Pictures at funerals ... (belief, vain, casket, hell)

[ceradvven]

my husband was waked yesterday and it was the hardest thing i've done yet- his family is Hispanic and many took pictures- we also had locks of his hair cut- my side of the family thought this was weird- but i personally want the pictures to remember how peaceful he was and to show our daughter who is only two- i also had been worried about bringing her, at first she was scared - she knew it was her dad but didnt want to be close- towards the end she kissed him good bye and gave him her flower- i definitely will look at those pictures to make me feel better- don't know why it just will- rebecca-

[foma]

Although unconventional, I didn't think it was considered "poor taste" as long as you didn't have someone snapping away during the eulogy or something. We hired an old high school friend of mine to take pictures at my father's funeral. He thought it was a little weird but not unheard of (ie Reagan's funeral or any other "important person". I wouldn't be surprised if postmortem pictures were taken either. We're just too squeamish to see it on TV). We did this at my mother's request. My father wouldn't have minded as he did this after the death of both his parents b'c they died abroad and we could only afford my Dad to go to the funeral. I also posted the funeral pictures online so that my father's relatives who lived abroad that couldn't make it to the funeral could see. They were grateful. I know this sounds strange but every so often I flip through the album (which contains only funeral/cemetary pictures of Dad) and it gives me a sense of ease, closure, like it really happened. Sometimes, I need to be reminded that Dad is gone b'c his physical presense still feels so real to me for some reason even though it has been almost 3 years. Anyway, that's my 2 cents worth. Would I want this done at my funeral? Probably not but I'm sure my Mom would want it at hers and I will respect her wishes.

[TravisW]

When my grandfather died in 1992, my dad's cousin took a bunch of pictures at the funeral and burial. We were all somewhat off-put by the whole thing--it's uncommon at least amongst Scandinavian Lutherans in central North Dakota.

[Donna7]

Originally Posted by 2goldens

I don't know if I can or allowed to discuss this. I'm Roman Catholic and
I feel confused and disturbed when attending funerals of other religion
that people would take pictures of the deceased. Is this normal, or is it
just me? Is it against the Catholic religion and therefore, it appears
not normal to me? Then later during photo album time, the pictures
show up and the people smile about looking at the photographs.

What do you think?

Well, I'm not one of those enlightened and all-knowing Cradle-to-Grave Catholics, I am only a puny converted Catholic so I don't have the divine answer. To me, people should take pictures if it gives them comfort and helps them with their grieving process or even remembering the deceased. I don't see anything wrong with people smiling when looking at photographs of the deceased. I think we're supposed to celebrate the life of the deceased.

For me, taking pictures of the deceased person is not my cup of tea because to me once the person dies, the body looks like a "shell" of the person. The soul, the life, that once was, doesn't seem to be there...it's as if it's truly departed. Taking a picture of the body doesn't do the person justice. I'd rather remember the person as he/she was (in my heart). However, it someone wants to do that, it's perfectly fine with me.

[Lindsey_Mcfarren]

I took pictures of my Father in private at the funeral home. AND they will not show up in a photo album. I did it because I knew I would have a hard time accepting his death.

I also thought my daughter might want to see them one day. She was only 2 when he passed away.

Personally I would rather remember him as he was in life, not what he had become after being ill for so long.

[Donna7]

Originally Posted by ceradvven

my husband was waked yesterday and it was the hardest thing i've done yet- his family is Hispanic and many took pictures- we also had locks of his hair cut- my side of the family thought this was weird- but i personally want the pictures to remember how peaceful he was and to show our daughter who is only two- i also had been worried about bringing her, at first she was scared - she knew it was her dad but didnt want to be close- towards the end she kissed him good bye and gave him her flower- i definitely will look at those pictures to make me feel better- don't know why it just will- rebecca-

Rebecca, please accept my sincere condolences on the passing of your dear husband. I'm very glad that you and your daughter will have pictures to look at to help you feel better as well as to remember him, and especially for your very young daughter. May you and your daughter be surrounded by peace and love from up above; I hope that you have love and support from those around you; this must seem surreal right now. I'm very sorry for your loss and your daughter's loss. Sending you uplifting thoughts and prayers for both of you.

[MontanaGuy]

I don't want to remember a loved one by the sight of their dead body laying in a casket let alone a photograph. I find this to be disturbing and unnatural. I don't want anyone to see my body after I've died and I want to be creamated. Dead bodies are the stuff of nightmares and I certainly wouldn't want to kiss one even if she was a hot babe while she was alive. I think this is a cultural thing and at least in America it seems to be less common than it once was. I remember my Dad's boss took photos of his Mother in her coffin and I know that my Dad found it to be very unpleasant. All I can say is that dead people are not hot due to the fact that they're dead. Maybe it's just me but I prefer to look at people while they're still alive. In fact I'd rather look at a living person who's homlier than a mud fence than look at a beautiful woman who's dead.

[esselcue]

I have an album of people who attended my son's memorial and the subsequent bonfire and celebration of his life that followed...but none of my son's body. I find that ghoulish and something I would NEVER want to see again. I prefer to remember him alive, laughing, loving...not lying in respose for all to "view".

[the one]

takin pics at a funeral is not odd at all. its an old custom. people have lots of death pics. in my family we do. from the 30's till now.

back in the day that might have been the only picture of the person.

its a consolation. you remember the people at birth, in life, so why not in death? its just another moment in life.

[thefer]

Originally Posted by GASunshine

There was one photo of a young (dead) child draped on a sofa with his family members standing behind. He was dressed is the same outfit as one of his siblings (all the photos are labeled with names and dates). I still have the book. What was I supposed to do? Throw away my ancestors? Maybe. Of course, the next generation is going to find it among my things and then they'll really think I'm weird (or psycho).

my grand parents took pictures at funerals.
I don't think my parents have but I have seen pictures that my grand mothers
took or had taken at funerals.

They use to bring the body home and sit up with it until the funeral or wake and during that time of privacy pictures were taken I think to help with the acceptance of the death.