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Old 09-23-2011, 04:41 PM
 
Location: Florida -
8,250 posts, read 10,017,245 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mikeyking View Post
As I sit typing this, contemplating wether to open a bottle of wine - A growing sense of futility is creeping over me - I sense I have not experienced any true emotional depths or real depth of experience - just bland mundane experiences - the new job, the new car, the marriage, the nights out - all become old. I want the next high - that feeling you get when you go travelling when your 18, and everything is new, that sense of wonder and awe - the sense of optimism for the future.

On this forum - i discussed my experience my experience with Mormons, and the good feeling I got, that feeling of awakening, - but I just can't take reading scriptures seriously of any religion.

have read plenty of the new age/self development books- but again never thought they were believable - and they just make me sick to read the stuff, and can't bear people who are into it. The whole "goal setting" thing for every aspect of your life is for bland corporate types.

I feel like life is passing me by - I want something, but what I don't know.

Career/Corporate lifestyle is generally boring and frustrating - but bearable, althought I am far being a "career" type, the environments sickens me at times.
Always flirting with the idea of a Business, but lacking action and the real "knowhow".
Relationship - Stable, but I don't think a new one is the answer. Perhaps time to start a family to care for someone else.

Studying something new - possibly since I spend large amounts of reading
A Few Friends, never been great at making lots of friends
A few hobbies, like football, running - and marathon running(although thats slipping)

All I know is I can't continue with this rut and lacking purpose, and point to my life. I just find people who are perfectly satisfied with job, tv programmes just incredibly boring and irritating. Has ANYONE got a sense higher purpose rather than dull conformity.

I need Real Purpose, Real Feeling, Real Emotion - not mundane corporate "passion" for your career, or hobbies that your not that interested in - something that makes me want to jump out of bed in the morning. My life is lacking any real excitement.
Your feelings are certainly common in today's world. Many people feel a lack of purpose and a sense of helplessness in a world that only offers the same old 'self-help formulat books' that really don't help anyone.

The reason we don't find purpose within ourselves is because we didn't create ourselves or define our own reason for existence. A very good book, of which the first seven chapters are online, is Rick Warren's "Purpose Driven Life" --

Take a look and discover what many have -- You do have a purpose and a reason for being here ... Purpose Driven Life (http://www.purposedrivenlife.com/en-US/AboutUs/AboutTheBook/FirstSevenChapters.htm - broken link)
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Old 09-23-2011, 04:59 PM
 
1,081 posts, read 1,701,306 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperSoul View Post
I agree.
We all have ups & downs & it's not necessarily a bad thing. At times, most could be diagnosed with depression or anxiety. Sometimes, we're quick to suggest a Dr. as if they're God... maybe because we're paranoid of being sued for not, or paranoid of shame if they attempted suicide. Popping a pill to cover pain may be best in times of trauma, but in daily life, it's ignoring important messages physically, mentally &/or behaviorally.

Some say God is in the void - the stillness - awareness of possibilities. As mentioned, we live with overstimulating media & gadets. To appreciate anything, awareness of its opposite is necessary. We need to make time and space for NOTHING, to appreciate Something.
And we need time to reflect on needs - what we want:
Spiritually
Financially
Practically
Physically
Intellectually
Emotionally &
Socially.
i disagree with this approach of trying to label being Paranoid as being wrong, or anxiety - trying to modify your natural thoughts, or think positive - Maybe they are natural responses to the environment we are - its important to feel the depths of the lows and the highs our emotions, to become stronger.


Stillness of mind- I guess maybe I have ADD, my mind feels like river of thoughts constantly moving, thinking of the past, the future, possibilites, senaarios - fed by tons of reading and thought..

Yes, stillness of mind, clear crystal thoughts, visualisations _ I would love, and peace of mind - thats something you cannot buy.
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Old 09-23-2011, 05:05 PM
 
2,963 posts, read 2,256,851 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mikeyking View Post
i disagree with this approach of trying to label being Paranoid as being wrong, or anxiety - trying to modify your natural thoughts, or think positive - Maybe they are natural responses to the environment we are - its important to feel the depths of the lows and the highs our emotions, to become stronger.


Stillness of mind- I guess maybe I have ADD, my mind feels like river of thoughts constantly moving, thinking of the past, the future, possibilites, senaarios - fed by tons of reading and thought..

Yes, stillness of mind, clear crystal thoughts, visualisations _ I would love, and peace of mind - thats something you cannot buy.
Perhaps there is no purpose to life. You simply consume the earth's resources then you die; is that so bad?
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Old 09-23-2011, 05:12 PM
 
2,963 posts, read 2,256,851 times
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Eat Pray Love.
Eat S--- Die.
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Old 09-23-2011, 05:42 PM
 
3,622 posts, read 4,697,306 times
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If you want to change your life it starts with you. And as easy as it is for me to say that as advice it's really a hard thing to do.

I think there is this inner drive within ourselves to have purpose and meaning...to not feel insignificant. We want to leave our mark...have something to show for our life.

For me the thing that has helped the most is to learn to live and love life in the present. Sure I think it's important to make goals for the future and appreciate the past...but I really believe our happiness is here and now. Learning to be grateful, be kind to others, enjoying the simple things in life. That's what makes life worthwhile.

Do what you love...now. Don't dream of the future...pine or regret the past. Live life like it is....it might be our last. Have fun.
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Old 09-23-2011, 06:15 PM
 
Location: around the way
656 posts, read 902,042 times
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A life spent chasing the highs of "real experience", "real emotion" or whatever is bound to be disappointing. When you don't get what you're after, you get frustrated. When you do get what you want, it only lasts for a little while and then you're hungry for more.

