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Old 06-30-2019, 03:35 PM
 
3 posts, read 832 times
Reputation: 13

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So I was born into the mormon religion, my parents have been mormon their whole life. They basically dedicate their whole life to this one religion. I'm now 18 and they have told me that I can make my own decisions but it doesn't mean they will agree with me. (Also they've known even since I was 13 I haven't wanted to be apart of the LDS church and they refused to let me make my own decisions)

I've told them multiples times I don't want to be mormon and that I don't believe in it, and they just get mad and punish me. Even when I'm sick in bed and don't go to church they take away my car and disconnect my cell phone. I've dealt with this my whole life and I'm not financially stable enough to support myself so I can get out of this hell hole, especially because every time I do make money they steal it/take it away from me.

The main cause of my depression is because of my parents and them controlling me and my life and trying to force their beliefs and this <<cut>> religion on me. I feel like I'm never going to escape.

Last edited by mensaguy; 06-30-2019 at 04:56 PM.. Reason: We don't call any religion a cult.
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Old 06-30-2019, 03:52 PM
 
Location: Salt Lake City
21,954 posts, read 22,094,309 times
Reputation: 10687
Quote:
Originally Posted by anondeadgirl View Post
So I was born into the mormon religion, my parents have been mormon their whole life. They basically dedicate their whole life to this one religion. I'm now 18 and they have told me that I can make my own decisions but it doesn't mean they will agree with me. (Also they've known even since I was 13 I haven't wanted to be apart of the LDS church and they refused to let me make my own decisions)

I've told them multiples times I don't want to be mormon and that I don't believe in it, and they just get mad and punish me. Even when I'm sick in bed and don't go to church they take away my car and disconnect my cell phone. I've dealt with this my whole life and I'm not financially stable enough to support myself so I can get out of this hell hole, especially because every time I do make money they steal it/take it away from me.

The main cause of my depression is because of my parents and them controlling me and my life and trying to force their beliefs and this <<cut>> religion on me. I feel like I'm never going to escape.
It's not at all unusual for parents to raise their kids in the religion they believe in (be it Mormonism or any other religion) and it's not at all unusual for teenagers to rebel when they feel their parents are trying to control them. It's also not at all unusual for 18-year-olds to move out of their parents' home so they no longer have to live in situations they find to be oppressive. You're eighteen. You could probably "escape" by moving out. I suggest you do so.

Last edited by mensaguy; 06-30-2019 at 04:57 PM.. Reason: Quoted post edited.
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Old 06-30-2019, 04:15 PM
bjh
 
Location: Memphis - home of the king
30,678 posts, read 23,769,898 times
Reputation: 122361
Can you get to college or find a non-LDS relative to live with while you get on your feet, understanding that - and I say this for naive older posters/responders - that it's the exception rather than the rule for 18-year-olds to be able to earn enough to live on their own and has been for decades now. Worse case scenario, possible the military could be a route for independence, because however you get there that's what you need. Don't give up or despair. You will get there. I wish you very well.
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Old 06-30-2019, 04:22 PM
 
Location: northern New England
2,436 posts, read 1,057,100 times
Reputation: 9493
I Googled "help leaving...." and Mormon church was the second result.


https://quitmormon.com/


Good luck. Open a bank account and when you get/make money, take your paycheck and put it right in the account. You are over 18, your parents have no claim on it.
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Old 06-30-2019, 04:36 PM
 
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, originally from SF Bay Area
29,749 posts, read 54,373,866 times
Reputation: 31035
The solution is to move out on your own, and make your own decisions so they no longer have any leverage over you. Since you can’t afford that yet, you should just take their controlling behavior as motivation to save up and get out sooner. How do they take/steal your money? Unless you have some arrangement to pay rent, that’s theft and could be reported to the police.
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Old 06-30-2019, 05:19 PM
 
3 posts, read 832 times
Reputation: 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by bjh View Post
Can you get to college or find a non-LDS relative to live with while you get on your feet, understanding that - and I say this for naive older posters/responders - that it's the exception rather than the rule for 18-year-olds to be able to earn enough to live on their own and has been for decades now. Worse case scenario, possible the military could be a route for independence, because however you get there that's what you need. Don't give up or despair. You will get there. I wish you very well.
All of my relatives and siblings that I know are LDS, so no matter where I go I feel all the pressure and force from everyone trying to stay on the "righteous path". I am going to community college which they aren't paying for because I have a scholarship, but I will be living at home since I can't support myself financially yet and because my parents will do anything to keep me from moving away. Its just going to be a lot harder to be able to save up while going to school and keeping a scholarship so my parents can't hang school over my head
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Old 06-30-2019, 05:26 PM
 
