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I've always believed in God and his words, I've always been involved with the church and became a christian at a young age. So many things have happened in my life and i don't understand why. My mother died when i was 13, and i accepted it and moved on. it still affected my life but i still trust that in some way it was needed. Then i had a daughter, she has a disability, and if anyone knows, it is a difficult and hard thing to go through, because the thoughts and dreams of having a perfect child become a task of accepting things that she can do and being happy with how things are. So i accepted it, I love my child but often wonder out of all the things in the world..., so for years i've held on to the love of a boy well man now, that i dated in highschool, my highschool sweetheart. I never stopped loving him and just knew he was meant to be with me and it was those thoughts and hopes that kept me sane. I prayed for him, believed in him, loved him even though we were miles apart, had relationships and children with other people. Well anyway, One day he called me and said everything i prayed he would say one day that we would be together, get married and the whole nine. I thank God for answering my prayers, was so happy. And then things began to change and he admitted he wasn't ready to be with me and that he wanted to take things slow. I feel really hurt like why would God give me these feelings to love someone so much that wouldn't love me back. I have never loved anyone like i did him and i just feel sad and lost, Like everything that i ever wanted is constantly being taken away from me. I try to justify it by saying well maybe God just wants me to be his friend and he was never meant to be mine I've waited so patiently and prayed so much. So then why dangle these feelings for him in my life. I just don't understand if God loves me so much and wants me to be happy then why can't we be together.
I'm sure someone will come along and offer scripture of one sort of another that is designed to console you and make you happy with your situation.
But I find this is the worst kind of Christian faith. The kind that says "If I do everything I need to do, why doesn't God love me enough to _____________" (fill in the blank).......and when it doesn't happen they way YOU think it should, you are angry and hurt.......understandably so, after all, your God abandoned you.
YOU must take charge of your life. Bad things happen to a lot of people. NONE of it is "deserved." It just does, randomly, without bias or prejudice. make a decision to help yourself achieve what you want.......do not depend on a "God" somewhere. It is you and you alone. Your friends can help, but to have a friend you must first be a friend.
I've always believed in God and his words, I've always been involved with the church and became a christian at a young age. So many things have happened in my life and i don't understand why. My mother died when i was 13, and i accepted it and moved on. it still affected my life but i still trust that in some way it was needed. Then i had a daughter, she has a disability, and if anyone knows, it is a difficult and hard thing to go through, because the thoughts and dreams of having a perfect child become a task of accepting things that she can do and being happy with how things are. So i accepted it, I love my child but often wonder out of all the things in the world..., so for years i've held on to the love of a boy well man now, that i dated in highschool, my highschool sweetheart. I never stopped loving him and just knew he was meant to be with me and it was those thoughts and hopes that kept me sane. I prayed for him, believed in him, loved him even though we were miles apart, had relationships and children with other people. Well anyway, One day he called me and said everything i prayed he would say one day that we would be together, get married and the whole nine. I thank God for answering my prayers, was so happy. And then things began to change and he admitted he wasn't ready to be with me and that he wanted to take things slow. I feel really hurt like why would God give me these feelings to love someone so much that wouldn't love me back. I have never loved anyone like i did him and i just feel sad and lost, Like everything that i ever wanted is constantly being taken away from me. I try to justify it by saying well maybe God just wants me to be his friend and he was never meant to be mine I've waited so patiently and prayed so much. So then why dangle these feelings for him in my life. I just don't understand if God loves me so much and wants me to be happy then why can't we be together.
Looking back from the vantage point of 61 years, I can see things now which I did not understand at the time.
My life, like yours and everyone else's, has been a journey of pain, disappointment, fractured relationships, seemingly random events, unplanned detours, lost dreams, joys and loves, successes and failures; the whole gamut of human existance.
