I personally don't think you are doing anything wrong, your heart is open, you are studying what is good and right and aware of your actions. It is my belief that God is not in church, he is all around us and within us, and I feel he is in nature. That is where I find peace. I feel that church is a place where people gather to strengthen their faith, share positive energy, educate themselves about the words from God and build community.. but faith and guidance comes from within.. The hard part is that everything is such a mystery and we are left with our will and choices , to do the best we can while we are here. I feel you are going in a good direction