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I was raised Mormon and My husband was raised Atheists. Neither of us goes to church now nor have any type of believe. I loved being involved in church when I was younger. I am not sure if I should make my children go to church or if I should even teach them about God. I feel like telling them to go to church makes my husband and I a hypocrite. But, I also feel like if I don’t encourage them they will be missing out. Does religion really matter? Should I make them go to church? Any advice will help.
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I was raised Mormon and My husband was raised Atheists. Neither of us goes to church now nor have any type of believe. I loved being involved in church when I was younger. I am not sure if I should make my children go to church or if I should even teach them about God. I feel like telling them to go to church makes my husband and I a hypocrite. But, I also feel like if I don’t encourage them they will be missing out. Does religion really matter? Should I make them go to church? Any advice will help.
Well, Wennifer...I can tell you my experiences if you like. I am atheist, and my ex-husband and his family are Christians. My ex-husband wasn't much of a church goer, but his family was. When we had our kids, we talked about this and we decided to let the kids choose. As they grew up and came into contact with people from various religions they would occasionally have questions about it. So we would talk with them and present a basic view of what those people believed.
Both of them eventually asked "What do we believe?" and we told them that they had to look at all they had learned and decide for themselves, because everyone is different. Then came the question "What do you believe, mom/dad?" and each of us sat with them and explained what we believed. At each of these discussions the children were encouraged to make up their own minds, and told if they ever decided they wanted to go to a church with their friends or have us take them to a church, we would.
Both my son and my daughter did ask at various times to attend church with friends or family, and they were allowed and even encouraged to do so in order to expand their knowledge. They're grown now, and one is a Unitarian and the other is a Buddhist.
Raising my children to think and decide for themselves is what worked for me.
I was raised Mormon and My husband was raised Atheists. Neither of us goes to church now nor have any type of believe. I loved being involved in church when I was younger. I am not sure if I should make my children go to church or if I should even teach them about God. I feel like telling them to go to church makes my husband and I a hypocrite. But, I also feel like if I don’t encourage them they will be missing out. Does religion really matter? Should I make them go to church? Any advice will help.
We found that going to a Unitarian Universalist church works for us. We don't go all that often, but my older daughter loves it. We go there to meet other liberal people (we live in a very conservative area and it's been hard to meet people we don't shock with our views ) and we feel that they present exposure to lots of different religions without pushing one in particular. Our church (and most of the UU churches I've been to) are very involved in environmental issues so that's also a nice benefit. We like to take our kids because they really like it (my older daughter is a social butterfly -- unlike her mom and dad), but if they didn't want to go we wouldn't push the issue. Good luck finding what works best for you!
Yea, you're the best judge on your family's religious beliefs, and obviously not hung-up on specifics. As a parent, you teach morals and ethics. The correct religion will find your child all by itself. I'd request you teach your children tolerance, respect, and the ability to have an open mind and critical thought. Sounds like you're planning that. Thanks!
I was raised Mormon and My husband was raised Atheists. Neither of us goes to church now nor have any type of believe. I loved being involved in church when I was younger. I am not sure if I should make my children go to church or if I should even teach them about God. I feel like telling them to go to church makes my husband and I a hypocrite. But, I also feel like if I don’t encourage them they will be missing out. Does religion really matter? Should I make them go to church? Any advice will help.
In my opinion, I think it matters, I was raised in a Christian home and I am so thankful for that. My parents truly lived out what they professed. I don't think you should make your kids go, but I think you should take them, it is important.
That's an interesting question. You know, I was never brought to church as a kid. My parents did believe in God but didn't really care about church. Sometimes when asking my mom a question her reply would be "God said so, did so, etc.." Finally when I grew to about the age of 6 or 7, I made the connection (although a childish assumption) that god is in a church or something to that effect. I asked my mom and dad to take me to church. They did and enrolled me in Sunday school. I didn't last long and quickly lost interest in it. I remember getting kicked out of Sunday school for calling the Pope "The Poop" and that about ended my church career until I attempted to seek it out in my mid-teens. I'd say at that point I was closest in my life to trying to find some sort of "mastery" behind everything but I just couldn't get past the idea that children all over the world were taught about completely different ideas of God and that trying to adhere to one set standard was quite ridiculous. It was with that that I began a rather quick journey towards atheism.
