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Women who live their lives that way generally become boring, shallow, banal, and ultimately annoying.
Yeah, it might be awesome to have a woman like that during the first half of your life, but the second half, not so much.
My grandmother lived that life. She never even graduated high school or obtained a drivers' license. Instead, her whole life was taking care of her husband and cleaning the house. That's what she did for 69 years. Now that her husband has passed and all the children are grown, she is effectively useless - and no one wants to be around her because she is annoying as hell.
She never developed any interests or hobbies - she doesn't even have any favorite shows on television. All of her life, she let her husband decide what to watch and quietly went along with it, sitting obediently near him as he watched and she stared. Yeah, I say "stared" because she never really watched television, nothing she saw really registered in her brain. When her husband died just two years ago, she had no idea how to operate the remote control.
The problem now is that she has such ingrained habits from the 40's and 50's that she practically runs on autopilot. With no one to mother and with no wifely duties, she's shifted that focus onto her daughters - and me. Now she constantly pesters and pesters and pesters me about food and eating because she's just dying to cook something - especially between 5 and 6 pm. She asks me if I'm "okay" two or three dozen times daily, and she talks to and treats me as if I'm still a small child. Her selflessness throughout her life means she has no purpose unless she is all up in my business.
What's more is that she and I can't have any sort of conversation. Because she doesn't know anything. All she ever knew was cooking and cleaning. Instead of being close to my grandmother, the gulf that separates us is light years across. More times than not, all she does is drive both myself AND her daughters to the brink of insanity.
To someone on the outside looking in, you might think my grandmother is just being sweet and helpful and nice ... but it's not. She has no respect for what others want and she cannot take "no" for an answer. If she asks you if you'd like something to eat and you tell her "no," she'll ask you again 5 minutes later, only this time she'll start listing off mmm mmm mmm good foods in the kitchen that I'm missing. Another "no" results in yet another attempt at getting you to eat a few minutes later.
It's so pathetic that for the first year after moving here, she would wake me up in the middle of the night, or late morning because ... wait for it, wait for it ... she wanted to make sure I was still alive! A lot of time I sleep to escape the pain, so when she wakes me up for no reason, it's as good as if she is causing the pain herself. And no matter how mad you get or how many times you tell her to stop, she won't. Because her life was so small, so confined, so absent of anything beyond child-raising and husband-pleasing that it's all she knows how to do.
Now, I'm not saying that all women who adopt this "submissive wife" type of lifestyle will end up just like my grandmother, but I'm willing to bet they all adopt SOME of those traits as they enter their golden years. Conditions like dementia only heightens or amplifies it. Plus, you're just asking to get cheated on, and you probably will. Once your beauty fades, a lot of men start turning their eyes elsewhere because that's how they evolved. You, with your vacuum, pot roasts, and hair ribbon will not hold his interest - and he'll be out there looking for someone more dynamic, fun, challenging, and charismatic.
And what can you, as a spurned wife, do about it? Well ... nothing. Because you've never had a job, you probably don't have an education, you have no money of your own, and if your parents are deceased or very elderly, you don't have anywhere to go. Even if you make a killing on the divorce settlement (which you likely will not given modern divorce laws), you'll still be left with no income and no way to support yourself. Submissive women really leave themselves vulnerable to both abuse and infidelity because their husbands have them over a barrel, and the men know it.
On the macro level, the entire country suffers from such a backward cultural trait. Fully one-half of the population is essentially removed from things like inventing, discovering, exploring, innovating, leading, and simply being heard. All of the female geniuses, female visionaries, female leaders - in fact, females with any kind of positive and useful trait is stuck mopping floors and folding underwear. Unfortunately, there is still a high level of misogyny floating around, especially on the internet (because now men can slam women behind the safety of anonymity). You'll see it A LOT in the comments section of YouTube. Everything from how women aren't funny to being lousy drivers to how women should get back to the kitchen. I sometimes wonder just what kids are being taught these days.
Women who live their lives that way generally become boring, shallow, banal, and ultimately annoying.
Yeah, it might be awesome to have a woman like that during the first half of your life, but the second half, not so much.
My grandmother lived that life. She never even graduated high school or obtained a drivers' license. Instead, her whole life was taking care of her husband and cleaning the house. That's what she did for 69 years. Now that her husband has passed and all the children are grown, she is effectively useless - and no one wants to be around her because she is annoying as hell.
