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Old 01-04-2019, 09:02 AM
 
Location: Missouri, USA
5,671 posts, read 4,349,619 times
Reputation: 2610

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Here's how it goes:

The God of Light was born with the big bang. His body is all physical matter and the better understood forms of energy like light. His body is also heat. He's somewhat omniscient, but not entirely. He was born as a confused, energetic being into a world of darkness. That darkness was populated by the gods of the void. The gods of the void have bodies made of nothingness and the void of deep space, and cold.


There wasn't enough room for both sorts of gods, so the God of Light began pushing away the gods of the void, waking them up from their preferred state of eternal slumber, and annoying them heavily. That was when the two gods started bickering.


The God of Light is ambitious, passionate, impulsive, idealistic, energetic, very driven, rash, vengeful, deeply loving, deeply hating, and voraciously hungry for new experiences and interesting adventures.


The gods of the void are slow, ancient, careful, realistic, coldly rational, cautious, unemotional, and empathetic in a kind of cold, detached, "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few" kind of way.



The God of Light and the gods of the void very quickly began fighting with each other, with the God of Light trying to burn them, and the gods of the void trying to freeze him. Both sides won, and lost, in different ways. The God of Light pushed back the gods of the void, and was able to carve out a space for itself in its newfound universe. The gods of the void retreated...but some of them remained, in the spaces between things, in the spaces between particles, where they could continue to tamper with the plans of the God of Light. In modern times they're still here, both around the visible universe and in the spaces between galaxies, and stars, and planets, and molecules, and subatomic particles, tampering with the God of Light's plans.



It turned out, though, that the war was probably for the best, for the God of Light. The gods of the void calmed and cooled it enough so that it could begin to build. It built its first atoms by smashing together stuff. The God of Light was actually trying to destroy that stuff, but after it had cooled itself down, it no longer had the energy to destroy everything around it, so the stuff it kept trying to break just kind of ended up sticking to a lot of the other stuff it crashed that stuff into to try to break it.



That's how the God of Light made its first stars...crashing stuff together to try to break it, being unsuccessful, and just making it stick to other stuff.



The God of Light loved the stars it invented, so it made a lot of them. They were easy to make too - just basically, very, very compacted balls of...whatever it found lying around. They were the sorts of great, big, long term nuclear explosions that fascinated the God of light. They were pretty, and the God of Light liked pretty things, and the God of Light liked explosions too, so they were about everything it wanted. For several billion years, stars were more than enough entertainment for the God of Light...but then it started to get bored. It had also calmed and cooled a little more over the eons, becoming just a little more like the gods of the void, and it became more contemplative - contemplative enough to be able to build more complex stuff. Therefore, because it was bored, it started to build more stuff, out of rocks. It built lots of pretty minerals, but it found minerals were much more boring than stars.They hardly ever exploded at all, so it became a bit of a scientist and started tinkering until it made rocks that could do interesting things like move. The God of Light really liked that, so it tried to get them to do other interesting things. Once it got them to start eating each other, it became absolutely thrilled.



The watching gods of the void, on the other hand, reeled in horror at the Darwinian maelstrom the God of Light had created, which consisted of basically a big mass of stuff that kept devouring and destroying everything around it, including stuff that was almost exactly like itself. It broke lots of the pretty minerals the God of Light had created before. It spewed poisonous toxins everywhere. Earth, and some other planets, became like great big gladiatoral arenas that all existed for the amusement of the God of Light. The gods of the void were more convinced than ever that this madness had to end.



The God of Light was by no means done though. He kept experimenting for several billion more years, inventing lots of neat diseases and various sorts of abominations...sometimes because of intentional attempts, and other times just because he wondered, "Huh...I wonder what this line of genetic code does. Oh, that causes cancer. That's kinda' neat," and stuff like that.



Once he created feeling organisms, he loved that more than ever, because he could not just watch them, but, kind of, dive into their bodies and feel what they felt, giving him lots of new, fun experiences. He remembered how much he'd liked his stars, so wondered what they might look like to his creations, so he gave them eyes...and when his creations looked at the local star, they usually died or went blind, but not all of them did. The ones that survived that tended to be better protected from radiation.



The God of Light found that the local star was still too far away for his creations to get a good view of it though. He knew the land contained mountains, so his next idea was to try to tempt fish to climb mountains so they get a better view of the local star, which didn't work out too well...but some of the wider, less enthusiastic survivors who made it to land, but looked at the mountains and figured, "Nope...I'm not doing that," in their primitive, fishy, instinctive sort of way" ended up having fins that could climb over land.



