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Old 01-26-2009, 07:32 PM
 
Location: Pikeville, Ky.
13,465 posts, read 21,214,758 times
Reputation: 17686

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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.

Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'

Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.After explaining the commandment to 'honor' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:Take only ONE . God is watching.'Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'
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Old 01-27-2009, 03:44 AM
 
Location: Eastern Kentucky
1,237 posts, read 2,643,568 times
Reputation: 1267
Thanks for the laugh, Miss Blue.
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Old 01-27-2009, 02:00 PM
 
Location: Maryland
3,540 posts, read 5,962,799 times
Reputation: 971
Thanks Blue, for the comic relief.
Mrs oakback and I had a few chuckles.
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Old 01-27-2009, 02:50 PM
 
Location: Log home in the Appalachians
10,494 posts, read 10,075,480 times
Reputation: 6838
You know, I don't care what anybody says, that's funny...
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Old 01-31-2009, 06:04 PM
 
30 posts, read 123,959 times
Reputation: 25
thanks for the laugh breab...yea i needed that
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Old 01-31-2009, 08:52 PM
 
Location: Victoria, BC.
30,038 posts, read 30,695,423 times
Reputation: 12214
God is watching the apples....Hilarious!
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Old 02-01-2009, 08:02 AM
 
Location: Oriental, NC
917 posts, read 2,050,214 times
Reputation: 448
The last 3 are kind of funny, but I must admit I find the 1st one somewhat offensive. It's probably nit-picky of me but I think it belongs on the christianity forum. It is totally biased towards christians and their belief that those who do not take the bible as the word of god are "bad" and will go to "hell" Why do I care? It's just rude in my opinion.
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Old 02-01-2009, 08:56 AM
 
4,512 posts, read 6,583,539 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sanspeur View Post
God is watching the apples....Hilarious!
from a distance!

so he does with the french hens!
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Old 02-01-2009, 09:33 AM
 
8,862 posts, read 14,395,544 times
Reputation: 2280
From 'A Distance' indeed.

sigh--just the other day someone said that The End Times were upon us.

I think we will be OK for a 'while'. So did Aesop--not that I think he was overly concerned about what we get ourselves so worked up about these days.
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