I Just Found Out My Neighbor Is A Sex Offender (hell, belief)

[MontanaGuy]

I see the thread I started about my neighbor has resurfaced again. I've never asked him about it and we continue to be friendly neighbors. Apparently most of the people in the neighborhood also know about his past because someone sent emails to everyone in the area before I moved here.
I don't have a wife or children to worry about but my neighbor has a family with grandchildren. I did find out that his current marriage is only about three years old and that his children are from a previous marriage. His conviction was in 1989 when he would have been about 39 years old. I've never been able to find out the circumstances of his conviction but I noticed that someone had posted some information about the laws in Tennessee and what the legal definitions are of aggravated rape in this state. I do realize it sounds very serious. My basic feeling is that I don't perceive him to be a threat to society although I do realize that people who are rapists can become very skilled at presenting an acceptable person in society and people are often shocked when certain rapists or murderers are finally apprehended. The Green River Killer lived just a short distance from my sister in Seattle and people who knew him just couldn't believe it. The same is true for Ted Bundy who as I've mentioned before, killed the stepsister of my supervisor when I lived in Seattle.
Anyway, I feel perfectly safe living next door to this guy and we talk quite often. I don't know what's going on in his mind but I don't sense any hostility whatsoever.

[Goodpasture]

almost sounds like Seattle is the problem. I wouldn't imagine Nashville to be quite like that......you get lots more sun.

[Lindsey_Mcfarren]

Originally Posted by MontanaGuy

I see the thread I started about my neighbor has resurfaced again. I've never asked him about it and we continue to be friendly neighbors. Apparently most of the people in the neighborhood also know about his past because someone sent emails to everyone in the area before I moved here.
I don't have a wife or children to worry about but my neighbor has a family with grandchildren. I did find out that his current marriage is only about three years old and that his children are from a previous marriage. His conviction was in 1989 when he would have been about 39 years old. I've never been able to find out the circumstances of his conviction but I noticed that someone had posted some information about the laws in Tennessee and what the legal definitions are of aggravated rape in this state. I do realize it sounds very serious. My basic feeling is that I don't perceive him to be a threat to society although I do realize that people who are rapists can become very skilled at presenting an acceptable person in society and people are often shocked when certain rapists or murderers are finally apprehended. The Green River Killer lived just a short distance from my sister in Seattle and people who knew him just couldn't believe it. The same is true for Ted Bundy who as I've mentioned before, killed the stepsister of my supervisor when I lived in Seattle.
Anyway, I feel perfectly safe living next door to this guy and we talk quite often. I don't know what's going on in his mind but I don't sense any hostility whatsoever.

Your a guy so I am sure your safe. I'm glad the rest of your neighborhood is informed however of his past. The real tragedy would be if no one knew and this guy re-offended. If you REALLY wanted to know the details, you could get the information, just speak to the police department in your area, tell them you are concerned. Its a matter of public record unless a minor was involved, then a certain amount of information would be redacted from a report about it.

[Reverend1111]

Originally Posted by MontanaGuy

I see the thread I started about my neighbor has resurfaced again. I've never asked him about it and we continue to be friendly neighbors. Apparently most of the people in the neighborhood also know about his past because someone sent emails to everyone in the area before I moved here.
I don't have a wife or children to worry about but my neighbor has a family with grandchildren. I did find out that his current marriage is only about three years old and that his children are from a previous marriage. His conviction was in 1989 when he would have been about 39 years old. I've never been able to find out the circumstances of his conviction but I noticed that someone had posted some information about the laws in Tennessee and what the legal definitions are of aggravated rape in this state. I do realize it sounds very serious. My basic feeling is that I don't perceive him to be a threat to society although I do realize that people who are rapists can become very skilled at presenting an acceptable person in society and people are often shocked when certain rapists or murderers are finally apprehended. The Green River Killer lived just a short distance from my sister in Seattle and people who knew him just couldn't believe it. The same is true for Ted Bundy who as I've mentioned before, killed the stepsister of my supervisor when I lived in Seattle.
Anyway, I feel perfectly safe living next door to this guy and we talk quite often. I don't know what's going on in his mind but I don't sense any hostility whatsoever.

I'm glad things are working out for you. People change when they really want to. Sounds like he wanted to.
From my understanding, people are ready for change when they get tired of being something they aren't. When they realize it's from within that their cries for help will be answered, they become who they are meant to be. Be his friend and treat him as a child of God above all.

[NightBazaar]

Originally Posted by MontanaGuy

I see the thread I started about my neighbor has resurfaced again. I've never asked him about it and we continue to be friendly neighbors. Apparently most of the people in the neighborhood also know about his past because someone sent emails to everyone in the area before I moved here.

Just curious, but how do the other neighbors treat the guy? Do they avoid him? What did the other neighbors have to say about the emails? If they hold a suspicious and negative view about the guy, would they hold a similar view about you just for associating with him, regardless of what the circumstances were? Like it or not, when you live in a neighborhood, you still have to co-exist with the neighbors. The problem is that a lot of people who have families are more likely than not to be wary of someone who is a registered sex offender.

