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This beautiful poem will help you understand the meaning of life. I first read it in high school 54 years ago, and it has always been one of my favorites.
I went to the dances at Chandlerville,
And played snap-out at Winchester.
One time we changed partners,
Driving home in the moonlight of middle June,
And then I found Davis.
We were married and lived together for seventy years,
Enjoying, working, raising the twelve children,
Eight of whom we lost
Ere I had reached the age of sixty.
I spun, I wove, I kept the house, I nursed the sick,
I made the garden, and for holiday
Rambled over the fields where sang the larks,
And by Spoon River gathering many a shell,
And many a flower and medicinal weed —
Shouting to the wooded hills, singing to the green valleys.
At ninety-six I had lived enough, that is all,
And passed to a sweet repose.
What is this I hear of sorrow and weariness,
Anger, discontent and drooping hopes?
Degenerate sons and daughters,
Life is too strong for you —
It takes life to love Life.
Hi BB - as another recent "value" and "meaning" searcher- I have listened to a few self help cds and read a couple of books lately. I'm too naive to tell you which ones might help. But you might want to consider that section of your local library and grab a book or 2 to start. A couple of themes have emerged to me from them. Changing the "me" focus to "we" and living in the moment (and quieting the internal noise) . A visit to your doctor might be a good idea. Some of the nice folks who have posted on God have encouraged my walk also. But I'm learning that it is a relationship with God that blesses us. Hth- Mark
Me too. I've read Quiet, You Can You Will (Joel Osteen), The Gifts of Imperfection, and When Panic Attacks in varying degrees. But none of them really discuss lack of porpoise.
In my journey, the problem has actually been that I am kinda too willing to listen to others. As in, for the longest time, I let other people tell me what my dreams and goals should be. And yes, I do feel I should have an outward focus. But I also can't let parents or "well-intentioned" people dictate my dreams. I need to figure it out.
That said, I'm pathologically depressed, so it may be kinda iffy for awhile.
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To the OP:
It sounds like you are depressed. How long have you felt this way? I've struggled with depression at times during my life. It can be very debilitating. Don't be afraid to talk to a therapist if you want to go that route. Watch out for antidepressants, they can have very dangerous side effects and there is little evidence that they work any better than a placebo.
To answer the question, I have struggled with depression of several types:
1. Gender dysphoria (I have a therapist, and have talked with her about this. I have realized over time that I don't hate my body as much, but I am gender fluid. I do however want to be able to present as a woman, so I am actively trying to change my gender and name)
2. Generalized gloom (I generally sometimes am depressed with no real cause)
3. Work anxiety (some of this is due to the above two, I have a pretty gloomy outlook of life in general, and so I don't have much staying power or BS tolerance)
4. Existential anxiety (I get gloomy about really weird philosophy stuff, like the notion that solipsism is real and nobody but me exists)
5. Displacement (Moved to a few towns throughout my life, so I get really messed up when I have to move from an area. And I generally feel like an outsider, like, where I go)
Amazingly, I have never cut my wrists and generally my suicide attempts extend to cross-country trips to find a nice place to quietly disappear.
I do not take drugs either, which is even more amazing, that I'm mostly high-functioning. This is largely by possibly being wrongly diagnosed as ADD (when I later tried life without the pills, I had no real impact on my attention span, leading me to believe it actually was childhood depression/displacement distracting me from schoolwork). And more medicines for seizures (also not necessary, rolandic seizures, which are generally outgrown by adulthood).
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Don't look to others for you're life's purpose. Here's the truth. Your life is entirely meaningless. The people on this board do not know you, nor do we truly care who you are. If you were to die tomorrow, none of us on this board would no the difference. In fact, most people wouldn't know the difference. Honestly, if you were to die, nothing would happen to nearly all people on Earth. Your friends and family would be devastated, but eventually they'll get on with their lives. You were not born to do anything.
I believe the purpose of one's life is to make a purpose. You are right, that there is no point by default, but I believe the way some people make a difference is that they come up with one, and work towards it, no matter what people think. I guess then, my issue is twofold.
1. I don't feel like anything I've worked towards, I've stuck with. So I feel like a failure.
2. The whole nobody mourning me, I'm kinda upset about that very thing. Going through this life alone.
Feeling beautiful is hard. I need dolphin shoes.
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Well, OK, so you are a Christian so that means you believe in Heaven.
