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Please pm me if uncomfortable about posting here. I'm not sure about what has happened.
I do have some underlying health issues- sleep apnea that went undiagnosed for years, a bad fall where I hit my head about 35 years ago. So my awareness for that time has not been great. Foggy brain is probably the best term. My life has been pretty boring, unchallenged, sort of a "sleepwalk".
So a few months back I started taking a brain supplement. I start feeling more awake.
My brain seemed to be really sharp. Then my heart felt like it had been "washed off"
Waking up and going to sleep hours before I used to. I started walking, etc.
My senses are more attuned. Animals (even wild ones) seem almost too friendly.
One of the biggest things I crave is peace. I started using some meditation videos with binaural beats etc.
I have cried more in 3 months than 50 years.
The more significant part was the internal questioning of everything about myself.
And my long term relationship with my spouse. I have been going to a therapist since this started.
The therapist (and a psychologist I saw with my wife)- both do not think I have a mental illness.
I have not had any known psychological problems throughout my life. I don't drink or use illicit drugs.
A couple of months before this started- I had a strange feeling when I visited my opposite sex doctor.
I had been almost drunk with love (not about her), joy that could burst your heart, unconditional love in a few minutes- more than my 50 years combined felt, and I felt beautiful. I'm a middle-aged fat guy- I have never felt beautiful. Not from her- but more like a feeling that swept over me. As most of these feeling were pretty new to me- it took me about a month for me to connect the dots. I have never been to heaven- but for those 5-15 minutes- it felt like I was in heaven. I'm not sure if it matters- I don't know what the holy ghost feels like. But as I have talked to several people about this- a couple thought it may have been. Not trying to make this a religious debate. As for the dr- there are feelings. I sensed that she might have the "gifts of service". She seems to be quite a giving person. She has only acted professionally towards me.
During all of these changes- I went to see her again and basically I freaked out about the life I missed out on. She calmed me down. Something I had said got her a bit upset- I felt a "poke" at that moment in my heart. I felt something beyond an ouch. It was some really serious stuff on her heart. I do not ever believe I have had any "out of the ordinary" experiences. What followed later that day was a couple things- one is I "saw" her heart. In my mind- it looked beaten up. I cried. It also seemed for days, that I can only describe as loving "force" or "nudging hands" wanted me to make sure she was "confronted" about what I had seen.
So during this last few months- its been like I have been in a spiritual/ psychologic storm that has been
really scary, really painful, really upsetting. It seems that my "mask" is pretty much gone from so much introspection. It does seem to be passing. I can't positively- but it's starting to feel as if I'm "graduating", for lack of a better term.
As things have been happening to me- I type into google. The same stuff seems to be coming up-
"spiritual awakening", "spiritual ascension", kundalini awakening. These are all terms- as of 3 months ago- I was quite unaware of.
So what I would love is help understanding what is going on, what I should or should not be doing, and maybe some thoughts on why.
This is a real thread-send me stuff privately if need be. Thanks everyone.
I really like this post, thanks, it was real.
Revelation 11
3And I will give power unto my two witnesses, and they shall prophesy a thousand two hundred and threescore days,
A person is made of 3 things.
The water testifies, and the blood testifies and also the spirit.
If a time has come that God gives his two witnesses power, then it means that a time has come when God has opened up a door inside people and given them an awakening, but there is a serious problem with this.
Because if a person is given power when they have no knowledge of God, then they are seen as babies and Jesus talks about these days saying,'' Woe to those with children and weaning children in those days.''
You become born again and you become the servant of the house which holds the child of God within you, and you are it's mother. You have to raise the child in the milk of the word so he can eat meat{hidden truths} in due season{The meat and truth of 7 feast days to walk in like levels graduating from level to level, a known ladder in a progressive walk with God through his feast day promises}
A window is opened up and you can see and touch the spirit of other people and the desire to prophesy is overwhelming because you know without a doubt that something has changed within you even if you can't explain it.
There was just one of you before this happened, and now there are two.
Hi HF- I don't want to derail anyone else from adding potentially non religious thoughts. To address your post- I am that type of baby (how did you know?) I am woefully ignorant of God. I take from your post that I need to read the word. What is the baby? The holy spirit? Or is it being born again?
On the same topic- I am having the most difficulty with submission. At first I thought it was pride, but I think it has to do with being afraid of being lonely by giving up my "self". Can you- or anyone else, please give me a better understanding of the doctor connection? Thanks so much!
The doctor comes across to me as a ‘perfect authority figure’ in relation to where you are at –with only expressions of positive regard for you and your experiences, and a desire to help out. That image of a person that you have framed (indeed, most people look up to medical doctors), combined with a ‘spiritual awakening’ impulse or force reference frame has the potential for a heady mix of emotion / feelings.
I’ll let HF expound the stuff in regard to what he’s saying, but you’re on the right lines,and possibly very similar to HF in terms of spiritual gifting.
Hi HF- I don't want to derail anyone else from adding potentially non religious thoughts. To address your post- I am that type of baby (how did you know?) I am woefully ignorant of God. I take from your post that I need to read the word. What is the baby? The holy spirit? Or is it being born again?
On the same topic- I am having the most difficulty with submission. At first I thought it was pride, but I think it has to do with being afraid of being lonely by giving up my "self". Can you- or anyone else, please give me a better understanding of the doctor connection? Thanks so much!
