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Old 08-08-2012, 08:01 PM
 
1,140 posts, read 1,046,496 times
Reputation: 478

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Out of the blue, a female that I formerly knew, got in contact with me through texts.

The back story on this female is that I met her close to my job, and spoke with her twice. The second time, we decided to go to a bar at around four or five in the afternoon, and she had a drink. Inside I told her that I lived with a woman, but I denied that she was my current girlfriend.

However, she is and was my current girlfriend and there was no ambiguity about it. If my girl found out about this or ever does, it would hurt her feelings and break our semblance of trust.

After we left the bar, she consistantly touched me and we exchanged numbers. I cannot remember who initiated the texting, but one day, she texted me, and asked if I wanted to eat breakfast at her house.

I went to her house and explicit content took place, but we didn't have sex, neither oral nor intercourse. At that point, I realized I made a mistake and cut off all contact with her.

Maybe, six months to a year pass, and I receive texts out of the blue. I ignore them. Months later, I receive texts again. This time I entertain them, and I say, "maybe we can finish what we started."

I can think of a number of excuses about why I did this, but the bottom line is that I know it's wrong.

Why are women such a weakness? I know that in order to become more like Christ, I have to behave in a way that does not betray one's trust. I cannot seem to find the power within myself to avoid thinking about the opposite sex in ways that would cause jealousy and remorse.

And it's not just that. It sets a bad example, and Christ said "Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to the man whom the offense comes!," in regard to causing an innocent child to sin. For it is we that teach them the ways of the world because we tend to do as if we are of the world, and as a result, act accordingly to the world and its ways.

What we must remember is that our natural sense of morality and righteousness is not of this world, but of God. In the third of the three epistles of John, it is written, "We know that we are of God, and the whole world lies under the sway of the wicked one."

Yet, even as I sin, I justify it as if it's no problem this time, when I cannot even predict what will happen tomorrow. Vainly, I believe that there is so much sin going on in this world that I won't even be held accountable for something I try to justify as minor.

Until I drop this bad behavior, I am still outside of the Lord's favor.

Last edited by Del Boy; 08-08-2012 at 09:30 PM..
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Old 08-09-2012, 06:13 AM
 
Location: FL
1,727 posts, read 2,095,841 times
Reputation: 1027
Can you block a phone number from your cell phone?
In my opinion everyone is a hypocrite in some form or another. That doesn't make it "okay", but it is true.
You slipped up. Learn from your mistake and move forward.
It's easy to come up with ways to justify questionable behavior, but in your heart you know it's wrong.
Think ahead to how you will react if this situation happens again. Don't rely on just dealing with it when the time comes. Have a plan. Be ready to react in a more honorable way.
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Old 08-09-2012, 08:26 AM
 
1,168 posts, read 1,045,282 times
Reputation: 87
I would say to you, The sin as you believe it to be..is in the lie you told in the beginning...correct that...repent/confess...tell both parties the truth...be honest...be friends...Sometimes that is what the other is looking for most...Honesty and true friendships!

As you go..The Lord came to take our sins, and toss em into the fire...we will make mistakes, and learn by them, and the truth of them..but at this point your mistake is only in the lie, and the dishonesty...which can be addressed/corrected...and hence you move forwards as the other Poster mentions...God accepts your repentance...when you correct the error...and and try to change that deviant behavior..so you do not do it agains....

We all have sin...we are born into sin...and we are tested by it everyday...how we make our choices naturally or invoked, or forced....with the above in mind...we should do well...or dwell in the light of truth always.

This post is in someway a form of repentance/confession....but not towards the ones it needs to be confessed/repented/explained to....

I do not think your present girlfriend would mind, if you brought this forward and told her you have another Friend...Friends are a good thing....Jesus had a few friends...So..it is natural to have friends...and by letting her know you have a friend..

You do not have to lie. or hide that fact, being deceitful or underhanded, or sly...which does not helps you and only shows the evil one working his way into you to break up your relationships..on both sides...Truth always helps us stay out of sin...and lies bring sin in...

