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Today, after taking care of a few minor things (tires on a trailer, for example) I will be heading to my friends house on Cape Cod. It is supposed to be a 28 hour drive, so hopefully I will be there tomorrow evening.
I am going to help get the house in shape and stuff moved out so it can be rented or sold, depending on what the family wants to do.....thus traveling with the trailer.
My route will be taking me from Tulsa to St Louis to Indianapolis to Columbus to Akron to Scranton to the Cape. I plan on driving pretty much straight through with just naps along the way. I have two Jack Russell Terriers with me as well.....should be fun, eh?
I will be heading home around the 7th. Hopefully I will have a bit more time available on the way back if any of you are anywhere near that route, let me know. a cup of coffee at a Dunkins or Denny's is always appropriate.
Today, after taking care of a few minor things (tires on a trailer, for example) I will be heading to my friends house on Cape Cod. It is supposed to be a 28 hour drive, so hopefully I will be there tomorrow evening.
I am going to help get the house in shape and stuff moved out so it can be rented or sold, depending on what the family wants to do.....thus traveling with the trailer.
My route will be taking me from Tulsa to St Louis to Indianapolis to Columbus to Akron to Scranton to the Cape. I plan on driving pretty much straight through with just naps along the way. I have two Jack Russell Terriers with me as well.....should be fun, eh?
I will be heading home around the 7th. Hopefully I will have a bit more time available on the way back if any of you are anywhere near that route, let me know. a cup of coffee at a Dunkins or Denny's is always appropriate.
On your way back, when you get to Akron and if you take Interstate 77 South to Cambridge and let me know I'll meet you at the Denny's on Southgate Parkway, Route 209 and buy you a meal.
I just wanted to say, "Thank-you", to all of those in our circle who have served in the military, and those who are currently serving. You have sacrificed a great deal in order to serve our country, (more than most of us will ever know), and, though we don't say it as often as we should, we appreciate it, so very much!
Last night I arrived on Cape Cod. I got a call from my ex. Her mother, my former mother in law had passed.
I can't make it to the funeral, which is probably a good thing. My brother in law and I don't (and never did) get along. But it seems there is way too much of this going on...........
I don't mean the eunichs in long white robes playing harps. I mean the ones walking around us every day? I came across this story a while ago, and in light of the death that has occurred among my family, I thought I would share it.
Quote:
CHEYENNE
By Catherine Moore
"Watch out! You nearly broadsided that car!"
My father yelled at me. "Can't you do anything right?"
Those words hurt worse than blows. I turned my head toward the elderly man In the seat beside me, daring me to challenge him. A lump rose in my throat as I averted my eyes. I wasn't prepared for another battle.
'I saw the car, Dad. Please don't yell at me when I'm driving.' My voice was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than I really felt.
Dad glared at me, then turned away and settled back. At home I left Dad in front of the television and went outside to collect my thoughts.
Dark, heavy clouds hung in the air with a promise of rain. The rumble of distant thunder seemed to echo my inner turmoil.
What could I do about him?
Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington and Oregon. He had enjoyed being outdoors and had reveled in pitting his strength against the forces of nature. He had entered grueling lumberjack competitions, and had placed often. The shelves in his house were filled with trophies that attested to his prowess. The years marched on relentlessly. The first time he couldn't lift a heavy log, he joked about it; but later that same day I saw him outside alone, straining to lift it. He became irritable whenever anyone teased him about his advancing age, or when he couldn't do something he had done as a younger man.
Four days after his sixty-seventh birthday, he had a heart attack. At the hospital, Dad was rushed into an operating room. He was lucky; he survived.
But something inside Dad died. His zest for life was gone. He obstinately refused to follow doctor's orders.. Suggestions and offers of help were turned aside with sarcasm and insults. The number of visitors thinned, and then finally stopped altogether. Dad was left alone.
My husband, Dick, and I asked Dad to come live with us on our small farm. We hoped the fresh air and rustic atmosphere would help him adjust.
Within a week after he moved in, I regretted the invitation. It seemed nothing was satisfactory. He criticized everything I did. I became frustrated and moody. Soon I was taking my pent-up anger out on Dick. We began to bicker and argue. Alarmed, Dick sought out our pastor and explained the situation. The clergyman set up weekly counseling appointments for us. At the close of each session he prayed, asking God
To soothe Dad's troubled mind. But the months wore on and God was silent.
Something had to be done and it was up to me to do it.
The next day I sat down with the phone book and methodically called each of the mental health clinics listed in the Yellow Pages. I explained my problem to each of the sympathetic voices that answered. In vain. Just when I was giving up hope, one of the voices suddenly exclaimed, 'I just read something that might help you! Let me go get the article.' I listened as she read... The article described a remarkable study done at a nursing home. All of the patients were under treatment for chronic depression.. Yet their attitudes had improved dramatically when they were given responsibility for a dog.
I drove to the animal shelter that afternoon... After I filled out a questionnaire, a uniformed officer led me to the kennels. The odor of disinfectant stung my nostrils as I moved down the row of pens. Each contained five to seven dogs. Long-haired dogs, curly-haired dogs, black dogs, spotted dogs all jumped up, trying to reach me. I studied each one but rejected one after the other for various reasons, too big, too small, too much hair. As I neared the last pen a dog in the shadows of the far corner struggled to his feet, walked to the front of the run and sat down.
It was a pointer, one of the dog world's aristocrats. But this was a caricature of the breed. Years had etched his face and muzzle with shades of gray. His hipbones jutted out in lopsided triangles. But it was his eyes that caught and held my attention. Calm and clear, they beheld me unwaveringly.