What I'm getting at is that your kids will eventually learn about God in some way. Whether a kid at school tells them about it, an evangelical tries to convert them, or they see it on TV, they will pick it up and they may ask you to take them to church. I think at their behest it is necessary to do so, but I don't think it should just be a "given" that you take your kids to church. If they're interested they'll ask. If they aren't they won't. I feel sad for the child who was "raised a Christian" or "raised a Muslim" because they haven't really made the choice for themself, they've only become indoctrinated into it.
Like most things, I think it's a matter of opinion and what you think will work for your family.
My parents did not go to church but they sent us to catholic schools and to church until we were 13. I never asked but I assume that they thought we needed some sort of religious base in our lives. It did not harm me, to my knowledge
I do think that you can teach your children a code of morality? ethics? without settling on one religion.
When I turned 13, I actually enjoyed going to a variety of churches. I don't think that's a bad idea. Your children could see what is available and then make up their own minds.
Quote:
ESFP said : I'd request you teach your children tolerance, respect, and the ability to have an open mind and critical thought.
You should encourage them to know the true saviour Jesus Christ!
She should present them as many differing viewpoints as she can, and encourage them to think for themselves rather than just accept what someone tells them is true.
Well, Wennifer...I can tell you my experiences if you like. I am atheist, and my ex-husband and his family are Christians. My ex-husband wasn't much of a church goer, but his family was. When we had our kids, we talked about this and we decided to let the kids choose. As they grew up and came into contact with people from various religions they would occasionally have questions about it. So we would talk with them and present a basic view of what those people believed.
Both of them eventually asked "What do we believe?" and we told them that they had to look at all they had learned and decide for themselves, because everyone is different. Then came the question "What do you believe, mom/dad?" and each of us sat with them and explained what we believed. At each of these discussions the children were encouraged to make up their own minds, and told if they ever decided they wanted to go to a church with their friends or have us take them to a church, we would.
Both my son and my daughter did ask at various times to attend church with friends or family, and they were allowed and even encouraged to do so in order to expand their knowledge. They're grown now, and one is a Unitarian and the other is a Buddhist.
Raising my children to think and decide for themselves is what worked for me.
I like that! I'm sort of agnostic/spiritual and my partner is Catholic, but I think mainly for the reason that he can attend Mass at his convenience with all the different times. Anyway, we'll be having twins in a few months (via surrogate/egg donor) and religion has come up.
My parents are nutty evangelicals (you can imagine how great our relationship is) and they think you have to get babies into church the Sunday after they're born. Personally I see that as brainwashing, and obviously I wouldn't take my kids to any church my parents agree with. I also think it's important for my kids to understand Christianity to be better equipped to deal with its cultural aspects later in life. So we've sort of decided on a very liberal Presbyterian church that several neighbors attend that focuses on love and global/local community outreach. They accept gay people as they are and definitely aren't into the evangelical/Bible literalism thing. At least this way I won't feel like my kids are being brainwashed or taught anything I totally disagree with.
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) and we feel that they present exposure to lots of different religions without pushing one in particular. Our church (and most of the UU churches I've been to) are very involved in environmental issues so that's also a nice benefit. We like to take our kids because they really like it (my older daughter is a social butterfly -- unlike her mom and dad
), but if they didn't want to go we wouldn't push the issue. Good luck finding what works best for you!
) and they think you have to get babies into church the Sunday after they're born. Personally I see that as brainwashing, and obviously I wouldn't take my kids to any church my parents agree with. I also think it's important for my kids to understand Christianity to be better equipped to deal with its cultural aspects later in life. So we've sort of decided on a very liberal Presbyterian church that several neighbors attend that focuses on love and global/local community outreach. They accept gay people as they are and definitely aren't into the evangelical/Bible literalism thing. At least this way I won't feel like my kids are being brainwashed or taught anything I totally disagree with.