[NightBazaar]

Originally Posted by mb64282

Well the United States Government considers it a sexual crime if they are listed as sex offenders, that's pretty clear; the APA is not the law. I see what you are saying, rape isn't about the sex to the perpetrator, it's about the domination, but the law is not suppose to be on the side of the criminals, it's for the victims and law abiding citizens.

I agree with what you're saying, however, there needs to be a better system of classification. For example, I can recall a recent case of a guy who was over 18 (but still a teenager) that had consenting sex with an underage girl of around 15 or so. The guy ended up in court and was required to register as a sex offender. Although it was a very stupid thing for him to do, should he be classified and branded for life as a danger to society? Wouldn't probation be enough, depending on any history of previous crimes. As far as I know, he had a clean record and I don't think he was sentenced to serve time in prison.

The point is that there are cases that don't involve domination but are still charged as rape. Even though the law is the law, there are some instances of sentencing that seem somewhat unreasonable. However, I do agree that such crimes involving force, deception, especially child predators, should be treated much more harshly.

[MontanaGuy]

NightBazaar wrote:

Just curious, but how do the other neighbors treat the guy? Do they avoid him? What did the other neighbors have to say about the emails? If they hold a suspicious and negative view about the guy, would they hold a similar view about you just for associating with him, regardless of what the circumstances were? Like it or not, when you live in a neighborhood, you still have to co-exist with the neighbors. The problem is that a lot of people who have families are more likely than not to be wary of someone who is a registered sex offender.

From what I've seen the other neighbors treat him just fine and don't avoid him. You know what's really amazing is how many sex offenders there are. Just four blocks away on my street there's another one and the website indicated that he raped a minor. There are dozens of them just in my zip code and I've seen the same thing in other cities I've lived in. Tennessee doesn't appear to categorize them like Arizona does so it makes it more difficult to know if the police consider the person to be a serious threat. As I recall, Arizona's website lists them as low, medium or high risk to reoffend which is helpful information. As you might expect, the number of women offenders is miniscule and generally involves consenting sex with a minor so it really isn't even rape.

[Gplex]

Originally Posted by ZugZub

I'd talk to him about it, and see what he has to say. Depending how he reacts, you'll be able to get a good handle on whether or not he's actually changed. Then if you feel the same after talking about it with him, assure him that your friendship hasn't changed and don't mention it ever again.

Personally I couldn't remain friends with someone like that without having a conversation with them about it first to see what the deal was.

Wow, that's great advice...

[LI BraveOne]

First time poster and long time lurker. After a search I found this thread and instead of starting a new one, I'll add to here. Not trying to hijack but keep the topic concentrated.

My wife and I are in the process of buying a home. We are not in contract yet and the deal will be going into contract this week. We did not think about sex offenders prior to this but my wife happened to search the internet and stumble upon a similar situation to what is being discussed. The problem we are having is whether or not this should be a deal breaker on the home. We love the home but there is a sex offender within 10 houses of the house we are buying.

This is in New York and there are several websites out there to provide information. The man is in his 60's, is registered as a Level 3 offender. His crime:
[SIZE=-1]Sexual Abuse 2nd: Sexual Contact With Person Less Than 14 Years Old[/SIZE]
By NYS Law, the levels are as follows:
The court may assign one of the following three risk levels:

Level 1 (low risk of repeat offense), or
Level 2 (moderate risk of repeat offense), or
Level 3 (high risk of repeat offense and a threat to public safety exists).

(source: Sex Offender Registry - Risk Level Determination)

Our plan is to possibly speak to neighbors and contact the local police to determine what our protection is for something like this. We do not have any children yet, but have several nieces and nephews who will be over often. Being that a level 3 explains that he is likely to repeat and is a threat to public, makes us a little weary. What also boggles our mind is that not our real estate agent nor theirs mentioned any of this. We do understand that they are selling a house and want to make money but still isn't sitting well with us at the moment.

We are trying not to let emotions take over as we love the house but there is still that thought in the back of our mind. We want to think rationally about this. Although this person does not live next door, it's still a little close for comfort. One other thing to add, I work several overnights per week and my wife would be at home alone. The target does not seem to be adults nor women, but this may or may not be important. We are undecided on what to do at this point but are concerned if we should even worry about it or not.

[MontanaGuy]

LI BraveOne wrote:

We are trying not to let emotions take over as we love the house but there is still that thought in the back of our mind. We want to think rationally about this. Although this person does not live next door, it's still a little close for comfort. One other thing to add, I work several overnights per week and my wife would be at home alone. The target does not seem to be adults nor women, but this may or may not be important. We are undecided on what to do at this point but are concerned if we should even worry about it or not.

The fact that he's a level 3 would concern me in that situation but I see the guy is in his 60's so your wife could probably beat the crap out of him. Still, I would look into it a little further and see if you can find out how many convictions he has and how long ago it happened. When I lived in Phoenix I looked at the Arizona sex offender website and I also saw a guy who was in his 60's who lived in my neighborhood but not that close. It's surprising how many there are. Good luck and I hope it works out with the house.