The God Light still had a major interest in seeing the local star through the eyes of life he'd created though, and wasn't giving up. His next project was the creation of wings. He figured, the trying to climb to see the sun was too slow. Wings could get up high faster. They couldn't fly high enough, and he couldn't figure out how to get them to fly very high at all, so he finally gave up and went back to focusing on finding interesting new ways to destroy stuff, which eventually led to him throwing a large comet at the Earth to see what would happen. It led to a very satisfying "BOOM!" sound. The God of Light liked that...but was sad to have found that most of his toys had gotten broken as a result of that, so he went to work making new ones.



Eventually, he made the ape-ish organisms. They weren't apes, but they were ape-ish. They had fur, two dexterous hand, and two dexterous feet. They lacked the long tails of their genetic relatives. They lived in trees with their families, where most scary couldn't reach them, where could be happy and safe. The God of Light found that boring though. It liked it better to watch them running from giant cats across the plains on their stumpy little legs. The God of Light would laugh, and laugh, watching them run, so it started changing the climate so it could take away most of their trees.


The God of Light laughed and laughed, watching the stumble around everywhere, trying to run from giant cats and things. One day, though, one of the ape-ish critters got fed up with running. It realized, "This is not the most strategically sound strategy...this attempting to run from a cheetah." (or whatever was physiologically closest to cheetahs back then) It picked up a sharp stick instead, and right when the cheetah-ish cat was about to bite it, the ape-ish critter poked the cheetah-ish critter in the eye with its pointy stick, and the cheetah-ish cat went, "Ouch!" in ancient cheetah-ish cat language, and it ran away, surprised, and greatly annoyed.



And the God of Light said to itself, "Hooray! I found a new way to hurt stuff!" and that was why the God of Light decided to help the ape-ish critters learn to use tools. It gave them a mutation that weakened their jaws, but let their brains grow bigger, so they could build all sorts of neat inventions. Eventually, they learned about fire, which the God of Light loved greatly, because now they could not just hurt stuff, but burn stuff too. They also invented stories, and music, and all sorts of neat ideas. They developed complex imaginations, which allowed the God of Light to experience all sorts of fun things.



Eventually, those ape-ish critters would finally invent ways to better see the sun...through their telescopes. The God of Light is still looking for new adventures though...and that's why so many people dream of colonizing Mars, and spreading across the galaxy, and winning the Olympics, and rock-climbing without ropes, and doing all sorts of difficult, but interesting, activities...because there's a psychopath whispering into our ears, trying to get us go on all sorts of adventures.



The God of Light wants us to go to Mars...right now. It doesn't particularly care if we catapult ourselves there, and 99% of us miss the planet entirely and go careening off into the void of space, and the ones who hit the target just...kind of...splatter all over its surface. It would prefer to see what it feels like to set foot on Mars...but it would also just like to see it from human eyes, and you only need someone to be careening through its atmosphere for that.



Every winner of the Darwin awards won their award because they listened too much to the God of Light. Fortunately, we're not just influenced by the God of Light. We're also influenced by the gods of the void, who are still meddling in the God of Light's affairs, trying to calm everything down.



The end goal of the gods of the void is for everything to die though, and they may have found a way of succeeding in that, by using dark energy to push the universe apart, until everything is so spread apart that no more reactions will ever occur again, and then they can go back to sleep, and nothing will suffer anymore.



So, we are guided by two creators, whispering things into our brains. One of them wants us to leap into Jupiter's red spot, because that would be cool. The other just kind of wants us to find some way to go to sleep and not wake up again. We're sort of the middle ground between the two. Without life, there'd be no suffering, but we'd lack the joys of life as well. When young children burn ants with magnifying glasses...that's becuase of influence of the God of Light, but when people go dancing, and laugh, that's becuase of the God of Light too...that's him wanting to feel our passions, so encouraging us to have more of those passions - encouraging us to live and to create life. To live means to experience the joys of life, but it also means to destroy, and experience suffering.



And either of the types of gods could be wrong. Neither are all-knowing. They just have their views. We hear their advice through our emotions. One voice says, "calm down, be realistic, suppress your emotions." the other says, "Think of how wonderful that would be! Be driven! Be impassioned! Seize the day!"


We can also figure out their philosophical views, with a bit of thought. The gods of the void, because they can't figure out a way to get everything to die yet, are advising: "Think of the greater good. Think like machines. We're all one being. Do what's best for the super organism called life." The God of Light, on the other hand, insists, "But I am not you, nor anyone else. I am ME!" and they're both correct, in their way.