She never developed any interests or hobbies - she doesn't even have any favorite shows on television. All of her life, she let her husband decide what to watch and quietly went along with it, sitting obediently near him as he watched and she stared. Yeah, I say "stared" because she never really watched television, nothing she saw really registered in her brain. When her husband died just two years ago, she had no idea how to operate the remote control.
The problem now is that she has such ingrained habits from the 40's and 50's that she practically runs on autopilot. With no one to mother and with no wifely duties, she's shifted that focus onto her daughters - and me. Now she constantly pesters and pesters and pesters me about food and eating because she's just dying to cook something - especially between 5 and 6 pm. She asks me if I'm "okay" two or three dozen times daily, and she talks to and treats me as if I'm still a small child. Her selflessness throughout her life means she has no purpose unless she is all up in my business.
What's more is that she and I can't have any sort of conversation. Because she doesn't know anything. All she ever knew was cooking and cleaning. Instead of being close to my grandmother, the gulf that separates us is light years across. More times than not, all she does is drive both myself AND her daughters to the brink of insanity.
To someone on the outside looking in, you might think my grandmother is just being sweet and helpful and nice ... but it's not. She has no respect for what others want and she cannot take "no" for an answer. If she asks you if you'd like something to eat and you tell her "no," she'll ask you again 5 minutes later, only this time she'll start listing off mmm mmm mmm good foods in the kitchen that I'm missing. Another "no" results in yet another attempt at getting you to eat a few minutes later.
It's so pathetic that for the first year after moving here, she would wake me up in the middle of the night, or late morning because ... wait for it, wait for it ... she wanted to make sure I was still alive! A lot of time I sleep to escape the pain, so when she wakes me up for no reason, it's as good as if she is causing the pain herself. And no matter how mad you get or how many times you tell her to stop, she won't. Because her life was so small, so confined, so absent of anything beyond child-raising and husband-pleasing that it's all she knows how to do.
Now, I'm not saying that all women who adopt this "submissive wife" type of lifestyle will end up just like my grandmother, but I'm willing to bet they all adopt SOME of those traits as they enter their golden years. Conditions like dementia only heightens or amplifies it. Plus, you're just asking to get cheated on, and you probably will. Once your beauty fades, a lot of men start turning their eyes elsewhere because that's how they evolved. You, with your vacuum, pot roasts, and hair ribbon will not hold his interest - and he'll be out there looking for someone more dynamic, fun, challenging, and charismatic.
And what can you, as a spurned wife, do about it? Well ... nothing. Because you've never had a job, you probably don't have an education, you have no money of your own, and if your parents are deceased or very elderly, you don't have anywhere to go. Even if you make a killing on the divorce settlement (which you likely will not given modern divorce laws), you'll still be left with no income and no way to support yourself. Submissive women really leave themselves vulnerable to both abuse and infidelity because their husbands have them over a barrel, and the men know it.
On the macro level, the entire country suffers from such a backward cultural trait. Fully one-half of the population is essentially removed from things like inventing, discovering, exploring, innovating, leading, and simply being heard. All of the female geniuses, female visionaries, female leaders - in fact, females with any kind of positive and useful trait is stuck mopping floors and folding underwear. Unfortunately, there is still a high level of misogyny floating around, especially on the internet (because now men can slam women behind the safety of anonymity). You'll see it A LOT in the comments section of YouTube. Everything from how women aren't funny to being lousy drivers to how women should get back to the kitchen. I sometimes wonder just what kids are being taught these days.
I know we have a problem with internet misogyny. It's revolting. If a group of guys are making sexist/racist jokes around well-known companions...I don't even remotely care, but why would anyone make such comments for all the world to see, in a public environment? particularly if you're posting messages in the comments section of a video so that the video-maker (who probably will take them quite personally if he or she is new to Youtube video-making) can read them?
It's not the video-makers doing this either (at least not very often). They'd be attacked for it in their comments sections. It's the faceless masses who will not be insulted by a thousand comments every time they type something mildly offensive.
Women who live their lives that way generally become boring, shallow, banal, and ultimately annoying.
I was raised in a position of male privilege, and not only that, WASP male privilege. So at some level I expected the traditional homemaker / child nurturer. But I also intuited that for someone to truly inhabit that role exclusively they would have to commit intellectual suicide -- or simply would lack much intellect to start with. And I am STRONGLY attracted to intelligence and curiosity and had a strong need to be able to RESPECT a life partner, who I saw as someone to be equally sharing the life of mind with, as well as emotion and body. This was, unwittingly, my salvation.