And once they both know you, as honerable and truthful and loyal.....they may like eachother as friends aswell if they should ever meet....keeping in mind your commitment to the one you are commited to, and not the other, as friend....So jeliousy stays out of the picture.

This other friend you made, may need a friend...Helping others is a christian thing to do...as Jesus said Care for the living....there are many!

SO don't be too hard on yourself...but be in control always...stay out of sin...if that is your goal.....a relationship of sexual premise out of wedlock is not smiled upon by the religious order of the most high....Just so you know, if you are doing the deed out of wedlock with your girlfriend, and have inclings to do it with others aswell...you are still sinning in certain circles, in the mind.......Just thought I would toss that out there for you to consume and ponder on....Remember Jesus said , if you think thoughts along the lines of sexaul conduct with a married woman, you have already commited adultery.....well same with sex...having sex or thinking in that line of thought with someone else other that your girlfriend, is in a sense the same violation....gotta keep the mind clean, the heart pure, and the soul in the light.

Good luck.

Blessings!
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Old 08-09-2012, 11:12 AM
 
Location: Sitting beside Walden Pond
4,610 posts, read 3,968,388 times
Reputation: 1389
Quote:
Originally Posted by Del Boy View Post
Honestly, Christ is the answer, we just have to follow the rules.
I don't think Christ is not the answer for all of us, but I bet he is the answer for you. That's good.
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Old 08-09-2012, 12:54 PM
 
Location: Plymouth, MN
308 posts, read 731,980 times
Reputation: 377
Quote:
Originally Posted by Del Boy View Post
What we must remember is that our natural sense of morality and righteousness is not of this world, but of God.
nothing can be further from the truth than this particular statement. morals are a society's way to ensure its survival (you dont want to do something that you don't want others do to you -- lie, steal, kill, etc). the concept of morality is as old as human society itself, and morals existed THOUSANDS of years before Christianity and its dogmas.

Moderator cut: delete

Last edited by june 7th; 08-10-2012 at 01:57 PM..
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Old 08-09-2012, 02:25 PM
 
Location: Canada
4,672 posts, read 8,123,648 times
Reputation: 4818
Think about it this way: it's not just that you might potentially hurt your girlfriend, what you're doing is harmful to yourself. You're depriving yourself of the experience of investing yourself emotionally in just one person, and you're depriving yourself of the experience of being faithful. I understand the temptation, but if you're serious about your girlfriend you shouldn't cheapen the time you spend together by cheating. Take a good hard look at your relationship and think about what your girlfriend means to you. If the relationship isn't so rewarding that you can't afford to cheat and diminish it, perhaps you need to re-examine what you're doing and if it's moral of you to stay in this relationship.
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Old 08-09-2012, 03:39 PM
 
Location: where people are either too stupid to leave or too stuck to move
3,998 posts, read 5,505,273 times
Reputation: 3619
you probably should tell your girlfriend about what happened, if not , it kind of makes your whole relationship a lie..which is kinda worst
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Old 08-09-2012, 05:03 PM
 
1,140 posts, read 1,046,496 times
Reputation: 478
Quote:
Originally Posted by looking4answers12 View Post
Can you block a phone number from your cell phone?
In my opinion everyone is a hypocrite in some form or another. That doesn't make it "okay", but it is true.
You slipped up. Learn from your mistake and move forward.
It's easy to come up with ways to justify questionable behavior, but in your heart you know it's wrong.
Think ahead to how you will react if this situation happens again. Don't rely on just dealing with it when the time comes. Have a plan. Be ready to react in a more honorable way.

I don't want to block her number because I feel like that would do more harm than good. Not to me, but maybe to her. I think she was just looking for some closure. I don't think she had any intention of hooking up, but instead wanted to find out if I had a legitimate reason for never making contact with her after that day or if I was just a jerk. I think I may text her back to tell her I'm sorry.
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Old 08-09-2012, 05:44 PM
 
1,140 posts, read 1,046,496 times
Reputation: 478
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Les View Post
I would say to you, The sin as you believe it to be..is in the lie you told in the beginning...correct that...repent/confess...tell both parties the truth...be honest...be friends...Sometimes that is what the other is looking for most...Honesty and true friendships!

