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I would like to have a better understanding of people's beliefs regarding modesty, lust, and sin. I am not religious myself, but I am interested in various beliefs and the people who hold them. What confuses me is the fact that standards for dress tend to be dictated mainly for women. You read/hear a lot about women covering up their skin, wearing looser clothing (or skirts instead of pants), etc. The implication is that this will help men look away and not think lustful thoughts.
But what about women and their own lustful thoughts? I have never, not once, read anything about men changing the way they dress. And honestly, speaking as a woman, it doesn't matter what men are wearing. They could be wearing a t-shirt, a suit, dress pants, jeans, or anything else. If they are attractive, I will notice immediately. And what could be more "modest" than a t-shirt and jeans?
Is this because it's thought that men's clothes are more modest to begin with? Is it only sinful for men to lust? Do people think that women do not lust? I don't understand.
I think it arises from a general principle that men often are more exclusively visually stimulated than women tend to be. In my younger days, a woman showing cleavage or most of her legs was quite an annoying distraction. My brain, quite unbidden, just filled in all the details. You can call that objectification if you want but is the way the testosterone-addled brains of young men work.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're not looking for the curve of muscle, or a suggestive bulge at the crotch; you're looking at the eyes, the bearing, the attitude. As you said, you'll notice that housed in a wide variety of clothing. On the other hand a man is trying to get a glimpse of breast or inner thigh or posterior, etc., and so clothing that is loose and revealing or tight and revealing in the right places, makes a real difference to us. I admit this with the full knowledge that two dozen women are reading this and nodding knowingly and saying to themselves, yes, the pigs, you see how they are! But it's true.
Now it's true that there's an element to attraction for men that also includes the eyes, the bearing, the attitude, intelligence, wit, etc., just like for women. I'm simply saying it's less front and center, particularly for young men, compared to women at any age. We want all those things, the whole package, just like you do, but it's often not the FIRST thing we notice or contemplate, trust me.
Thanks for the reply! I don't know... Of course, all women (and men) are different, but as for me, I am incredibly distracted by the curve of a muscle, the strength of a leg, the way the shirt hangs over the shoulders and chest (even if it is not tight on the torso), the overall stature, the hip and thigh area. In fact, those are the things I notice most when in public because I usually see those first before I see the eyes, if I even get a look at the eyes at all.
I definitely understand that many men tend to be very visual. But I know that many women are as well.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're not looking for the curve of muscle, or a suggestive bulge at the crotch; you're looking at the eyes, the bearing, the attitude.
I've often found it rather contradictory that sin seems to be related to having a sense of being aware of nakedness or sexual actions and being affected by them more than - say seeing someone eating or reading a book.
But if we attempt to treat these matters in a natural way and not react in the way that seems to be the basis of sin -feelings, that in itself is considered a sin.
That is why I am more inclined to a natural and rational approach to these matters rather than reacting emotionally and instinctively and then trying to fit our reactions into a religious framework of -Sin -doctrine.
It's an uphill struggle - far more difficult than pushing the atheist cause. Any rational and non - emotional (not to say non -hysterical) discussion of these matters is apparently impossible - even amongst atheists.
I definitely understand that many men tend to be very visual. But I know that many women are as well.
Yep, though I tend to regard such women more as the exception that proves the rule. I can't be sure, of course, as I'm not a woman, and certainly, pop culture encourages women to objectify men also. It just doesn't seem so successful to me. Women in my experience always talk about "bedroom eyes", not the shape or suggestiveness of particular body parts. And I suspect that women rhapsodizing in bed about the size of a guy's tool are just pandering to their perception (unfortunately, it's probably fairly accurate) that we are often terribly vain and hung up on that largely irrelevant topic and lap it right up -- not so much that women actually are that impressed.
This is one of the reasons I personally found the SNL parody song "D__k in a box" to be so utterly hilarious -- women mouthing "oh, THANK you" when presented with that particular boxed gift sounds like a male fantasy, not a female fantasy. In fact the whole song strikes me as a parody of what it would be like if we objectified men like we do women.
I would like to have a better understanding of people's beliefs regarding modesty, lust, and sin. I am not religious myself, but I am interested in various beliefs and the people who hold them. What confuses me is the fact that standards for dress tend to be dictated mainly for women. You read/hear a lot about women covering up their skin, wearing looser clothing (or skirts instead of pants), etc. The implication is that this will help men look away and not think lustful thoughts.
But what about women and their own lustful thoughts? I have never, not once, read anything about men changing the way they dress. And honestly, speaking as a woman, it doesn't matter what men are wearing. They could be wearing a t-shirt, a suit, dress pants, jeans, or anything else. If they are attractive, I will notice immediately. And what could be more "modest" than a t-shirt and jeans?
Is this because it's thought that men's clothes are more modest to begin with? Is it only sinful for men to lust? Do people think that women do not lust? I don't understand.
Because you don't typically see guys wearing short midriff blouses showing cleavage with Daisy Duke cutoff shorts to match.
If a weaker brother sees me drinking a beer, and has an issue with it...then goes on a bender, I'm wrong. That's all there is to it--I shouldn't cause him to stumble.
Likewise, if a woman, knowing what kind of a pig that men are, dresses like a hootchie-mama.....well, she's wrong if she causes him to sin. Having said that, if a woman dresses modestly, not showing cleavage, or tight garments, etc....and the pig of a guy in the pew next to her still lusts after her, I can't see how she is to blame.
I would say the same about any guy that dresses immodestly--whether it is the guy wearing speedos at the pool, or the construction worker that takes a shirt off in front of ladies that might have issue with it.
Simply put...just have some awareness of those around you and don't flaunt your liberty to be free in Christ.
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