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Old 09-23-2011, 04:34 PM
 
Location: Western NC
651 posts, read 1,246,231 times
Reputation: 497

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Quote:
Originally Posted by mikeyking View Post
As I sit typing this, contemplating wether to open a bottle of wine - A growing sense of futility is creeping over me - I sense I have not experienced any true emotional depths or real depth of experience - just bland mundane experiences - the new job, the new car, the marriage, the nights out - all become old. I want the next high - that feeling you get when you go travelling when your 18, and everything is new, that sense of wonder and awe - the sense of optimism for the future.

On this forum - i discussed my experience my experience with Mormons, and the good feeling I got, that feeling of awakening, - but I just can't take reading scriptures seriously of any religion.

have read plenty of the new age/self development books- but again never thought they were believable - and they just make me sick to read the stuff, and can't bear people who are into it. The whole "goal setting" thing for every aspect of your life is for bland corporate types.

I feel like life is passing me by - I want something, but what I don't know.

Career/Corporate lifestyle is generally boring and frustrating - but bearable, althought I am far being a "career" type, the environments sickens me at times.
Always flirting with the idea of a Business, but lacking action and the real "knowhow".
Relationship - Stable, but I don't think a new one is the answer. Perhaps time to start a family to care for someone else.

Studying something new - possibly since I spend large amounts of reading
A Few Friends, never been great at making lots of friends
A few hobbies, like football, running - and marathon running(although thats slipping)

All I know is I can't continue with this rut and lacking purpose, and point to my life. I just find people who are perfectly satisfied with job, tv programmes just incredibly boring and irritating. Has ANYONE got a sense higher purpose rather than dull conformity.

I need Real Purpose, Real Feeling, Real Emotion - not mundane corporate "passion" for your career, or hobbies that your not that interested in - something that makes me want to jump out of bed in the morning. My life is lacking any real excitement.
Your post shows several indicators of depression: futility or hopelessness, numbness or not feeling emotion, less interest or enjoyment in activities and irritation. You might want to be evaluated by a doctor and try some of the other suggestions that have been made.
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Old 09-23-2011, 04:46 PM
 
1,081 posts, read 1,702,669 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maia160 View Post
Your post shows several indicators of depression: futility or hopelessness, numbness or not feeling emotion, less interest or enjoyment in activities and irritation. You might want to be evaluated by a doctor and try some of the other suggestions that have been made.
Its not depression - Sometimes futility or hopelessness is the correct response. I don't want anti depressants - waste of time, chemical differences don't change the fundamentals, or some sort of positive thinking treatment - they won't work. I like my "negative thinking" its my reality check.

its about Real Highs - not denying reality - finding truth, wisdom, higher purpose and meaning to life. Not some artificial way of moderating your mind with medical treatment.
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Old 09-23-2011, 04:49 PM
 
1,738 posts, read 731,848 times
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I know exactly what you're saying Mikeyking. I don't know how old you are, but to me that feeling only gets worse as I've aged. I think it's because while life is fascinating and can be exciting and the world is a beautiful, wondrous place-- there is also the everyday aspect of usual, mundane living. Ie: get up, shower, go to work, eat the same old, same old for lunch with the same people day in and day out, go home, dinner, dishes, watch TV (or whatever it is that you do next), go to bed--- repeat.... BOR-ING!!! I think the secret is the planning and taking of trips or activities, even if just mini trips or activities. Having a goal or something to plan and look forward to every day that is a diversion from the usual is the secret. For myself- it's the trips. For others it's the learning of a new skill (playing an instrument, woodworking, cooking, volunteering, etc.) Even if you don't have a "passion", per se--- maybe you will develop one if you start exploring exciting or interesting new activities to spice/shake up your life a little??