You shouldn't listen to me, but I will give you my opinion, only opinion.
Maybe you suffered a trauma, and maybe you should listen to the non religious, and I would usually say that.
But it isn't just you, you go into the Christian forum and you will find at least 3 people that think they are Jesus, and or think that they have suddenly been given the Holy spirit and there is none like them.
In the last ten years something has changed in the world, false prophets abound everywhere, in every corner and this is a new thing happening, I would never have dreamed that so many people would become the false prophet, and becoming the false prophet is the first stage of a walk with God.
Elijah was the least in the kingdom because he prophesied of fire, and earthquake and wind, but God showed Elijah that he is not in the fire, he is not in the Earthquake or the wind. But this is what we see from the great multitudes today in their false prophesy, Their spirit is opened up and they really believe they are bound for glory and so they go about prophesying because they can no doubt feel the spirit, but it isn't the Holy spirit at all.
Multitudes of people feel like they suddenly aren't alone anymore, something has changed within them, and the ones who are educated in the bible take the lead to become the great prophet and they really believe they are the only one, just as Elijah says,'' Lord I am the only one left who follows you.''
This may not be what has happened to you, I don't know.
I call this the Elijah syndrome, and it is happening to people everywhere.
But Elijah is a man who failed his mission because he represents the flesh, and another man is appointed to complete what Elijah was meant to do.{a person graduates from the prophet to a priest}
It's that a door is opened in people and they feel and know a spirit is there where they begin reading people and they become very aware of life as if the entire universe is speaking to them and this is something they want to tell the world about in vanity.
But this spirit is a spirit that needs to die, as Elijah needed to be taken out of the way, a false prophet needs to end, and he needs to come to the end of his great prophesy in the flesh.
He needs to learn silence and humbleness so that he can stop being the false prophet so that he can become a tiller of soil{learning the 3 harvests of God}
The spirit that people are feeling today is not the child, and he is not the Holy spirit.
It is the husband, the first one that is present within everyone, the fallen Adam.
In your left eye and your left hand is a spirit, a fallen spirit.
It is that your left eye has been opened, and now it sees{Maybe}.
One day, the sons of God all gathered together and looked down upon the Earth when mankind had evolved, and God turned to the sons and said,'' Who will go down and lead these people?''
All the sons said,'' I will, I will.''
So each of the sons went down into humans to be a guiding spirit in each one of them, and they reside in the left hand and the left eye.
They became the most beautiful creature in a marriage that made them one.
But the entire creation fell, and they all fell together, and the spirit had fallen with them and became silent until the day a door would be opened up for the fallen sons to see again.
In these days, that door has been opened{I believe}, and people know that something has changed in them.
They become convinced that they are now filled with the Holy spirit and so their desire is conceit{If they are Bible scholars}, their desire to be great leads them astray and they become the false prophet thinking that they MUST be the great prophet BECAUSE they feel a spirit.
But the spirit they feel is fallen, and while it seems like a glorious thing, it is pure vanity.
But if I were you, I would take the advise of somebody who doesn't even believe in God, you listen to me and maybe you become crazy like me, and there is none other than me, I am the head crazy upon the Earth.
Last edited by Hannibal Flavius; 01-05-2015 at 11:49 AM..
Hi HF- I don't want to derail anyone else from adding potentially non religious thoughts. To address your post- I am that type of baby (how did you know?) I am woefully ignorant of God. I take from your post that I need to read the word. What is the baby? The holy spirit? Or is it being born again?
On the same topic- I am having the most difficulty with submission. At first I thought it was pride, but I think it has to do with being afraid of being lonely by giving up my "self". Can you- or anyone else, please give me a better understanding of the doctor connection? Thanks so much!
1 Corinthians 12 King James Version (KJV)
12 Now concerning spiritual gifts, brethren, I would not have you ignorant.
2 Ye know that ye were Gentiles, carried away unto these dumb idols, even as ye were led.
3 Wherefore I give you to understand, that no man speaking by the Spirit of God calleth Jesus accursed: and that no man can say that Jesus is the Lord, but by the Holy Ghost.
4 Now there are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit.
5 And there are differences of administrations, but the same Lord.
6 And there are diversities of operations, but it is the same God which worketh all in all.
7 But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to every man to profit withal.
8 For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit;
9 To another faith by the same Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit;
10 To another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another discerning of spirits; to another divers kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues:
11 But all these worketh that one and the selfsame Spirit, dividing to every man severally as he will.
12 For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ.
13 For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit.
14 For the body is not one member, but many.
…10but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. 11When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. 12For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known.…
Something changed in me, and I felt a connection with many people, not just one. A feeling of destiny, of something magical as if I had been appointed a mission to do some great thing with another person or that I needed to prophesy to somebody.
Everywhere I went, I prophesied and people cried every time, but now I wished I could apologize to those people, because what was happening to me had nothing to do with them.
I just believed it at the time, that I had some magical destiny with many people.
You're not crazy Han. You just don't want to pick up your double portion mantle and put it on. And that is exactly what you should be doing, especially if (and you know it) Elijah has died and there is no account against him in you, before Abba.
You're not crazy Han. You just don't want to pick up your double portion mantle and put it on. And that is exactly what you should be doing, especially if (and you know it) Elijah has died and there is no account against him in you, before Abba.
Not to be great or have position in this life, but to.communicate something meaningful and personal to individuals as God gives it to you, for them.
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