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If it was a 14- or 15-year-old writing the OP, my answer would have been different. But, hey, the girl's 18 and living with her parents. She hates her life with them and objects to their rules. The simple answer is" Move out. No, it's not going to be a piece of cake, but given her choices, moving out is the best one, IMO.
I totally agree.
but claiming "rational" is purely relative is a cheat. we can list list options side by side to compare them on a relative scale. some options are just clearly less valid than others. In fact, it has been my experience that people that will not list claims side by side to evaluate them are often out for something else.
If it was a 14- or 15-year-old writing the OP, my answer would have been different. But, hey, the girl's 18 and living with her parents. She hates her life with them and objects to their rules. The simple answer is" Move out. No, it's not going to be a piece of cake, but given her choices, moving out is the best one, IMO.
I don't think this is a "rules" thing, Katz. Sounds like they are controlling, manipulative, steal from her, and will do anything to keep the OP in their house, and in their religion. Maybe this is "normal" to you, but it shouldn't be, and isn't to most people.
The simple answer may be to move out, but how to you propose she do this? Sure, over time it is possible, but right now, from what she has said, it isn't. An 18 year old, working some menial job isn't going to be able to "just move out". They haven't been able to do so in several decades. Maybe if they had a few roommates or something, but that isn't as easy as you make it sound, especially if she has been in a household like this for her whole life. Odds are, everyone she knows is LDS, and won't be much help.
I don't think this is a "rules" thing, Katz. Sounds like they are controlling, manipulative, steal from her, and will do anything to keep the OP in their house, and in their religion. Maybe this is "normal" to you, but it shouldn't be, and isn't to most people.
Of course it's not normal, but I'm honestly not convinced we're hearing the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. To me, she came across like a whiny teenager who is rebelling against her parents. I mean, do her parents seriously steal from her? Or is there more to the story than we're hearing? We've all known kids like this, haven't we?
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The simple answer may be to move out, but how to you propose she do this? Sure, over time it is possible, but right now, from what she has said, it isn't. An 18 year old, working some menial job isn't going to be able to "just move out". They haven't been able to do so in several decades. Maybe if they had a few roommates or something, but that isn't as easy as you make it sound, especially if she has been in a household like this for her whole life.
Okay, so maybe she'll need to bite the bullet and save up for a while. It may not happen overnight, but it's the only real solution, IMO.
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Odds are, everyone she knows is LDS, and won't be much help.
Excuse me? What planet would this be on? She did say, "LDS," not "FLDS." No 18-year-old kid knows only LDS people, not even in Provo, Utah.
Maybe it's that I just finished reading the book, "Educated," which was proof that a young person from a home far worse than the OP's can accomplish the unbelievable.
Of course it's not normal, but I'm honestly not convinced we're hearing the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. To me, she came across like a whiny teenager who is rebelling against her parents. I mean, do her parents seriously steal from her? Or is there more to the story than we're hearing? We've all known kids like this, haven't we?
Of course it is possible we aren't hearing the truth. That is always a possibility. Just seems like you are taking it way to personally as is.
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Originally Posted by Katzpur
Okay, so maybe she'll need to bite the bullet and save up for a while. It may not happen overnight, but it's the only real solution, IMO.
Right, but don't just say, "Just move out" like it is so very easy to do. Rent, utilities, internet (which the OP will very likely need if she is in school), and things like food are not cheap. Not in Utah, not anywhere in US really. Just the deposits and app fees alone are normally well over $1000. Last apartment I lived in, and it has been over 5 years ago now, we had to pay $100 app fee, first and last months rent ($975 each), and the normal $300 deposit. Then you have to take into account the deposits and set up fees for things like utilities and internet, which in my area at least, run $100-$150 a piece. Doesn't sound like the OP has the means to "just move out".
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Originally Posted by Katzpur
Excuse me? What planet would this be on? She did say, "LDS," not "FLDS." No 18-year-old kid knows only LDS people, not even in Provo, Utah.
I guess my point, is taking the OP at her words, her parents likely aren't letting her go around hanging out with a bunch of people. They likely aren't letting her bring a bunch of non-LDS folks around their house either. The people she is the closest to, are likely LDS. Again, assuming her parents are exactly as described, which we both agree could.... exaggerated.
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Originally Posted by Katzpur
Maybe it's that I just finished reading the book, "Educated," which was proof that a young person from a home far worse than the OP's can accomplish the unbelievable.
Of course they can. Not all seem to be able to though, for whatever reasons.
its tough in this setting. we want what best for all the people involved that is for sure.
I think that most of us don't want to use this person for our cause. If its a real story we hope for the best for her. If it is actually a misguided guided youth, I feel for the parents. If its an atheist making it up ... well, that is what it is.
its tough in this setting. we want what best for all the people involved that is for sure.
I think that most of us don't want to use this person for our cause. If its a real story we hope for the best for her. If it is actually a misguided guided youth, I feel for the parents. If its an atheist making it up ... well, that is what it is.
Well, you pretty much covered all the bases there.
So I was born into the mormon religion, my parents have been mormon their whole life. They basically dedicate their whole life to this one religion. I'm now 18 and they have told me that I can make my own decisions but it doesn't mean they will agree with me. (Also they've known even since I was 13 I haven't wanted to be apart of the LDS church and they refused to let me make my own decisions)
I've told them multiples times I don't want to be mormon and that I don't believe in it, and they just get mad and punish me. Even when I'm sick in bed and don't go to church they take away my car and disconnect my cell phone. I've dealt with this my whole life and I'm not financially stable enough to support myself so I can get out of this hell hole, especially because every time I do make money they steal it/take it away from me.
The main cause of my depression is because of my parents and them controlling me and my life and trying to force their beliefs and this <<cut>> religion on me. I feel like I'm never going to escape.
Ever hear of a bank account?...
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