3 posts, read 832 times
Reputation: 13
They don't want me to move out so they do anything to make sure I can't. Since I recently turned 18 I'm able to get an insurance check from an accident I was in and basically all the money I'm getting that could be used for me to move out is going to my parents since my mom travels and she uses my dads money. They forced me to go on a trip that I never even wanted to go on in the first place because I wanted to save money they refused and made me go, so since I went (doesn't matter that they forced me to go) I have to pay them back with all the money I receive.
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Old 06-30-2019, 05:26 PM
 
13,457 posts, read 4,976,974 times
Reputation: 1363
Quote:
Originally Posted by anondeadgirl View Post
All of my relatives and siblings that I know are LDS, so no matter where I go I feel all the pressure and force from everyone trying to stay on the "righteous path". I am going to community college which they aren't paying for because I have a scholarship, but I will be living at home since I can't support myself financially yet and because my parents will do anything to keep me from moving away. Its just going to be a lot harder to be able to save up while going to school and keeping a scholarship so my parents can't hang school over my head
this is exactly what the bible meant when it said jesus said I will tear apart families.

when families have misguided people in them, you, as a rational person, don't have to follow them.

you are learning that most people are no different than anything else that runs on instinct. i call them sleepers. they are sleep walking and you are wake.

good luck, I mean that.
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Old 06-30-2019, 05:59 PM
 
Location: Oklahoma
6,839 posts, read 6,178,314 times
Reputation: 6116
Quote:
Originally Posted by anondeadgirl View Post
They don't want me to move out so they do anything to make sure I can't. Since I recently turned 18 I'm able to get an insurance check from an accident I was in and basically all the money I'm getting that could be used for me to move out is going to my parents since my mom travels and she uses my dads money. They forced me to go on a trip that I never even wanted to go on in the first place because I wanted to save money they refused and made me go, so since I went (doesn't matter that they forced me to go) I have to pay them back with all the money I receive.
Find some wild heathen boyfriend and threaten to marry him if they don't back off.
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Old 06-30-2019, 06:02 PM
bjh
 
Location: Memphis - home of the king
30,678 posts, read 23,769,898 times
Reputation: 122361
(Sad that a young person has to escape from religious parents in this day and age.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by VTsnowbird View Post
I Googled "help leaving...." and Mormon church was the second result.

https://quitmormon.com/

Good luck. Open a bank account and when you get/make money, take your paycheck and put it right in the account. You are over 18, your parents have no claim on it.
Yes, OP, bank money when you can. If possible, don't mention that you have an account. If they go through your things, try to find a place they can't find account papers or cards. FYI, you can have a checking account without a debit card or ordering checks, if they might use either to empty your account. If needed you can do all your withdrawals of money from the bank in person, but directly deposit any pay you can earn.

Honestly it may sound ridiculous, but if they try to force you to give them the money in your account, you could remind them that the police could be involved. You know them better than me. If mentioning the intervention of police could get you thrown out/homeless or abused, maybe don't mention it. I know a physically abused person whose parents backed off when they were old enough to threaten to call the police.

I realize you might not be being physically abused, but hyper-controlling anyone and trying to keep you without resources, escape, hope or freedom is a form of abuse. I'd suggest looking into organizations that help people escape Mormonism as mentioned in the above.

Quote:
Originally Posted by anondeadgirl View Post
All of my relatives and siblings that I know are LDS, so no matter where I go I feel all the pressure and force from everyone trying to stay on the "righteous path". I am going to community college which they aren't paying for because I have a scholarship, but I will be living at home since I can't support myself financially yet and because my parents will do anything to keep me from moving away. Its just going to be a lot harder to be able to save up while going to school and keeping a scholarship so my parents can't hang school over my head
Keep going to community college. Maybe you can get a scholarship to a 4-year university where you can move into a dorm and be much freer. Eventually you can get a job making enough to get an apartment, etc. and get on with your life. Know that whatever you are going through now IS temporary.
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