As you go..The Lord came to take our sins, and toss em into the fire...we will make mistakes, and learn by them, and the truth of them..but at this point your mistake is only in the lie, and the dishonesty...which can be addressed/corrected...and hence you move forwards as the other Poster mentions...God accepts your repentance...when you correct the error...and and try to change that deviant behavior..so you do not do it agains....

We all have sin...we are born into sin...and we are tested by it everyday...how we make our choices naturally or invoked, or forced....with the above in mind...we should do well...or dwell in the light of truth always.

This post is in someway a form of repentance/confession....but not towards the ones it needs to be confessed/repented/explained to....

I do not think your present girlfriend would mind, if you brought this forward and told her you have another Friend...Friends are a good thing....Jesus had a few friends...So..it is natural to have friends...and by letting her know you have a friend..

You do not have to lie. or hide that fact, being deceitful or underhanded, or sly...which does not helps you and only shows the evil one working his way into you to break up your relationships..on both sides...Truth always helps us stay out of sin...and lies bring sin in...

And once they both know you, as honerable and truthful and loyal.....they may like eachother as friends aswell if they should ever meet....keeping in mind your commitment to the one you are commited to, and not the other, as friend....So jeliousy stays out of the picture.

This other friend you made, may need a friend...Helping others is a christian thing to do...as Jesus said Care for the living....there are many!

SO don't be too hard on yourself...but be in control always...stay out of sin...if that is your goal.....a relationship of sexual premise out of wedlock is not smiled upon by the religious order of the most high....Just so you know, if you are doing the deed out of wedlock with your girlfriend, and have inclings to do it with others aswell...you are still sinning in certain circles, in the mind.......Just thought I would toss that out there for you to consume and ponder on....Remember Jesus said , if you think thoughts along the lines of sexaul conduct with a married woman, you have already commited adultery.....well same with sex...having sex or thinking in that line of thought with someone else other that your girlfriend, is in a sense the same violation....gotta keep the mind clean, the heart pure, and the soul in the light.

Good luck.

Blessings!
My current girl was also my past girl, so if I told her, it would hurt her feelings. In so far as having friends, I can't have females as friends. I mean, I don't really have any friends as it is, with the exception of some who live in other states. It seems like everyone I associate with now are caught up in the social aspect of the world, and if you don't fit in with their criteria, you're not really part of the club. I'm not outcasted, but I just don't particularly like playing the game and pretending to be someone I'm not.

I don't know, I don't really make too much sense.

I appreciate everybody's response.

It's just that sometimes I feel like I'm stuck. Like I'm not going anywhere. I just stay in this small town, and never have any money to do anything other than pay the bills and eat.

But I can't complain because life could be much worse.
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Old 08-09-2012, 05:48 PM
 
1,140 posts, read 1,046,496 times
Reputation: 478
Quote:
Originally Posted by BIMBAM View Post
Think about it this way: it's not just that you might potentially hurt your girlfriend, what you're doing is harmful to yourself. You're depriving yourself of the experience of investing yourself emotionally in just one person, and you're depriving yourself of the experience of being faithful. I understand the temptation, but if you're serious about your girlfriend you shouldn't cheapen the time you spend together by cheating. Take a good hard look at your relationship and think about what your girlfriend means to you. If the relationship isn't so rewarding that you can't afford to cheat and diminish it, perhaps you need to re-examine what you're doing and if it's moral of you to stay in this relationship.
You're right. Honestly though, I'm not sure I completely trust my girlfriend either. Like, if something terrible happened to me that left me signficantly, physically, diminished, I can't say for sure that she would be there to support me.

I guess that's just a reality of life though.
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