There was a sweet lass more in the traditional mold who sought me out back in my late teens and I'm sure it would be just as you've suggested had I gone that route ... her mother was big as a house, boring as a wall, and the other thing I always told myself is that the best way to get a preview of your life with a woman 30 years out is to take a gander at her mother (it would work just fine in the other direction, too ... ladies, look at the father for a preview of the son's likely story arc). You can always gamble that there's more than meets the eye and that you'd hopefully treat her differently than her dad treated her mom, and tease out the full potential in this repressed person that you're involved with. But the other thing I correctly intuited was that this wasn't my proper role as a husband -- to essentially finish an incomplete job of raising a child to be all that they can be. I'd likely just end up disrespecting the woman and resenting the in loco parentis role. And sure enough, a lot of men treat their wives as if they were children who never grew up. Because often they are. Much as I loved my Mom and was probably in some Freudian sense was wanting to marry someone like her, that's the kind of relationship my parents had and in that way at least it did not appeal to me. At all.
Of course there are 6,472 other ways to screw up marriage and I managed to find most of them, but at least these were two important points I managed to figure out in advance.
If you think this is merely secular, think again it is still prevalent today and there is even a FB page of submissive women.
No wonder the US evangelical men reminisce about the good old 50's (most of them were in nappies or toddlers, some not even born yet)
I am sure the lady posters here will have a field day (I hope)
You might be surprised to note that this actually has little to do with conservatism or religion for that matter. And a great deal to do with the ability to understand personal freedom.
People can be religious and free, religious and oppressed, secular and free, and secular and oppressed. These things actually are a no correlation deal. For that matter, if staying at home is a choice, not a sacrifice, you can say that this and not working is freedom. Of course, if your partner is not part of this solution, then therein lies the problem.
Women who live their lives that way generally become boring, shallow, banal, and ultimately annoying.
Yeah, it might be awesome to have a woman like that during the first half of your life, but the second half, not so much.
My grandmother lived that life. She never even graduated high school or obtained a drivers' license. Instead, her whole life was taking care of her husband and cleaning the house. That's what she did for 69 years. Now that her husband has passed and all the children are grown, she is effectively useless - and no one wants to be around her because she is annoying as hell.
She never developed any interests or hobbies - she doesn't even have any favorite shows on television. All of her life, she let her husband decide what to watch and quietly went along with it, sitting obediently near him as he watched and she stared. Yeah, I say "stared" because she never really watched television, nothing she saw really registered in her brain. When her husband died just two years ago, she had no idea how to operate the remote control.
The problem now is that she has such ingrained habits from the 40's and 50's that she practically runs on autopilot. With no one to mother and with no wifely duties, she's shifted that focus onto her daughters - and me. Now she constantly pesters and pesters and pesters me about food and eating because she's just dying to cook something - especially between 5 and 6 pm. She asks me if I'm "okay" two or three dozen times daily, and she talks to and treats me as if I'm still a small child. Her selflessness throughout her life means she has no purpose unless she is all up in my business.
What's more is that she and I can't have any sort of conversation. Because she doesn't know anything. All she ever knew was cooking and cleaning. Instead of being close to my grandmother, the gulf that separates us is light years across. More times than not, all she does is drive both myself AND her daughters to the brink of insanity.
To someone on the outside looking in, you might think my grandmother is just being sweet and helpful and nice ... but it's not. She has no respect for what others want and she cannot take "no" for an answer. If she asks you if you'd like something to eat and you tell her "no," she'll ask you again 5 minutes later, only this time she'll start listing off mmm mmm mmm good foods in the kitchen that I'm missing. Another "no" results in yet another attempt at getting you to eat a few minutes later.
It's so pathetic that for the first year after moving here, she would wake me up in the middle of the night, or late morning because ... wait for it, wait for it ... she wanted to make sure I was still alive! A lot of time I sleep to escape the pain, so when she wakes me up for no reason, it's as good as if she is causing the pain herself. And no matter how mad you get or how many times you tell her to stop, she won't. Because her life was so small, so confined, so absent of anything beyond child-raising and husband-pleasing that it's all she knows how to do.
Now, I'm not saying that all women who adopt this "submissive wife" type of lifestyle will end up just like my grandmother, but I'm willing to bet they all adopt SOME of those traits as they enter their golden years. Conditions like dementia only heightens or amplifies it. Plus, you're just asking to get cheated on, and you probably will. Once your beauty fades, a lot of men start turning their eyes elsewhere because that's how they evolved. You, with your vacuum, pot roasts, and hair ribbon will not hold his interest - and he'll be out there looking for someone more dynamic, fun, challenging, and charismatic.