Now everyone give me money. L. Ron Hubbard did it. So can I. It'll clear your thetans or something.
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Old 01-04-2019, 09:19 AM
 
28,432 posts, read 11,567,423 times
Reputation: 2070
you do have a point. i was thinking of opening a gay christian church. lmao, get at those militant atheist and marginalized people throwing money at me. Like i was some kind of profit or something.

profit ... I follow profits.
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Old 01-04-2019, 11:14 AM
 
Location: Middle America
11,061 posts, read 7,135,481 times
Reputation: 16970
The OP's obviously got way too much time on his hands.

Seconds tick by in life, never to be recaptured. Make the most of your time before it's gone, or you'll be looking back on a life of idleness and wastefulness.

You'd think that someone who doesn't believe in an afterlife would put a high premium on the time here (the only life he/she acknowledges), but even that's handled carelessly. That's more pathetic than belief in any religion.

Last edited by Thoreau424; 01-04-2019 at 11:32 AM..
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Old 01-04-2019, 12:47 PM
 
Location: City-Data Forum
7,943 posts, read 6,062,204 times
Reputation: 1359
beautiful intro, very lengthy. Might make a great movie, show, or book with a big cult following

Last edited by LuminousTruth; 01-04-2019 at 01:23 PM..
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Old 01-04-2019, 01:49 PM
 
28,432 posts, read 11,567,423 times
Reputation: 2070
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thoreau424 View Post
The OP's obviously got way too much time on his hands.

Seconds tick by in life, never to be recaptured. Make the most of your time before it's gone, or you'll be looking back on a life of idleness and wastefulness.

You'd think that someone who doesn't believe in an afterlife would put a high premium on the time here (the only life he/she acknowledges), but even that's handled carelessly. That's more pathetic than belief in any religion.
someone said put they put themselves on youtube.

well our thoughts on on a forum for all eternity. well, kinda.

does that mean I live on?
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Old 01-04-2019, 02:56 PM
 
9,688 posts, read 10,008,103 times
Reputation: 1926
The true living God through Christ is known for the miracles which come through the Spirit , where false religions are made by powerless ideas which people have passions and most false religions are under the spiritual authority of angels , which these angels the true God has rejected ............. Even the sickness of cancer is overcome by the God of Christ , where God will remove the fallen angels curses and remove demons of the flesh , and heal the sickness , as God is known by the miracles
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Old 01-04-2019, 03:41 PM
 
Location: Oklahoma
17,772 posts, read 13,665,953 times
Reputation: 17806
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thoreau424 View Post
The OP's obviously got way too much time on his hands.

Seconds tick by in life, never to be recaptured. Make the most of your time before it's gone, or you'll be looking back on a life of idleness and wastefulness.

You'd think that someone who doesn't believe in an afterlife would put a high premium on the time here (the only life he/she acknowledges), but even that's handled carelessly. That's more pathetic than belief in any religion.
Let's see here:

Someone who has contributed 4,159 posts in a two year period is going to chastise a fellow poster who has contributed 4,060 posts in 7.5 years.............................. about "idleness and wastefulness".
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Old 01-04-2019, 04:01 PM
 
18,249 posts, read 16,904,903 times
Reputation: 7553
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thoreau424
The OP's obviously got way too much time on his hands.

Seconds tick by in life, never to be recaptured. Make the most of your time before it's gone, or you'll be looking back on a life of idleness and wastefulness.

You'd think that someone who doesn't believe in an afterlife would put a high premium on the time here (the only life he/she acknowledges), but even that's handled carelessly. That's more pathetic than belief in any religion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by eddie gein View Post
Let's see here:

Someone who has contributed 4,159 posts in a two year period is going to chastise a fellow poster who has contributed 4,060 posts in 7.5 years.............................. about "idleness and wastefulness".
Har har!

Good un!

Good catch, eddie!
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Old 01-04-2019, 05:27 PM
 
Location: Middle America
11,061 posts, read 7,135,481 times
Reputation: 16970
^ You missed the point entirely, which makes you look all the more foolish. It's not about the number of posts; it's about wasting our time and forum space with jokester childish posts. We all know that this thread isn't to be taken seriously.

Now, if you consider this forum like a comic book or standup comedy, well then, knock yourself out (literally).

P.S. Thanks for taking the time to do research and statistics with my postings. That's time well spent!

Last edited by Thoreau424; 01-04-2019 at 05:39 PM..
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Old 01-04-2019, 08:02 PM
 
6,115 posts, read 3,083,547 times
Reputation: 2410
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clintone View Post
Here's how it goes:

The God of Light was born
Stopped reading after that.

If it's "born" then it does not qualify to be a God.

For an entity to become a God, one of the characteristic it must have is, "It must not have a beginning and an end".
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