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Old 11-17-2017, 06:46 PM
 
Location: Colorado Springs
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Most people (including Christians) can't even figure out life on earth, but they seem to know all about heaven.
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Old 11-17-2017, 06:51 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mordant View Post
For some crazy reason this made me think of a fictional story related by our Sunday School superintendent when I was a youngster, in which a little boy asked if there would be fried chicken in heaven -- apparently the lad could not imagine heaven without it. Of course the scriptures don't address this so he was assured that there would be all he'd want in heaven because if there's anything good, it'll be there.

And THAT reminded me of a joke about an old guy who dies in a car accident with his wife and Peter shows them their heavenly mansion and points to a table full of delicious food just for them. The man says, no, he can't eat it ... it would be bad for his cholesterol. And Peter explains, you don't understand, this is heaven, you can eat anything you want and it won't harm you.

At this the old duffer pitches a complete fit and swears up an embarrassing blue streak. His wife calms him down and asks what on earth -- er, in heaven -- got into him.

Says he: "If it weren't for your god__ned bran muffins, we could have been here ten years ago!"

All of which brings us to the Christian position on sex (pun slightly intended), which is totally different from what is imagined about food, which fundamentalism has not demonized. Fundies can imagine a heaven with gluttony, but not with sexual passion. Nope. Entirely different story. As BF points out, you can't be "as the angels in heaven" and have sex. However ... as it was explained to me, our relationships will be far more satisfying and meaningful than sex could ever provide, so expect there to be some spiritual payoff that is better than sex. I hope that promise pans out better than the ones offered here earthside.

Now when it comes to sex in a hypothetical afterlife, I'm with Shirina's somewhat whimsical objection -- it's highly overrated to begin with and would be regulated in the heavenly theocracy to such an extent that it would be a non-starter anyway. So I'm indifferent about it. My concerns about heaven are more philosophical -- that every eternity eventually becomes its own hell.
^Don’t mean to derail this thread but this reminded me of something I just mentioned to someone today! We were talking about Thanksgiving and I mentioned that I was ‘good’ as I had had Thanksgiving lunch at one of my schools, and that I had satisfied my desire for mashed potatoes, stuffing and gravy, and that the mashed potatoes were ‘heavenly’ as I always describe them. Many years ago a colleague and I were extolling the virtues of mashed potatoes and she had recounted that as a child she had asked her mother “if there were mashed potatoes in heaven”... LOL. Children have very specific priorities!
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Old 11-17-2017, 06:58 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mordant View Post
Um ... so there will be no poop in heaven.

Good to know, especially if there's no plumbing.

Somehow it's not a topic that ever occurred to me.
No poop...but it’s going to smell like a locker room?
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Old 11-17-2017, 07:15 PM
Status: "Doing art again." (set 2 days ago)
 
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Yea I agree sex can be very pure and divine.

Quote:
Originally Posted by charlygal View Post
Sex with what bodies?

By the way, sex can be saintly and pure.
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Old 11-17-2017, 07:33 PM
 
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
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Originally Posted by charlygal View Post
Sex with what bodies?

By the way, sex can be saintly and pure.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiethegreat View Post
Yea I agree sex can be very pure and divine.
Sex is heaven!
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Old 11-17-2017, 08:18 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zthatzmanz28 View Post
what does marriage have to do with sex? What is the connection?
It was important to keep the paternity straight.
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Old 11-17-2017, 08:20 PM
 
Location: Northeastern US
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Originally Posted by tangelag View Post
No poop...but it’s going to smell like a locker room?
Lol ... yeah I guess so, with all that sweating.
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Old 11-17-2017, 09:22 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Shirina View Post
I know, right?

That's actually one of the things I really despise about religion -- it is utterly devoid of any kind of humor, fun, or light-heartedness.

It's always so serious and somber and, quite frankly, joyless.
Hmmm... You ever heard of The Dark Bible? very entertaining read.
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Old 11-17-2017, 09:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by phetaroi View Post
Most people (including Christians) can't even figure out life on earth, but they seem to know all about heaven.

well that's because Bible gives promise of the better life AFTER death. Really, there is no difference much in what one should expect. Also, I'll take it back. So does Islam. great rewards after. Not much NOW.
Rewards are quite simple. Much more and better quality of what one could not have while alive. Whatever keeps donkey moving. Carrot on stick.
And if it not of promise of physical reward (rivers of wine, not a single female older than 16 and of course of angelic beauty), then it is reward of the vanity nature. Sitting by the god right hand. At the head of the table. Of course. Feeling important.
Then what?


But to OP question. No. there is no sex in heaven, as there are no sex organs in heaven. Matter of fact, there are no sexual thoughts in heaven. NONE. Sorry, not your cup of tea. Maybe Valhalla? Said to be rather a non stop party with lots of booze and bodily pleasures. Will that work?
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Old 11-17-2017, 09:35 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tangelag View Post
What if heaven is divided into as many parts as there are believers AND non?
Believe it or not, Islamic doctrine of Heaven is actually divided, not exactly in parts, but in levels.
Folks will be housed in one of the 7 levels as per their success grade.

And then you know, it's God's heaven. He can enter anyone into heaven he wants. And who knows even if some non-believers also make it to heaven due to some good deeds they have done in this life? - Let's hope it's not a Christian heaven without sex or else it would sound more like a punishment for not believing.
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