And what can you, as a spurned wife, do about it? Well ... nothing. Because you've never had a job, you probably don't have an education, you have no money of your own, and if your parents are deceased or very elderly, you don't have anywhere to go. Even if you make a killing on the divorce settlement (which you likely will not given modern divorce laws), you'll still be left with no income and no way to support yourself. Submissive women really leave themselves vulnerable to both abuse and infidelity because their husbands have them over a barrel, and the men know it.
On the macro level, the entire country suffers from such a backward cultural trait. Fully one-half of the population is essentially removed from things like inventing, discovering, exploring, innovating, leading, and simply being heard. All of the female geniuses, female visionaries, female leaders - in fact, females with any kind of positive and useful trait is stuck mopping floors and folding underwear. Unfortunately, there is still a high level of misogyny floating around, especially on the internet (because now men can slam women behind the safety of anonymity). You'll see it A LOT in the comments section of YouTube. Everything from how women aren't funny to being lousy drivers to how women should get back to the kitchen. I sometimes wonder just what kids are being taught these days.
The way it should be! Let's hook up Hon! LOL!
Quote:
Women who live their lives that way generally become boring, shallow, banal, and ultimately annoying.
Excerpt from a 1950's high school home economics textbook
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal--on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself. Take fifteen minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a life.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up the school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.
Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him; greet him with a smile and be glad to see him.
Some don'ts:
Don't greet him with problems or complaints.
Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.
Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing, and pleasant voice.
Allow him to relax and unwind. Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.
Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.
Your goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
If you think this is merely secular, think again it is still prevalent today and there is even a FB page of submissive women.
No wonder the US evangelical men reminisce about the good old 50's (most of them were in nappies or toddlers, some not even born yet)
I am sure the lady posters here will have a field day (I hope)
I wonder how high married female suicide rates were at the time. Thank you.... THANK YOU to all the women who fought to change the world and to help ensure women my age did not have to contend with this stupidity. Love and submission do not to co-exist!
There is nothing more pathetic then someone who feels they need to control someone to be happy. Only a REAL man can handle a strong woman confident women. 2nd word Lover (don't think that situation does not swing both ways... and you may never see it coming). Sometimes displays of submission are really just a plot to undermine a man who is truly an egotistical idiot). Remember Eve was always the brains behind the operation!
Excerpt from a 1950's high school home economics textbook
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal--on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself. Take fifteen minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a life.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up the school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.
Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him; greet him with a smile and be glad to see him.
Some don'ts:
Don't greet him with problems or complaints.
Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.
Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing, and pleasant voice.
Allow him to relax and unwind. Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.
Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.
Your goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
If you think this is merely secular, think again it is still prevalent today and there is even a FB page of submissive women.
No wonder the US evangelical men reminisce about the good old 50's (most of them were in nappies or toddlers, some not even born yet)
I am sure the lady posters here will have a field day (I hope)
So...What is wrong with a wife doing her part?...That all sounds nice, however, the man should also be reciprocal...The concept of a home back then was different than it is today...
My wife is a homemaker and takes care of the house, cleans it, washes laundry, cooks dinner, sometimes takes my work boots off when I come home, despite my, "No, no, I can do that myself"...My wife appreciated me for going to work everyday and paying the bills and protecting her and in turn I so totally appreciate her that it bugs me when she says that she feels she doesn't contribute enough to the marriage/Home...
Sometimes she says that she is glad she doesn't have to deal with the putzes at work that I have to deal with everyday...I am glad she doesn't have to either...
I wonder how high married female suicide rates were at the time. Thank you.... THANK YOU to all the women who fought to change the world and to help ensure women my age did not have to contend with this stupidity. Love and submission do not to co-exist!
Well, the road is supposed to go both ways...Mutual submission...Somewhere along the line of history men started looking at their women as slaves...I know plenty of couples where the submission is reversed...It is wrong from both ends...Woman was created to be a help-mate and not a slave...I think the world, both men and women have turned into a bunch of selfish putzes...A marriage or relationship is a 50-50 endeavor...
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How crazy ...
. Thank you.... THANK YOU to all the women who fought to change the world and to help ensure women my age did not have to contend with this stupidity. Love and submission do not to co-exist!
!