Unfortunately, I think this sense of "boredom" or feeling the need for something "more" in people is only going to get worse and worse as our senses are bombarded with an overabundance of stimulation from a very early age. It's like we are constantly in search of the next big thrill/thing, as opposed to the days when life revolved around mere existence-- the pursuit of food and shelter. We have too much spare time on our hands and frankly, we have it TOO good, and we only want more as we become increasingly blasť about the excess time, luxuries, and opportunities that we do have. I don't know how to "fix" it other than to start "unplugging" future generations from so much over stimulation right off the bat (TV, video games, computers, cell phones...) Also, by not trying to fill our children's lives with endless activities and play dates so that they come to expect constant outside stimulation. I really do worry about future generations if even my (not TOTALLY electronically immersed) generation is already suffering the effects of later life information/activity overload. What will kids who have grown up with constant electronic stimulation/instant gratification feel like as they mature???
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Old 09-23-2011, 04:52 PM
 
Location: Western NC
651 posts, read 1,246,231 times
Reputation: 497
Actually, I retract the part where you should follow the other advice given and strongly urge you to get checked out by a doctor. If you are suffering from a medical problem, such as depression (or something else), no amount of self reflection or just getting up and 'doing something' will help. Depression is an illness just like any other illness; nobody would urge a cancer patient to reflect on their cancer or take up activities to make yourself feel better. You need evaluation by a medical professional first, treatment if a diagnosis is made and after that I would consider the rest of the advice.

I'm not diagnosing you as I'm not a doctor but I think it is a good idea for you to at least rule out a medical condition (and I include psychological issues with medical) since your post shows several symptoms.
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Old 09-23-2011, 04:57 PM
 
4,480 posts, read 4,224,434 times
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Music does it for me.

"that feeling you get when you go travelling when your 18, and everything is new, that sense of wonder and awe"

I get that going to see as much live music as I can. I constantly search out new stuff to listen to. I'm at a show at least once a week. I get that "high" every time.
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Old 09-23-2011, 04:57 PM
 
711 posts, read 1,282,717 times
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Live with humility. Look forward. Look inward. You can change everything around you and still have the same feelings. Remember.....wherever you go, you take you with you.
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Old 09-23-2011, 04:59 PM
 
Location: Western NC
651 posts, read 1,246,231 times
Reputation: 497
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikeyking View Post
Its not depression - Sometimes futility or hopelessness is the correct response. I don't want anti depressants - waste of time, chemical differences don't change the fundamentals, or some sort of positive thinking treatment - they won't work. I like my "negative thinking" its my reality check.
I used to have the same feelings as you. I also thought being negative was a "reality check" and even said as much to a doctor. I resisted medications and did not want to label myself as depressed. But, from my first hand experience of battling this personally and helping family members with this issue, I can tell you that treatment does help.

At any rate, as I said earlier, I cannot diagnose you. I'm just letting you know that you are showing several warning signs and I hope that you will at least get checked out. Good luck; I'll be out of town all weekend but will check back on your posts when I get back.
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Old 09-23-2011, 05:31 PM
 
7,811 posts, read 5,067,840 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mikeyking View Post
I sense I have not experienced any true emotional depths

....

I need Real Purpose, Real Feeling, Real Emotion
One thing worth pointing out is you are already experiencing emotional depth and feelings. The world is full of millions of people who do not even spare a thought for the kind of things you are thinking. They are happy with the dullness, the security, the conformity, the regularity and the mundane.

Your feelings come with depression and concern I am sure, but recognise also that there is a certain break from the norm and freedom which you have already attained merely by the thoughts you are thinking at this time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mikeyking View Post
have read plenty of the new age/self development books- but again never thought they were believable
Atheist, sceptic and Spiritualist Sam Harris recommends Vipassana as an interesting path to self development that asks nothing of you in the form of unbelievable claim, unattainable promises, magic or woo. He describes it as being like "Buddhism for Secularists". Maybe something in that literature will strike a chord with you. He defends the notion of spirituality and the books he recommends are:

Mindfulness in Plain English, by Bhante Gunaratana
The Experience of Insight, by Joseph Goldstein
Wherever You Go, There You Are, by Jon Kabat-Zinn.

