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I am pretty sure almost all of us can relate to this situation in one way or another.
Either our children have different religious views than our own, or we have different religious views than our parents.
So, how do you (or will you - if your children are too young or you don't have children yet) handle, react, or feel about it if or when your children come to you and challenge your beliefs?
When I say "beliefs" I mean whether you believe in a God or you believe no God exists.
What will you say to your child if they come to you and believe the complete opposite of what you believe?
I supposed the extremes would be if you are religious and your child is an atheist. Or if you are an atheist and your child becomes "saved".
Of course there are many less extreme differences that you might face.
I am pretty sure almost all of us can relate to this situation in one way or another.
Either our children have different religious views than our own, or we have different religious views than our parents.
So, how do you (or will you - if your children are too young or you don't have children yet) handle, react, or feel about it if or when your children come to you and challenge your beliefs?
When I say "beliefs" I mean whether you believe in a God or you believe no God exists.
What will you say to your child if they come to you and believe the complete opposite of what you believe?
I supposed the extremes would be if you are religious and your child is an atheist. Or if you are an atheist and your child becomes "saved".
Of course there are many less extreme differences that you might face.
I hope if I have kids I will be able keep my beliefs out the way enough for them to come to their own conclusion. I will, however, expect the same consideration from my relatives. It isn't going to be easy, though, particularly if I feel that my relatives are taking advantage of my non-militant stance to foist religion on my kid. I would like for them to avoid the problems I encountered with religion, but a lot of that had to do with childhood indoctrination. If they want to make that choice as they grow up, it is just part of becoming their own person. They have to do it, and hopefully they will be able to extend the courtesy of d non-judgmental relationship to their old man.
As far as the relationship, it really depends on the devoutness of belief and what exactly they believe. If they become Scientologists and are ordered to cease all contact with their "repressives", then obviously that will cause some major problems. If they are say, Episcopalian, and we can avoid touchy religio-political issues over the dinner table, I don't think it would be a problem.
This is not limited to just Atheists vs Theists. When my father was flirting with UR (specifically, a sort of gentle extension of Calvinism) It was very upsetting to my sisters who were stolid Assemblies of God ( fire and brimstone, pentecostal, Weslyan tradition). Both were "Christians", but neither set of doctrine was acceptable to the other. Took a while for that one to settle down, and I am not sure it ever really did. Nobody talks about it, so I guess that is probably the best it is going to be.
Taught my kids to think and explore. Told them to consider all possibilities and accept that which made sense to them. Generally people who are serious and question will arrive at a sensible decision.
My best friend just came out to her Fundamentalist, Evangelical parents that she's an atheist. She did so because they kept hoisting church on her - "What church are you going to?", "Are you going to baptize the baby?", etc. She was getting annoyed with the creation science links and church podcasts too. Her family acts like she's a former drug dealer or something. Eying her, asking short or irrelevant questions about the weather. It hurts her feelings. To be honest, I think they would have treated her better if she'd come out as a lesbian instead of an atheist. It's very sad.
My kids saw the church for what it is and were thrilled when I stopped going. Neither my son or daughter want a religious wedding and they pretty much came to their conclusions all on their own. My son asked a lot of questions and when he occasionally went to different churches, I never stopped or admonished him.
When they were young I taught them the bible like a good priest of the house and when I discovered the falsehoods, I told them that too. They like me better now too.
My parents are fundamentalist evangelical Christians, and I am an atheist. They aren't exactly thrilled with my (non)beliefs, but they still accept me as part of the family. I do get those religious books / links from them, however.
I don't have kids yet, but if I do, I will let them make up their own minds on religious matters. I will concentrate on instilling moral values and an appreciation for rational thought into them, and accept whatever decision they make -- even if they choose to become fundamentalists of some stripe.
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