Can religious teachings be flexible in its application to everyday life?

[mordant]

Originally Posted by travric

Well I'd think each marriage is very unique. What works for one will not work for another. The couples involved are involved on a journey and the journey could be difficult. In the Catholic faith, the fact of God blessing the marriage is not said simply in passing or as an aside. I wouldn't call it vague hand-waving. It is made with full sincerity to see the marriage grow and the two individuals increase their love for another and their family.

Sure ... I agree that each marriage is different, needs different ingredients for success, and it may be hard or easy. Also, I think each one may or may not succeed. Also, I think all of that is not impacted a bit by blessing or cursing or gods or devils.

Part of this also depends on your goals in marriage. The romantic ideal of being married for love is actually a pretty recent development, creating expectations that never even existed before, or at least no one had the temerity to consider them central. If it worked out that you had an enjoyable, loving, give and take, fine, but a few generations ago it was much more common for marriage to just be a pragmatic mechanism to encourage men to protect their families and feed them. People had lots of kids because they actually expected many of them to die and they had to hedge against that. These low expectations combined with strong divorce taboos meant that most marriages did not dissolve, but it did not mean that they were a positive experience for anyone concerned.

For this reason I suspect that people such as myself who grew up dreaming of marital bliss and happiness and smoothness, who actually thought marriage should be a mutual refuge from the storms of life rather than an incubator for drama and conflict, were doomed to be disappointed.

What the church should do is just quit with all the marketing slime and be honest. Premarital counseling should consist of, "you are going to have all the problems and issues with your life in marriage that you do now, only they will be magnified, plus you will have to deal with the often conflicting problems and issues your spouse has. Your duty is to make babies who will have yet additional issues, will probably not thank you for your pains, and will grow up to rinse and repeat this whole process. You may or (more likely) may not enjoy the process. Now, may god bless you in this endeavor. But he might or might not."

Of course that wouldn't be too appealing to the star-eyed lovers and would cut down on the ol' collection plate revenues.

[travric]

What the church should do is just quit with all the marketing slime and be honest.

[/quote]

Well all I can say to the issue is that there are so-called 'pre-cana' meetings between those who are going to get married in the Church. That is where those issues you noted can be discussed. Of course, no 'guarantees' as such at all in the outcome of the marriage. One of life's myriad unknowns. I know you'd like a more solidified closure but it ain't going to happen.