On top of that I would greatly recommend the "free help" websites. I can not think of the links now but if you ask I can go and find some examples. They are sites where people put up notices about help they need, and they pay you in the form of meals, board and more. Examples I have seen are things like "Farmer seeks help building a cow shed, will pay you back with fresh crops, some fresh meat and some chicken eggs and some farmhouse home cooked meals".

I have seen many people obtain amazing levels of satisfaction from engaging in such work. Especially people who, say, work 9 to 5 at a desk in an office and suddenly they get the chance to earn food and more by getting down to actual physical labour building sheds and digging up seasonal crops.

In short it is worth actively asking and experimenting with what one wants from life rather than wondering what life has to offer in a more passive expectatory sense.
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Old 09-23-2011, 05:34 PM
 
1,081 posts, read 1,702,669 times
Reputation: 1495
Quote:
Originally Posted by js1mom View Post
I know exactly what you're saying Mikeyking. I don't know how old you are, but to me that feeling only gets worse as I've aged. I think it's because while life is fascinating and can be exciting and the world is a beautiful, wondrous place-- there is also the everyday aspect of usual, mundane living. Ie: get up, shower, go to work, eat the same old, same old for lunch with the same people day in and day out, go home, dinner, dishes, watch TV (or whatever it is that you do next), go to bed--- repeat.... BOR-ING!!! I think the secret is the planning and taking of trips or activities, even if just mini trips or activities. Having a goal or something to plan and look forward to every day that is a diversion from the usual is the secret. For myself- it's the trips. For others it's the learning of a new skill (playing an instrument, woodworking, cooking, volunteering, etc.) Even if you don't have a "passion", per se--- maybe you will develop one if you start exploring exciting or interesting new activities to spice/shake up your life a little??

Unfortunately, I think this sense of "boredom" or feeling the need for something "more" in people is only going to get worse and worse as our senses are bombarded with an overabundance of stimulation from a very early age. It's like we are constantly in search of the next big thrill/thing, as opposed to the days when life revolved around mere existence-- the pursuit of food and shelter. We have too much spare time on our hands and frankly, we have it TOO good, and we only want more as we become increasingly blasť about the excess time, luxuries, and opportunities that we do have. I don't know how to "fix" it other than to start "unplugging" future generations from so much over stimulation right off the bat (TV, video games, computers, cell phones...) Also, by not trying to fill our children's lives with endless activities and play dates so that they come to expect constant outside stimulation. I really do worry about future generations if even my (not TOTALLY electronically immersed) generation is already suffering the effects of later life information/activity overload. What will kids who have grown up with constant electronic stimulation/instant gratification feel like as they mature???

Perhaps another part is the feeling of not really connecting with anyone, except my Partner , not emotional - The fakeness, blandness of people, the artifical nature of "friendships", the being hesitant in opening up and being yourself with others.
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Old 09-23-2011, 05:37 PM
 
2,379 posts, read 2,608,917 times
Reputation: 1191
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikeyking View Post
Its not depression - Sometimes futility or hopelessness is the correct response. I don't want anti depressants - waste of time, chemical differences don't change the fundamentals, or some sort of positive thinking treatment - they won't work. I like my "negative thinking" its my reality check.

its about Real Highs - not denying reality - finding truth, wisdom, higher purpose and meaning to life. Not some artificial way of moderating your mind with medical treatment.
I agree.
We all have ups & downs & it's not necessarily a bad thing. At times, most could be diagnosed with depression or anxiety. Sometimes, we're quick to suggest a Dr. as if they're God... maybe because we're paranoid of being sued for not, or paranoid of shame if they attempted suicide. Popping a pill to cover pain may be best in times of trauma, but in daily life, it's ignoring important messages physically, mentally &/or behaviorally.

Some say God is in the void - the stillness - awareness of possibilities. As mentioned, we live with overstimulating media & gadets. To appreciate anything, awareness of its opposite is necessary. We need to make time and space for NOTHING, to appreciate Something.
And we need time to reflect on needs - what we want:
Spiritually
Financially
Practically
Physically
Intellectually
Emotionally &
Socially.
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