And, being a believer, I've asked those "why" questions a thousand times and never gotten the answer I wanted, when I wanted it. But, I knew all along that nothing in this universe can happen without God either directing it or allowing it to happen. If anything, including the details of my life, is out of His control, He isn't the God He claims to be and not worthy of my worship and service. But, it DID seem to be out of His control and I wrestled with that mightily. There were times when my faith hung by the most slender of threads, but I never quite stopped believing altogether.
Now, I can see it more clearly and can offer you this: I won't go into details about HOW I came to understand (it's a long story and would bore you), but there isn't the slightest doubt in my mind now that God had a purpose for all that and I know what it was. He was crafting my personality, weaving a tapestry of my life and genetics to make me usable for His service right now, doing the things He's got me doing. Without all that having happened to me, I would not today be the person I am and would not be serving Him in the capacity I find myself doing right now. Literally, I would not be suitable were it not for all those times I wondered why. I could explain it more completely, but it would only serve to invite more of the ridicule this post will already bring, so if you'd like to know more, PM me. I have no intention of disputing it with anyone.
The point is that you either trust God with your future, or you don't. If you hang onto the trust and surrender your will to His, somewhere down the road you'll find yourself in exactly the same place I am; doing a work for the Lord which you never foresaw and could not have planned for. But HE saw it and HE planned for it and your life experiences are the vehicle for creating the perfect worker in the field He wants you to work in.
I've always believed in God and his words, I've always been involved with the church and became a christian at a young age. So many things have happened in my life and i don't understand why. My mother died when i was 13, and i accepted it and moved on. it still affected my life but i still trust that in some way it was needed. Then i had a daughter, she has a disability, and if anyone knows, it is a difficult and hard thing to go through, because the thoughts and dreams of having a perfect child become a task of accepting things that she can do and being happy with how things are. So i accepted it, I love my child but often wonder out of all the things in the world..., so for years i've held on to the love of a boy well man now, that i dated in highschool, my highschool sweetheart. I never stopped loving him and just knew he was meant to be with me and it was those thoughts and hopes that kept me sane. I prayed for him, believed in him, loved him even though we were miles apart, had relationships and children with other people. Well anyway, One day he called me and said everything i prayed he would say one day that we would be together, get married and the whole nine. I thank God for answering my prayers, was so happy. And then things began to change and he admitted he wasn't ready to be with me and that he wanted to take things slow. I feel really hurt like why would God give me these feelings to love someone so much that wouldn't love me back. I have never loved anyone like i did him and i just feel sad and lost, Like everything that i ever wanted is constantly being taken away from me. I try to justify it by saying well maybe God just wants me to be his friend and he was never meant to be mine I've waited so patiently and prayed so much. So then why dangle these feelings for him in my life. I just don't understand if God loves me so much and wants me to be happy then why can't we be together.
Maybe that has nothing to do with God wanting but your ego wanting something.
It's much easier to blame god for giving you the feelings and not making them happen than looking at your own ego.
Focus on the good that you have instead of what you do not have. Focus on the beauty of your child not on the disability.
You are a loving caring person and by birth deserve someone who loves and cares for you back. so do not waste your time and energy on those who do not.
Do not waste your time pining over someone that does not want to be with you.
Be the love that you want to have. Don't waste it on someone who does not want it.
I'm sure someone will come along and offer scripture of one sort of another that is designed to console you and make you happy with your situation.
But I find this is the worst kind of Christian faith. The kind that says "If I do everything I need to do, why doesn't God love me enough to _____________" (fill in the blank).......and when it doesn't happen they way YOU think it should, you are angry and hurt.......understandably so, after all, your God abandoned you.
YOU must take charge of your life. Bad things happen to a lot of people. NONE of it is "deserved." It just does, randomly, without bias or prejudice. make a decision to help yourself achieve what you want.......do not depend on a "God" somewhere. It is you and you alone. Your friends can help, but to have a friend you must first be a friend.
Don't "bet on God" He will always let you down.
This one works for me: "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger." Don't think it's from the Bible, but I could be mistaken.
