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Old 02-13-2016, 07:20 AM
 
12,918 posts, read 16,854,254 times
Reputation: 5434

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I have decided to become a fundamentalist Christian. Yessir! Sign me up.

During this mid-February holiday weekend I look ahead to the day when I shall reveal to you all the truth behind what I say to you today. I'll say it in about 6 weeks. Ballpark figure.

So please don't think me a "fool" because I might know just a little bit more than what you are thinking at the moment. (Trust me, you will get it.)
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Old 02-13-2016, 07:31 AM
 
8,005 posts, read 7,211,328 times
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Hope you don't, God forbid, die in the interim six weeks and miss your ride to the Pearly Gates. So close but missed it because you chose to wait to commit.
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Old 02-13-2016, 08:19 AM
 
28,432 posts, read 11,567,423 times
Reputation: 2070
Quote:
Originally Posted by OzzyRules View Post
I have decided to become a fundamentalist Christian. Yessir! Sign me up.

During this mid-February holiday weekend I look ahead to the day when I shall reveal to you all the truth behind what I say to you today. I'll say it in about 6 weeks. Ballpark figure.

So please don't think me a "fool" because I might know just a little bit more than what you are thinking at the moment. (Trust me, you will get it.)
I get it ... from real brain state corrections, learning the enemy, and comedy. It is what it is.
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Old 02-13-2016, 08:20 AM
 
Location: Ontario, Canada
31,373 posts, read 20,168,052 times
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Six weeks would put it right around April 1st....

Arq tried it last year and fooled a few folks.
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Old 02-13-2016, 08:30 AM
 
2,826 posts, read 2,366,623 times
Reputation: 1011
Oh, c'mon Ozzy. Nobody is gonna take this seriously.

But you should join the non-fundamentalist Christians anyway. Unlike the atheists and the fundies, we have cakes and pies. And fried chicken.





Tempting you with delicious pastries!
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Old 02-13-2016, 08:57 AM
 
19,942 posts, read 17,180,832 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OzzyRules View Post
I have decided to become a fundamentalist Christian. Yessir! Sign me up.
Can you please define what you mean by "fundamentalist Christian"?
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Old 02-13-2016, 10:28 AM
 
2,826 posts, read 2,366,623 times
Reputation: 1011
Not all Christians believe the Earth was made literally in 7 days, or that all gay must die, and women are servants of their husbands.

Some of them read the bible and decide some of it was a result of stupid people, and the gist of it (grace and forgiveness, loving others, stuff like that) is what is more important. That the Bible was written by humans inspired by God, not by God. Fundamentalists believe in the infallible literal translation of the Bible. The rest of Christians... don't.

Christian fundamentalists are driving our country into the Dark Ages

http://www.forwardprogressives.com/d...re-like-jesus/
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Old 02-13-2016, 10:49 AM
 
Location: On the brink of WWIII
21,088 posts, read 29,206,191 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vizio View Post
Can you please define what you mean by "fundamentalist Christian"?
Here is my definition...fundies on the left, others on the right..
Attached Thumbnails
Right now you might think the joke is on ME, however...-naked_god_boxed.jpg  
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Old 02-13-2016, 11:04 AM
 
1,788 posts, read 1,171,502 times
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There are 667 paths that lead to God.
666 of those paths are a lie and lead else where.
Only 1 path leads to God and that's by His Son Jesus.

~choose you're path wisely.
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Old 02-13-2016, 11:26 AM
 
Location: Ontario, Canada
31,373 posts, read 20,168,052 times
Reputation: 14069
Quote:
Originally Posted by HushWhisper View Post
There are 667 paths that lead to God.
666 of those paths are a lie and lead else where.
Only 1 path leads to God and that's by His Son Jesus.

~choose you're path wisely.
Wrong.

Again/still.

But keep trying to convince yourself.
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