For me what gives my life pleasure is working towards Heaven, better understanding how to work towards Heaven, sort of guiding people there or preventing people from being unguided from there, and developing those skills I can take with me to Heaven. Notice, nothing of what gives me purpose is attached to work i.e. there probably is no work in Heaven so I can't do it there why would I worry about it here (I work as an accountant nothing special and boring as all helk but a nice thirty hour work week).
So much of your original post was about work, it seems where you are fumbling is seeing work as the source of purpose in your life instead of just a way to pay for your bills. Can I recommend making your purpose in life separate from what you do for a living? I honestly could be happy flipping burgers or retail with the right co-workers so long as I could afford to pay my bills and have enough to pursue little adventures and hobbies.
So make work just about paying bills and make purpose something separate from it.
I'm not a Christian, so much as a "follower of Christ." I don't accept church dogma beyond the creed, I follow Jesus because I love Jesus. I have a personal emotional connection with God, Nature, and the Universe. I don't believe in Heaven or Hell, I believe in an Afterlife, which mirrors your own state and changes to fit (if you're sad, Afterlife becomes depressing). That and I'm pantheist. God is part of everything to me, including the posts of random people (you've been helpful).
It's just the opposite. I want a job that is part-time, low maintenance, and allows me free time to pursue my actual dreams (and decide what those are). But the past three major jobs I've had have been overmanaging, despite being "part-time." Like "would you be available for weekends? Holidays? Late nights?" No! Okay?!? Not unless I literally cannot find anything else. I'm tired of rotating schedules, being on-call, or just have a job that is supposed to be part-time leave me with no way to schedule an actual life. I'll work up to 8 hours a day, 3-5 days a week, the same days, then stop calling me, bothering me with sudden changes, and otherwise running my life. I wanna go home, do laundry, shop, goto church, have a social life, and attend to hobbies and work towards dreams. Not have a schedule where I cannot go to school if I want to, cannot visit family or friends, cannot even get me car fixed because they are closed when the job is over.
So, yea, now I'm unemployed, and trying to find a job where I can have a sense of purpose (or have time spare to pursue it), and doing extremely wary jobhunting.
Last edited by bulmabriefs144; 01-25-2015 at 10:12 PM..
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.... Am in resonant agreement with Freak80: You are expressing having a profoundly difficult time of it at present, yet it's clear you are a good person. Just one with a huge question: Is there nothing more? Am way short on wisdom here, only 61 years young. Perhaps when hitting 120 I may be there with the answers... though the way I happened to handle the place you are in when going through my early 20s was to open myself up & ask for the real purpose of my life to become real to me. That in itself took some trust, faith, hope. In my case, it became clearer & clearer as time went on that the name of the game was not becoming something. It was discovering what we are in the first place.
.....There are people who you likely can see at little or no cost. Just asking the right questions can lead to them answering themselves sometimes. Hope this helps, man. Am rooting for you, hang tough. You are not alone... far from it.
I'm one of those people who think knowledge isn't going to give you emotion (even if learning sometimes can). Emotion gives you Emotion. Understand the Mind and Body and how to best control it for emotions and moods that you want. It's a hard path, but education and optimism can help. It's a complex interconnect between mind and emotion. The path of "external nihilism" might be difficult to follow in matters of mood and spirituality for some, but perseverance and understanding the wonder (or reality) of the value in "synthetic" meaning might be the first baby steps in gaining a better mood all-around and an understanding of "internal totalism" as opposed to worrying about "external nihilism." If you need God, and start to imagine God helping you, and how you can help God (or any others) help you, you might begin to awaken form this dark night of the soul (I'm only saying this monotheist stuff because it's strongly personal to you and the culture around you, and so might help the best and be the most pertinent to you, but the choices are up to you). Become again as a child, full of wonder and awe at new things and new thoughts, and new possibilities. Good luck (or carpe-diem)! My good thoughts and best hopes are sent to you! (That's psychology for you). We are all in this together.
Last edited by LuminousTruth; 01-26-2015 at 01:18 AM..
This dolphinately sounds like a plan! I'm gonna get me some dolphin shoes! Damn animal rights activists everywhere! Also, you're abit odd. But whatever, I got a different perspective now.
Take it from a man that has been there, dolphin shoes is the only thing you have when you get desperate as me. You aint there yet, but I have lived there for decades alone.
A bit odd?
That's to say the least.
Stop what you are doing and go on a vacation, and obtain that special feeling of being on vacation. A person feels so special in a new city on vacation, so free, so new.
The trick is to bring the feeling of vacation home with you, this is not your city, this is not your home.
Your on vacation.
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