Does Anyone Else Find The Tradition Of Viewing Someone In Their Casket To Be Gruesome And Disturbing? (soul, funeral)

[Greatday]

My wife wants a party - a real, old fashion party - and she wants to "be" there. She has made specific directions in her will - including the food that is to be served - and by whom -

[cleatis]

Originally Posted by b. frank

Whoa - why have you seen so many dead bodies?
Have you seen one dressed up in funeral gear? If so, does it feel different than a "natural" one like in the morgue or, uh, on the road? I'm just curious.

I don't know why, I'm really just an average Joe. But I have had 4 or 5 family deaths; one of them was murdered rather violently and I think that might have made a difference in my outlook also (makes ones hide a little thicker). I have also traveled a lot and seen various crashes. Those are the ones that make you think.

But the ones in funeral gear do seem a little different. They have makeup, a good suit and have been dolled up. When they are old they look fake, like a manikin to me -they just aren't as I remember them.

On a side note, if we want to talk about odd practices... My grandmother told me that back in her day they took pictures of the bodies (not just "they" as in her group, but people in general - it was just normal). When I was a kid I would look through some of the OLD pictures (like turn of the century and before) and wonder why so many people were sleeping.

[cleatis]

I kind of have to agree with Timber... Death isn't something we think about, we seldom think about how short our time here really is. I was just a kid when I saw a body at a funeral. My school music teacher was killed in a car/bicycle wreck.

I thought It would be cool to take a peek and see one in real life. So when the service at school was over I sneaked in to take a peek. It was gruesome; ever since then I did have a different outlook. I think that in a way it really does make some of us think. Others though don't need such shock to make them think.

[Towhee]

I do not care to "view" the body in the casket. I prefer to remember the person as they were when alive. The body is no longer the person.
At funerals, when the casket is open and all file past it, I do so, but as briefly as possible.

[Haaziq]

It doesn't bother me, however, I would never want to be buried.

Just for the record, I went to my aunt's funeral when I was 11 and to by dad's funeral last year when I was 17.

[esselcue]

Originally Posted by Marianinark

I do not care to "view" the body in the casket. I prefer to remember the person as they were when alive. The body is no longer the person.
At funerals, when the casket is open and all file past it, I do so, but as briefly as possible.

I agree completely...the last image in my mind's eye I prefer to be of that person alive. I did not "view" my own son when he died...I wanted to remember him as he had been the last time I saw and hugged him.

[Greatday]

My wife and I work with families who have lost a loved on in battle - in Iraq or Afghanistan. We act as liaisons between the family and the military and assist them however we can. In our capacity, we also attend any / all services that are scheduled.

Over the last few years, we have attended some 200 funerals - some of which had open casket viewings - some did not (for various reasons). Deceased service members are dressed in their crisp dress uniforms - and there is always an honor guard present - in the funeral home and the cemetery.

It has been our experience that the families prefer an open casket ceremony wherever possible.

[Mooseketeer]

I don't personally have a problem with it at all, though I understand why some people might find it disturbing.

I think a lot of it is to do with your culture and mores and for a lot of people viewing the body is the only way to find true closure and come to terms with their own mortality.

Dead bodies don't really bother me, I did a forensics class for my Anthropology course and you quickly get used to it. Or you drop out !

I think a lot of people feel the need to pay their last respects to the actual "body" of the deceased "face to face" and for many cultures the contact with the departed is a sacred ritual.

I think in a way we have become far too sheltered in our modern world and view death in too sanitised a manner so maybe being reminded about the reality once in a while is not such a bad thing.

I have been to a few wakes when everyone was drinking with the deceased in the next room and I don't remember anyone being particularly squeamish even kids who seem to take it in their stride.

I do find the often un-natural appearance of the corpse a little bit disturbing though, a lot of morticians seem to go overboard with the make up and it can look a bit too OTT. I don't think anyone who is dead need any "rouge" or lipstick...

Death happens to us all though and I am not sure being completely disconnected from this natural process is that healthy either.

I personally will not want to be on show when I die but different strokes for different people.

Death is always with us and is the ultimate destination for us all and I find nothing "morbid" , sinister or spooky about it.

If it gives people a sense of closure and finality about the death of a loved one and offers them some succour then I think it has to be a good thing.

I suspect open casket funerals are becoming rarer and rarer in the West anyway as we are becoming more and more squeamish about death.

[shibainu]

I have no problem viewing someone in the casket. It is the people I see touching and kissing them which I feel a little weird about. For the first time when my grandmother passed away 2 years ago I saw here body at the hospital before they took here away and I tell you that it is a different experience that I do not know how to explain. My brother and few relatives were actual in the room when she past away. My brother told me that she looked right at him. Then she took her last breath.I felt that I wanted to be their but I know I could not handle seeing her physically die.

[wktully]

Some people feel the need to see the deceased one last time and say good-bye. If someone wishes that then so be it - I would respect their wish. I want to be cremated or buried via the green funeral method. Hang out, have a party and celebrate the life I had. Both my parents have passed and I remember each one distinctly in the funeral home. I remember they put my Dad's glasses on him and I was like "huh" When my Mom passed I had to organize her clothes and they asked me to include undies, bra and pantyhose.......... I guess I understand the concept there but.....I don't find viewing in a casket gruesome or disturbing - it's become part of the culture. Alot of people by nature are inherently curious about seeing a dead person - why do you think there's such a rubberneck factor at really bad accidents?