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For 15 years my mom was a Jehovah's Witness and my dad more atheist leaning. They got along just fine on the grounds that neither of them put us kids in the middle.
I guess that would be an example of their philosophy being "I don't have to agree with your opinion but I'll respect that it's yours". It's really all about being able to get along and look past people's differences to the common ground you both have. I have a much similar viewpoint to my parents. I am atheist leaning as well, but frankly I don't want everyone to have the same beliefs and opinions. It would be pretty boring if everyone thought the same thing all the time. But between forums like this one and the lengthy list of fox -vs-cnn kind of mentality with every single little thing this is a notion I am afraid is going extinct. There only seems to be a with us or against us mentality everywhere a person can go.
But between forums like this one and the lengthy list of fox -vs-cnn kind of mentality with every single little thing this is a notion I am afraid is going extinct. There only seems to be a with us or against us mentality everywhere a person can go.
You are so very right. The lack of civility in politics is a shining example. Well, 'shining' isn't really the right word.
One of my great-aunt and grand-uncle pairings were Catholic and Protestant (Church of Christ, I think) and they were happily married for 50+ years. As far as I know, they just didn't argue about it, probably having come to an understanding before I was born.
I am the child of an interfaith marriage (still going strong after 30 years of marriage and 40 years together!) and am in an interfaith relationship. My father's atheism rubbed off on my mother's Judaism, though we celebrated almost all holidays of all spiritual traditions in my home growing up (which is absolutely the way to go!).
I ended up associating more with Judaism, though my level of observance and belief is in constant flux. I am dating a man who is atheist that was raised in both a secular humanist (chemistry professor grandfather) and Native American spiritualism (grandmother) household. He knows that if we are together long term and have children, those children will be raised Jewish. And man I date must accept that. However, I feel no strong need for those around me to believe in a deity. It's the cultural connection that is the most important aspect for me - regardless of where my faith fluctuations are on any given day, I am always a Jew.
When your partner is your best friend and your lover, nothing else really matters.
The only time my marriage suffered is when I was a fundy and neglected my family as a father in preference for doing the "lords work" If only I could have those years back to make restitution. Fortunately, I came to my senses before it was too late and you could almost hear an audible sigh of relief when I announced I was no longer going to church.
My marriage survived this bout of madness as my wife and I still remained friends and lovers despite my fervour for god at the time. I guess she knew that this would pass.
We never had any preconditions to our marriage concerning beliefs and as such, was not a foundation or cornerstone in the marriage. We had lived together for 2+ years before tying the knot. We are both non believers now but she is more of an agnostic whereas I am a full blown atheist.
My kids saw first hand how "sincere" the church was when my dad took ill and I stood down from the P&W team to take care of my Alzheimer's father. No one pitched in or called. They have made their own minds up that it was and is all BS.
No matter the label, a fundamentalist anything (athiest, Christian, nutritionist etc.) is pretty hard tolerate. And I for one do not believe a fundy can change it's spots, so to speak. If they are not harping on one thing it's another.
They'll never change. They just seem to change their monikers and get right back in your face. "Here I'am again! I've found the truth to life again. Here's what you need to do."
Btw, I tried a mixed faith marriage. In my case it was big no-no mostly because my mate went fundamental with thier belief system. I detest rigidity.
I was married to an agnostic for almost 18 years. I was an active Christian for 10 of those years. When I decided to go to church (6 yrs after we were married), my then husband said to me, if you don't pressure me into going, I won't stop you from going.
It worked well for the most part. We had two kids then, and they went to church with me. He was even ok that I put church in front of other things, such as baseball games and such. I never pushed my religion on him, and he never got in the way of my going.
He did, however, pressure me into doing things I saw as sinful. Drinking, cheating on taxes, having threesomes, things like that. Sometimes it was a struggle. He got messed up with meth, and that's when it really went downhill.
I would not recommend a Christian be with a non believer if it can at all be helped. Life would be much simpler if both believe the same.
I'm an atheist and don't drink, cheat on taxes, have threesomes, or do drugs. Heck, when I was a Christian though, I was doing most of those things. I'm a better person as an atheist because now I know there's no god to forgive me of my sins. I take life as-is and make the best of it.
I'm a better person now that I'm not a fundamentalist, nor align myself with organized religion.
When my husband & I first got married, I was "inactive" but Mormon. He was very active Mormon & had served a mission. I became active & "worthy" so we could marry in the temple... But I always had doubts & those doubts have become much greater the last few years. He's often looked down on me (as he's taught to in church) for questioning the church. He tries to make himself out to be the better one. I've compromised a lot (maybe too much). I still go to church because we agreed we'd raise our kids in the church. Yet, I teach my kids other perspectives... & that's often clashed & we argue about what to teach our kids in front of them, which isn't good.
My husband is a good person. He's been abusive a couple of times, but mostly he's been good to me & our children. Yet, because we're growing differently psychologically/beliefs - I don't feel as close to him. I feel like I'm going through the motions, to keep our family together.
When my husband & I first got married, I was "inactive" but Mormon. He was very active Mormon & had served a mission. I became active & "worthy" so we could marry in the temple... But I always had doubts & those doubts have become much greater the last few years. He's often looked down on me (as he's taught to in church) for questioning the church. He tries to make himself out to be the better one. I've compromised a lot (maybe too much). I still go to church because we agreed we'd raise our kids in the church. Yet, I teach my kids other perspectives... & that's often clashed & we argue about what to teach our kids in front of them, which isn't good.
My husband is a good person. He's been abusive a couple of times, but mostly he's been good to me & our children. Yet, because we're growing differently psychologically/beliefs - I don't feel as close to him. I feel like I'm going through the motions, to keep our family together.
And you are. Of course you're not the only one in this type of situation, that may or may not make you feel much better.
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