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Old 02-21-2009, 01:55 PM
 
Location: The #1 sunshine state, Arizona.
12,172 posts, read 15,039,292 times
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See now, had you bowled with God and "brown nosed" him a little, he would have let you win!
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Old 02-21-2009, 04:01 PM
 
Location: Nashville, Tn
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bud235 wrote:
Quote:
"Boring is what boring does."
Sigh, I did my best.
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Old 02-21-2009, 04:06 PM
 
Location: Toronto, ON
2,333 posts, read 2,446,525 times
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Hot potatoes!!!
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Old 02-21-2009, 05:38 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn
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You didn't tell us what we want to know: did you beat Satan, or did he just let you win to make you feel good?

Also, it occurs to me that the "666" may have been a hint. The next time you go bowling, let us know what your total score turns out to be.
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Old 02-21-2009, 05:50 PM
 
4,512 posts, read 6,589,328 times
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gee, got any other parables, still?
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Old 02-21-2009, 05:59 PM
 
Location: Nashville, Tn
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Fred314X wrote:
Quote:
You didn't tell us what we want to know: did you beat Satan, or did he just let you win to make you feel good?
Yes, I did. Satan had four perfect games of 300 each and I lost pathetically with a total score for the four games of 666. Sadly, I see this thread going the way of the buffalo, I was just trying to be humorous and I've obviously been a total failure.
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Old 02-21-2009, 06:26 PM
 
Location: Toronto, ON
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Exclamation But I won a thousand dollars at the local casino in Naigara Falls.

As long as we're being liberal.
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Old 02-21-2009, 06:41 PM
 
4,248 posts, read 5,322,663 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sizzly Friddle View Post
I was briefly married to satan when I was in my early twenties. Things didn't work out for us and we divorced after only six weeks of marriage. I haven't spoken to him since.
He really did seem like such a nice guy at first.

Me Too !!!!!

Mine lasted a little longer though, guess I didn't recognize him as quick as you.
Maybe an ex-wives club is in order?
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Old 02-21-2009, 07:36 PM
 
Location: Phoenix
2,617 posts, read 1,993,790 times
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MG
Just a few questions:

1. Is Satan right handed, left handed or ambidextous
2. What weight ball was he playing with and did he bring his own ball or play with the "house balls"
3. What was his shoe size, did he bring his own or rent them?
4. What about the food court, did you guys order any hot dogs, fries or burgers while you were there and if so, could you give us a first hand perspective on Satan's opinions of the food. I'm thinking he would like anything "deep fried."
5. Beer.....bottled or draft?
6. Most important, who kept score?
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Old 02-21-2009, 07:46 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
3,586 posts, read 5,352,170 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MontanaGuy View Post
I had the most incredible experience yesterday. In the morning the phone rang. It was satan. He told me he'd like to meet me and asked if I'd like to bowl a few games. I was quite surprised but I agreed to meet him at a local bowling alley. I arrived a short time later and entered the bowling alley. I didn't see him at first but then I turned around and he was standing right in front of me. He was dressed all in black like Johnny Cash and had a certain swagger about him. He was tall and pale but seemed quite friendly. I felt very awkward at first and rather self conscious throwing a bowling ball in front of satan. He was just the opposite and was very confident and definitely had charisma and a sense of style. He had a strike everytime he threw the ball and the pins flew like they'd been hit with a baseball bat. My bowling skills were embarrassing to say the least. At one point when I was trying to make a spare with two pins standing the ball slid between them, missing both of them. I said "Oh, Jesus" and as I turned around satan's eyes glowed red and a shadow passed across his face. I realized I'd said the wrong thing and mumbled "sorry" and then he seemed ok.
After we'd bowled a couple of games a group of spectators formed behind us. At first they were awed by seeing two perfect games and then they realized who they were watching and they just gazed in wonder. We played two more games so satan ended up with four perfect games. My score was pitiful and I only had a total of 666 points for all four of them added together.
At that point people started approaching satan to get autographs. He knew everyone's name and everything about them. As he signed autographs he was very witty and quite humorous. Then he did an imitation of some of the scenes from The Exorcist and he turned his head completely around in a circle. The crowd was cheering in amazement. I tell ya, the man's a riot!
Later, after the crowd thinned out, satan said "Oh, I've got something for you" and he touched the top of my head with his finger. I felt a strange burning sensation for a second or two and he offered no explanation. Then satan said he had some other appointments but we'd meet again someday and suddenly he was gone.
This morning I woke up and I examined my scalp where satan had touched me. There's three 6's that are clearly visible and they look like a birthmark. I'm not sure what that means exactly, I guess it's a little souvenir or something.
Well, it was quite an experience and now I'm wondering if satan is getting a bad rap. He seemed like such a nice guy. Has anyone else met satan or have any experiences to share?
Well, personally I have not and don't want too. Satan is a lier and only comes to steal, kill, and destroy people. So, I don't want to have any contact with that loser, not even in a dream.
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