruin your life and make you miserable has some merit.
I see people wo come into a lot of money and really have no idea what to do with it do seem to end up with a load of expensive rubbish they don't need and no goals. They really do seem to drift.
It is very tempting to take the easy option and let other people provide a meaning for you. As a not so religious muslim you could easily find a meaning in muslim culture and belief, but it would be theirs, not yours.
I found that, once I accepted that there was no meaning in life and (given that I didn't fancy suicide) it was entirely down to me to decide what meanings I wanted, I let human curiosity guide me. I wanted to know. I wanted to know truth and facts and I still do. It is the principal 'meaning' in my life.
I do value sensual pleasures, weath and acquisitions. What I need, not what I think others would expect me to do and acquire. I don't waste my limited time or resources on stuff that other people value but I don't. Why should I?
Ok, this sounds like it's all about myself. But I'm wondering whether the same reasoning might clarify what is meaningful to you because you consider it to be meaningful.
I'm not just my body.
It is true that when I've died my body (the parts that aren't used for organ donation) will decay, but that isn't me anymore.
Oh? Who is it?
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It seems to me that you are just too goal oriented?
I'm curious; do you know the difference between gaming and playing?