This idea that you have that there's something out there that's always going to make you want to jump out of bed in the morning is a bill of goods you've been sold by Hollywood, Madison Avenue, etc. It's a pleasant myth that works wonders in selling products, so they use it, but the fact is that it's not real. Some days are like that, and some days suck, and a lot more of them are just ok. Once you've gotten that idea clear in your mind, you can be realistic about doing what it takes to make more of the good days and less of the bad.

Do like Nozzferrahtoo says; get outside of yourself and your own boredom for a while by finding some kind of meaningful work to do. Or maybe find a cause in the world you can care about and volunteer for help. Maybe something with the poor and disadvantaged, or working with kids with physical or mental disabilities. You might get some real satisfaction and fulfillment out of it, and at the very least it will help put your problems into perspective.
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Old 09-23-2011, 06:20 PM
 
Location: around the way
656 posts, read 902,042 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mikebnllnb View Post
Music does it for me.

"that feeling you get when you go travelling when your 18, and everything is new, that sense of wonder and awe"

I get that going to see as much live music as I can. I constantly search out new stuff to listen to. I'm at a show at least once a week. I get that "high" every time.
That's a good one, too. Last year, with my daughter's birth impending and the realization that we wouldn't be getting out much at all once she was born, my wife and I decided to make the effort to see every good concert we could afford. Best choice we ever made.
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Old 09-23-2011, 06:23 PM
 
3,622 posts, read 4,697,306 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stavemaster View Post
That's a good one, too. Last year, with my daughter's birth impending and the realization that we wouldn't be getting out much at all once she was born, my wife and I decided to make the effort to see every good concert we could afford. Best choice we ever made.
Nice. I love concerts! See for me I'm finding real life is about "the experience." Going to concert is a perfect example of this...being in the here and now with a collective group enjoying music. It doesn't get better than that....well maybe.
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Old 09-23-2011, 07:46 PM
 
2,379 posts, read 2,607,629 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mikeyking View Post
i disagree with this approach of trying to label being Paranoid as being wrong, or anxiety - trying to modify your natural thoughts, or think positive - Maybe they are natural responses to the environment we are - its important to feel the depths of the lows and the highs our emotions, to become stronger.


Stillness of mind- I guess maybe I have ADD, my mind feels like river of thoughts constantly moving, thinking of the past, the future, possibilites, senaarios - fed by tons of reading and thought..

Yes, stillness of mind, clear crystal thoughts, visualisations _ I would love, and peace of mind - thats something you cannot buy.
Again, I relate a lot with you.
The highs wouldn't be so high without lows - even though the lows are a bummer.
I think too much sometimes too. It is good to realize possibilities, so you can choose the best, but there comes a time to chill out & feel peace.
A river is an excellent metaphor in many ways. I was just sitting on a rock in the middle of one... water rushing with passion & purpose (gravity ) - & if you look up stream, it feels like everything is pouring to you, if you look down-stream, it feels like everything is going from you. They say the Dead Sea is "dead" without life, because it doesn't flow through, but just stops.


As I mentioned, finding passion is something I've been wrestling with for a while, so please excuse me while I sort my thoughts...
It's internal, passionate, serenity.

1. Internal: We may be influenced by external factors, yet much of it depends on our internal interpretation, feelings & response. For most of my life, I've searched for external fulfillment, when it's an internal process. It may take time adjusting, but I must learn to switch from external motivation, to internal motivation. I keep trying to feel that high from past ways of finding passion, but they're simply not working anymore. Religion, shopping, attention, etc. may be tools to feeling good, but the real source is within me.

2. Passionate: We learn to be passionate, or to value certain things over others. Some passions are more based on reality than others... survival, thriving -being happy. Many passions or how we go about being happy, are either functional or dysfunctional illusions. Consider something you're passionate about. If you keep asking & honestly answering "Why" you do anything - you'll see that most motives are either productively or counter-productively selfish.
IE: I'm passionate (maybe obsessed) about learning, partly because my sister used to tease me for being naive. Learning IS productive, but so are other pursuits, like developing relationships, experiencing spirituality, etc. And the reason behind my passion for learning might be continuing a counter-productive belief that I'm only worthwhile if I know a lot.
Love is striving for what we think is best, through trial & error. What gets us passionate depends on what we think & feel is best in any given situation.

3. Serenity: What may be best for 1 person in 1 situation, may not be best for another. We must learn to flow with & accept what's beyond our control & what is truely best, even when it goes against what we're passionate about.
IE: If you go to another country, passionate about improving conditions with your own idea how to do it, you will realize to accomplish anything close to your goal, you must compromise with how things run there. "When in Rome, do as the Romans."
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Old 09-23-2011, 08:00 PM
 
Location: Sierra Nevada Land, CA
7,914 posts, read 8,493,119 times
Reputation: 11616
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikebnllnb View Post
Music does it for me.

"that feeling you get when you go travelling when your 18, and everything is new, that sense of wonder and awe"

I get that going to see as much live music as I can. I constantly search out new stuff to listen to. I'm at a show at least once a week. I get that "high" every time.
That works for a while. And how long does the "high" last? An hour? A day?

I remember those days. Me? The high usually faded in 48 hours or less.


Quote:
Originally Posted by mikeyking View Post
Perhaps another part is the feeling of not really connecting with anyone, except my Partner , not emotional - The fakeness, blandness of people, the artifical nature of "friendships", the being hesitant in opening up and being yourself with others.
Hmm...

What can I say?

Say, have you ever considered getting connected with God in a personal way? God, who created all and who gives real purpose to life? A feeling of connectedness 24/7? And more.

Just sayin'.........
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