I've always believed in God and his words, I've always been involved with the church and became a christian at a young age. So many things have happened in my life and i don't understand why. My mother died when i was 13, and i accepted it and moved on. it still affected my life but i still trust that in some way it was needed. Then i had a daughter, she has a disability, and if anyone knows, it is a difficult and hard thing to go through, because the thoughts and dreams of having a perfect child become a task of accepting things that she can do and being happy with how things are. So i accepted it, I love my child but often wonder out of all the things in the world..., so for years i've held on to the love of a boy well man now, that i dated in highschool, my highschool sweetheart. I never stopped loving him and just knew he was meant to be with me and it was those thoughts and hopes that kept me sane. I prayed for him, believed in him, loved him even though we were miles apart, had relationships and children with other people. Well anyway, One day he called me and said everything i prayed he would say one day that we would be together, get married and the whole nine. I thank God for answering my prayers, was so happy. And then things began to change and he admitted he wasn't ready to be with me and that he wanted to take things slow. I feel really hurt like why would God give me these feelings to love someone so much that wouldn't love me back. I have never loved anyone like i did him and i just feel sad and lost, Like everything that i ever wanted is constantly being taken away from me. I try to justify it by saying well maybe God just wants me to be his friend and he was never meant to be mine I've waited so patiently and prayed so much. So then why dangle these feelings for him in my life. I just don't understand if God loves me so much and wants me to be happy then why can't we be together.
Because god probably doesn't exist and as long as you color your thinking with what you think god's plans are for you, you'll probably always not understand the way things in life really are.
My suggestion is, forget about god, analyze what your circumstances are, identify what you need to do, come up with a plan to get there, implement steps in your plan, measure your progress, and achieve your goals.
Because even in love there is free will.
Just because you love someone does this mean that that person should love you back; love only asks, it does not demand.
FYI love can't make a person do something against his will.
I've always believed in God and his words, I've always been involved with the church and became a christian at a young age. So many things have happened in my life and i don't understand why. My mother died when i was 13, and i accepted it and moved on. it still affected my life but i still trust that in some way it was needed. Then i had a daughter, she has a disability, and if anyone knows, it is a difficult and hard thing to go through, because the thoughts and dreams of having a perfect child become a task of accepting things that she can do and being happy with how things are. So i accepted it, I love my child but often wonder out of all the things in the world..., so for years i've held on to the love of a boy well man now, that i dated in highschool, my highschool sweetheart. I never stopped loving him and just knew he was meant to be with me and it was those thoughts and hopes that kept me sane. I prayed for him, believed in him, loved him even though we were miles apart, had relationships and children with other people. Well anyway, One day he called me and said everything i prayed he would say one day that we would be together, get married and the whole nine. I thank God for answering my prayers, was so happy. And then things began to change and he admitted he wasn't ready to be with me and that he wanted to take things slow. I feel really hurt like why would God give me these feelings to love someone so much that wouldn't love me back. I have never loved anyone like i did him and i just feel sad and lost, Like everything that i ever wanted is constantly being taken away from me. I try to justify it by saying well maybe God just wants me to be his friend and he was never meant to be mine I've waited so patiently and prayed so much. So then why dangle these feelings for him in my life. I just don't understand if God loves me so much and wants me to be happy then why can't we be together.
I have, many times, over the years questioned life and its meaning for me. I've read books in search of answers and experienced the ups and downs of every day life wondering, why do bad things happen to good people. I eventually came to realize that I was living life with "Expectations". I had a fantasy of how things should be but in reality the world doesn't owe me anything, I am responsible for my own happiness. If I find love in a companion or acquire material things, it's a bonus but ultimately I need to be happy with myself first. Even as hard as I tried to hold true to that thought I still would feel down. I would then take a moment to remember and understand that it's my Ego taking over...If someone doesn't love me back it's not about me it's about them and their inability to return the feelings. Not everyone is compatible, it's a natural part of life. God gives us free volition and sometimes that means the other person doesn't choose to be a part of our life. Sending good wishes your way and I hope you find happiness
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Because even in love there is free will.
