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Old 04-23-2019, 10:20 AM
 
258 posts, read 96,663 times
Reputation: 166

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I told her I would go. Have to rush home from work and get there. I was told itís 2.5 hours. I canít sit in a church for 2.5 hours (Iím not Christian but couldnít sit in a synagogue for 2 hours either). She is upset because my husband wonít go. I am going because I feel obligated. If I had kids, I personally would never ask friends to come to any of their performances, school, or religious events. Would you expect your friends to go? I sat through 3 of her kids Communions and that was hard.
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Old 04-23-2019, 10:33 AM
Status: "Busy. Playoffs." (set 16 days ago)
 
Location: Ontario, Canada
25,172 posts, read 13,077,665 times
Reputation: 11501
So, you're just venting?

Feel better?

Sometimes friendship calls for sacrifice. I feel your pain, though. I wouldn't want to sit/stand/kneel in church for 2 1/2 hours either.
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Old 04-23-2019, 10:37 AM
 
258 posts, read 96,663 times
Reputation: 166
No not venting. Just wondering why some parents expect you do go to their children’s events. I would personally know that people aren’t usually interested and not put them in the predicament of feeling like they had to go.
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Old 04-23-2019, 10:53 AM
 
354 posts, read 116,210 times
Reputation: 1140
I think friends want to share big life events with other friends. In my family, confirmation didn't last 2.5 hours but it was a big deal with a party afterwards, etc.

You could give a card/gift and not go to the whole church thing.
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Old 04-23-2019, 11:11 AM
 
8,411 posts, read 4,936,063 times
Reputation: 9421
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adriank7 View Post
No not venting. Just wondering why some parents expect you do go to their childrenís events. I would personally know that people arenít usually interested and not put them in the predicament of feeling like they had to go.
Then you should say "no, thank you" to these invites. You are allowing yourself to feel like you "have" to go.
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Old 04-23-2019, 11:23 AM
 
4,219 posts, read 1,547,142 times
Reputation: 1408
If I was you, I would look into the possibility of joining late or leaving early to spend about half hour max into the event. If she is a “friend” then she will understand and appreciate your participation instead of no show.
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Old 04-23-2019, 11:24 AM
 
258 posts, read 96,663 times
Reputation: 166
Can you go to the church late?
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Old 04-23-2019, 01:01 PM
 
8,411 posts, read 4,936,063 times
Reputation: 9421
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adriank7 View Post
Can you go to the church late?
Of course you can. It is most likely frowned upon, but no one is going to stop you.
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Old 04-23-2019, 01:03 PM
 
354 posts, read 116,210 times
Reputation: 1140
No, don't walk into a church service late or leave early. Better not to go at all.
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Old 04-23-2019, 01:05 PM
 
Location: Southern Oregon
16,002 posts, read 7,487,045 times
Reputation: 1682
You need to find a way to say that you appreciate that it is an important part of their lives, but that is not a part you share. Thank them for wanting to include you but that you will happily participate in things in which you share an interest.
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