I pointed to the dog. "Can you tell me about him?" The officer looked, then shook his head in puzzlement.
"He's a funny one. Appeared out of nowhere and sat in front of the gate. We brought him in, figuring someone would be right down to claim him, that was two weeks ago and we've heard nothing. His time is up tomorrow." He gestured helplessly.
As the words sank in I turned to the man in horror. 'You mean you're going to kill him?'
'Ma'am,' he said gently, 'that's our policy. We don't have room for every unclaimed dog.'
I looked at the pointer again. The calm brown eyes awaited my decision.
'I'll take him,' I said.
I drove home with the dog on the front seat beside me. When I reached the house I honked the horn twice. I was helping my prize out of the car when Dad shuffled onto the front porch.
"Ta-da! Look what I got for you, Dad!" I said excitedly.
Dad looked, then wrinkled his face in disgust. "If I had wanted a dog I would have gotten one. And I would have picked out a better specimen than that bag of bones. Keep it! I don't want it." Dad waved his arm scornfully and turned back toward the house.
Anger rose inside me. It squeezed together my throat muscles and pounded into my temples...
"You'd better get used to him, Dad. He's staying!" Dad ignored me. "Did you hear me, Dad?" I screamed. At those words Dad whirled angrily, his hands clenched at his sides, his eyes narrowed and blazing with hate.
We stood glaring at each other like duelists, when suddenly the pointer pulled free from my grasp. He wobbled toward my dad and sat down in front of him. Then slowly, carefully, he raised his paw.
Dad's lower jaw trembled as he stared at the uplifted paw. Confusion replaced the anger in his eyes.. The pointer waited patiently. Then Dad was on his knees hugging the animal.
It was the beginning of a warm and intimate friendship. Dad named the pointer Cheyenne . Together he and Cheyenne explored the community. They spent long hours walking down dusty lanes. They spent reflective moments on the banks of streams, angling for tasty trout. They even started to attend Sunday services together, Dad sitting in a pew and Cheyenne lying quietly at his feet.
Dad and Cheyenne were inseparable throughout the next three years. Dad's bitterness faded, and he and Cheyenne made many friends. Then late one night I was startled to feel Cheyennes cold nose burrowing through our bed covers. He had never before come into our bedroom at night. I woke Dick, put on my robe and ran into my father's room. Dad lay in his bed, his face serene. But his spirit had left quietly sometime during the night.
Two days later my shock and grief deepened when I discovered Cheyenne lying dead beside Dad's bed. I wrapped his still form in the rag rug he had slept on. As Dick and I buried him near a favorite fishing hole, I silently thanked the dog for the help he had given me in restoring Dad's peace of mind.
The morning of Dad's funeral dawned overcast and dreary. This day looks like the way I feel, I thought, as I walked down the aisle to the pews reserved for family. I was surprised to see the many friends Dad and Cheyenne had made filling the church. The pastor began his eulogy. It was a tribute to both Dad and the dog who had changed his life. And then the pastor turned to Hebrews 13:2. "Be not forgetful to entertain strangers."
"I've often thanked God for sending that angel," he said.
For me, the past dropped into place, completing a puzzle that I had not seen before: the sympathetic voice that had just read the right article.
Cheyenne's unexpected appearance at the animal shelter . . . his calm acceptance and complete devotion to my father. . and the proximity of their deaths. And suddenly I understood. I knew that God had answered my prayers after all. Life is too short for drama & petty things, so laugh hard, love truly and forgive quickly. Live While You Are Alive. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
About a month ago, I took some time off of work to recover from a stress-related burn-out, and to aid in my long (and often painful) journey towards healing.
I sat down and wrote a haiku about autumn -- I can't find it at the moment, but I'll post it here when I do.
Well, to make a long story short, I went walking on a brisk autumn afternoon. The sun was shining (though fading into twilight), and I suddenly realized...
My journey was complete.
There are still hard times to come (the person I wronged is still understandably bitter and doesn't entirely trust me anymore), but my personal healing, the search I needed to undertake, has concluded.
I still fight with the memories of what I did -- I always will, I know that beyond doubt. After spending nearly a year in intense introspection, however, I can face the memories with a sense of optimism, rather than the self-absorbed, depression-induced pessimism I once embraced.
Reading the messages in this thread has reminded me of how very blessed we truly are to live in this world, and how pointless it is to waste that all-too-brief existence by flinging harsh words, whether at oneself or at others.
So, in the spirit of the circle, I give you this short list of things that we almost always forget in this hectic, violent, chaotic world:
Turn to someone that you love, and tell them you love them. Turn to someone that you fought with, and tell them that you're sorry. Turn to a friend, and tell them what they mean to you. Turn to an enemy, and tell them that you forgive them.
More important than faith -- in any god -- is faith in yourself. And you can't develop that faith when you're bound in the chains of anger and remorse.
Good morning Fred, what a wonderful healing you have come through..I know the past year was full of ups and downs.... but wow,look at you now
You have given me a wonderful thing to contemplate this beautiful "Indian Summer day" as I head outside to just be closer to the nature I love so much and where I feel the closest to my God and creator..I will attempt some healing of my own from your post about the lessons you have learned..
Thank you for this and may peace continue o grow with you and with all of us..
[quote]Turn to someone that you love, and tell them you love them.
Turn to someone that you fought with, and tell them that you're sorry. Turn to a friend, and tell them what they mean to you. Turn to an enemy, and tell them that you forgive them.
[quote]
Today I walked back into the woods behind my friends house on the Cape. I smoked for him, said a prayer, and celebrated his life.
It is always good to honor the friends who have passed on to the other side, it keeps their memory alive within us...
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Thank-you on Veteran's Day
