Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Semantics. We're talking about a parent/child relationship, not the age of the person. How is going to your CHILD's wedding not treating them as an adult? How is going to your child's wedding impeding him from having the skills to make his own choices and deal with the consequences?
You are stuck on child. Still!
The problem is you do not recognize that a relationship with a grown man is different than a relationship with a little boy. Do you call your boss a child? Or a little boy? If you did how might he respond and why? You seem not to recognize that the emotional maturity and work of an adult is developmentally different than that of a child.
Trauma arrests emotional development and it stops frozen in time at the age the trauma occurred. Unless and until a person tends to the healing work necessary to address the trauma they stay stuck emotionally at that age. For an adult to equate disappointment with causing harm, and to stay fixated on harming children speaks to some unresolved pain at a young age.
The problem is you do not recognize that a relationship with a grown man is different than a relationship with a little boy. Do you call your boss a child? Or a little boy? If you did how might he respond and why? You seem not to recognize that the emotional maturity and work of an adult is developmentally different than that of a child.
Trauma arrests emotional development and it stops frozen in time at the age the trauma occurred. Unless and until a person tends to the healing work necessary to address the trauma they stay stuck emotionally at that age. For an adult to equate disappointment with causing harm, and to stay fixated on harming children speaks to some unresolved pain at a young age.
Last 3 of my posts before you posted this ^^^:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pleroo
"Son" is just a gender-specific word for "child". Would it help you if I just said "offspring"? That's a synonym for "child", but if it would help you to understand, I can do that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pleroo
How is going to your offspring's wedding not treating them as an adult? How is going to your offspring's wedding impeding him from having the skills to make his own choices and deal with the consequences?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pleroo
Please, explain how NOT attending your offspring's wedding was being supportive of his marriage?
The problem is you do not recognize that a relationship with a grown man is different than a relationship with a little boy. Do you call your boss a child? Or a little boy? If you did how might he respond and why? You seem not to recognize that the emotional maturity and work of an adult is developmentally different than that of a child.
Trauma arrests emotional development and it stops frozen in time at the age the trauma occurred. Unless and until a person tends to the healing work necessary to address the trauma they stay stuck emotionally at that age. For an adult to equate disappointment with causing harm, and to stay fixated on harming children speaks to some unresolved pain at a young age.
It seems you are the one who is stuck. We are not saying he is, literally, a child. He is YOUR child. Do you not understand the difference? Pleroo went out of the way to explain it, and change the word used, as well.
The problem is you do not recognize that a relationship with a grown man is different than a relationship with a little boy. Do you call your boss a child? Or a little boy? If you did how might he respond and why? You seem not to recognize that the emotional maturity and work of an adult is developmentally different than that of a child.
How many different ways can I say to you that I did not use the word "child" to denote "a young age", but simply a relationship of parent to offspring/progeny?
Quote:
Trauma arrests emotional development and it stops frozen in time at the age the trauma occurred. Unless and until a person tends to the healing work necessary to address the trauma they stay stuck emotionally at that age. For an adult to equate disappointment with causing harm, and to stay fixated on harming children speaks to some unresolved pain at a young age.
When a parent refuses to attend their progeny's wedding, they are causing their adult offspring emotional pain. What did you think you were accomplishing when you refused to attend your adult son's wedding that made you feel that was worthwhile?
Because he has to suffer the consequences of her disapproval. She did not approve of his wife, the ceremony, the wedding colors, the cake, the flowers the location.......or something.
He was a bad boy, and mom is teaching him a lesson by not going to his wedding. Her approval is his responsibility.
Again not accurate. Again speaking for people . Again talking at people . Again entirely your own thoughts and views and no one else's certainly not mine.
Again not accurate. Again speaking for people . Again talking at people . Again entirely your own thoughts and views and no one else's certainly not mine.
Explain how she was wrong? Seemed pretty close to the mark to me!
It seems you are the one who is stuck. We are not saying he is, literally, a child. He is YOUR child. Do you not understand the difference? Pleroo went out of the way to explain it, and change the word used, as well.
Emotionally distancing herself from them. They are not children so they cannot be harmed by her emotional rejection of them. That way one does not have any responsibility for their pain. It is on them.
Nice trick if you can get your children to buy into it.
....When a parent refuses to attend their progeny's wedding, they are causing their adult offspring emotional pain. What did you think you were accomplishing when you refused to attend your adult son's wedding that made you feel that was worthwhile?
I would not have been comfortable attending the wedding for religious reasons so I did not go. What I accomplished was being true to myself. That is also the behavior and value that i am modeling for my son.
Last edited by Tzaphkiel; 02-13-2017 at 03:14 PM..
Again not accurate. Again speaking for people . Again talking at people . Again entirely your own thoughts and views and no one else's certainly not mine.
It is sad when parents attempt to shore up their rejecton....name the reason... and try to put it on the shoulders of their children.
The LGBTQ community sees this all the time although other families are not immune.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
