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Old 03-04-2009, 05:37 PM
 
Location: Nashville, Tn
7,916 posts, read 16,030,209 times
Reputation: 5433

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A couple of days ago I got a call from a ex-coworker from Seattle who I've known for about thirty years. Even though I've moved a few times we've always kept in touch and I consider her to be one of my best friends. She's a very religious black woman who enjoys the emotion and the music that has become a tradition in black churches and her faith is very real. We've accepted our differences in religious beliefs many years ago and it's not even an issue. I feel there are so many aspects that are important in friendship that religious differences seem very minor to me. Of course if trying to convert your friend to your point of view is a high priority then it's doubtful that it's going to be a long lasting friendship in the first place.
Lately when I've read so many of these threads on the forum that become contentious and insulting I get the feeling that it's turned into an us versus them sort of thing but I also think that this is often the nature of the internet because people are anonymous and we really don't know each other. In real life when people interact it doesn't tend to focus on one particular aspect of our identify such as religious belief. All of our personal traits such as our sense of humor, our honesty and the whole range of our strengths and weaknesses tends to form an overall image for each of us as a person to those who know us. For myself, I don't find that religious beliefs are at the top of the list when I'm choosing friends and in fact I also find that my atheism doesn't seem to bother my close friends who are religious at all because they've gained an understanding of the kind of person I am.
This has been a bit long winded but does anyone else feel the way that I do?
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Old 03-04-2009, 05:41 PM
 
1,788 posts, read 4,058,193 times
Reputation: 1229
I don't even think about what someone's beliefs are when I meet them or socialize with them, unless THEY bring it up. It frankly doesn't even cross my mind if they don't, and I don't care what someone believes because if they are polite and don't try to put it on me, I get along with most anyone.
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Old 03-04-2009, 06:11 PM
 
Location: Toronto, ON
2,333 posts, read 2,382,350 times
Reputation: 258
Quote:
Originally Posted by MontanaGuy View Post
We've accepted our differences in religious beliefs many years ago and it's not even an issue.
...
Of course if trying to convert your friend to your point of view is a high priority then it's doubtful that it's going to be a long lasting friendship in the first place.


....
In real life when people interact it doesn't tend to focus on one particular aspect of our identify such as religious belief. All of our personal traits such as our sense of humor, our honesty and the whole range of our strengths and weaknesses tends to form an overall image for each of us as a person to those who know us.

... in fact I also find that my atheism doesn't seem to bother my close friends

...?

But there is a curiosity about what freedom will take you too. Character in a relationship is fine, but people change and very often we wish to make self-critical evaluations of our human condition as it relates to choices we've made. Too much self-criticism is a not a good thing, but just the same it changes the direction of our lives for the ambition that we meant for being friends.
Religion matters by the essential freedom to do for one another I believe. That may be less at the fraternity content; we live it down.
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Old 03-04-2009, 06:14 PM
 
Location: An absurd world.
5,161 posts, read 7,907,528 times
Reputation: 2006
It doesn't matter either way to me. As far as I know, I've never had any atheist friends.
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Old 03-04-2009, 06:20 PM
 
1,788 posts, read 4,058,193 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Haaziq View Post
It doesn't matter either way to me. As far as I know, I've never had any atheist friends.
You have atheist friends here!
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Old 03-04-2009, 06:23 PM
 
Location: Oklahoma
620 posts, read 1,560,809 times
Reputation: 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZugZub View Post
I don't even think about what someone's beliefs are when I meet them or socialize with them, unless THEY bring it up. It frankly doesn't even cross my mind if they don't, and I don't care what someone believes because if they are polite and don't try to put it on me, I get along with most anyone.
This is how I am too.
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Old 03-04-2009, 07:29 PM
 
Location: Western Cary, NC
4,349 posts, read 6,353,167 times
Reputation: 7259
I have both as friends, I find the ones I know in non work environment are the ones who may be religious, and the people I work with are like me and see religion as a dangerous and waste of time and energy. The religious friends never discuss religion with me, and I would call moderate in their views, my non religious friends only discuss it when something hits the news.
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Old 03-04-2009, 07:34 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn
40,058 posts, read 28,992,261 times
Reputation: 10426
I've got to go along with ZugZub and Secret Samadhi. It doesn't matter to me, and I wouldn't think about it unless they brought it up. And that's the only way it would enter such a conversation, because I wouldn't be the one to introduce religion and/or belief.
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Old 03-04-2009, 07:36 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
10,706 posts, read 30,350,902 times
Reputation: 6583
It doesn't matter to me at all unless they are pushy, trying to influence my life with their belief system.

I grew up in a religious environment and my best friend is a Seventh Day Adventist.

I would do anything for her and she would do anything for me, religion just isn't part of the equation.
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Old 03-04-2009, 09:25 PM
 
598 posts, read 792,309 times
Reputation: 139
When it comes to socializing the rule thumb (especially for women) is: stay away from nuts -- which severely religious people qualify.

If someone is severely religious, there is no personality, no ordinary life, no hobby, ... the whole person, whole life is devoted to one thing, and one thing only: religion (worship, God, pray, ...)
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