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As you may or may not know, I have a friend that has homosexual attractions. He doesn't fit some type of "gay" description, doesn't go and throw himself out at every guy that approaches him, none of that. Most would probably mistake him for the average guy. He messed around with his cousin when he was a lot younger, but has not done anything since.
He's always wanted to get married and have children, nice car, nice house, etc. when he's older, but cannot fulfill his dream due to his homosexual attractions.
He's a Christian and believes in God with all of his heart. He's read the articles on the ex-gay ministry sites which claim to help homosexuals overcome their attraction. He's also read other sites that basically said "once a homosexual, always a homosexual." This does nothing for him, as he is more confused than before he began trying to figure out his attractions.
Anyway, the church constantly condemns homosexual acts. This is fine, except that he probably won't be attracted to women if he's attracted to his own sex (maybe it's possible, I really don't know). I really don't think it's fair to marry a woman if you can't "please" her.
He strongly believes in God, so what exactly does the church expect him to do with his attractions? Live a celibate lifestyle (HIGHLY doubt it, I mean who wants to go their entire life without having sex..human touch is good for the body and when you don't have it, you do crazy things...look at the Catholic priests). Marry a woman just to hide your sexuality? Accept it and act upon it even though it is a sin?... WHAT IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO?
EDIT: I am seeking help for my friend because he said he wants to know his options. Please don't assume I'm forcing my beliefs on him, because that is DEFINITELY not the case. We're both Christians, so I decided what the heck why not try City-Data ... He knows his business is out here, but it doesn't really matter because he could live in Africa for all you guys know.. so please try and remain on topic so we can find viable solutions to this situation
If there's a god/Jesus, and he's the one most Christians say he is...then he loves you no matter what. If your friend lies to himself and to a woman and gets married, he's doing a terrible disservice to himself and to her and to their future children. Your friend should accept himself for who he is, live as he was born to be, and find a church that accepts him.
As you may or may not know, I have a friend that has homosexual attractions. He doesn't fit some type of "gay" description, doesn't go and throw himself out at every guy that approaches him, none of that. Most would probably mistake him for the average guy. He messed around with his cousin when he was a lot younger, but has not done anything since.
He's always wanted to get married and have children, nice car, nice house, etc. when he's older, but cannot fulfill his dream due to his homosexual attractions.
He's a Christian and believes in God with all of his heart. He's read the articles on the ex-gay ministry sites which claim to help homosexuals overcome their attraction. He's also read other sites that basically said "once a homosexual, always a homosexual." This does nothing for him, as he is more confused than before he began trying to figure out his attractions.
Anyway, the church constantly condemns homosexual acts. This is fine, except that he probably won't be attracted to women if he's attracted to his own sex (maybe it's possible, I really don't know). I really don't think it's fair to marry a woman if you can't "please" her.
He strongly believes in God, so what exactly does the church expect him to do with his attractions? Live a celibate lifestyle (HIGHLY doubt it, I mean who wants to go their entire life without having sex..human touch is good for the body and when you don't have it, you do crazy things...look at the Catholic priests). Marry a woman just to hide your sexuality? Accept it and act upon it even though it is a sin?... WHAT IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO?
EDIT: I am seeking help for my friend because he said he wants to know his options. Please don't assume I'm forcing my beliefs on him, because that is DEFINITELY not the case. We're both Christians, so I decided what the heck why not try City-Data ... He knows his business is out here, but it doesn't really matter because he could live in Africa for all you guys know.. so please try and remain on topic so we can find viable solutions to this situation
You've started several posts about this very same "friend" in the past....
I'm starting to wonder....is this "friend" we're discussing actually you?
You say you're looking for viable solutions to the situation, but I gotta be honest and say you're really not going to find any if you're still asking this same question. People are going to give you some variation of the same answers you've received in the past.
The bottom line is....he (your "friend") is going to have to come to a place in his life where he simply accepts himself for who he is. He's going to have to reconcile himself to the fact that he most likely will never become straight and that he's going to have to be at peace in knowing that he's not going to have the wife, kids, etc...that he's always dreamed about having - unless, of course, he is content to live a lie for the rest of his life.
There are no solutions we can offer you about this.
Women are pretty easy to please....................
But your friend should do what he was created to do. Regardless of what the local "church" says, homosexuality is not a choice or a lifestyle and it cannot be "cured" only denied. And living a life in denial is a frustrating, depressing, futile life.
Be prepared to stand by him, be his friend. This does not mean become his lover, but despite his preferences, he is still a man and needs the kind of friend you have always been.......that is, unless you share those tendencies and are prepared to accept the consequences of a non-traditional life.
Good luck to you both........I pray you have a good life, regardless of how this turns out.
I'm starting to wonder....is this "friend" we're discussing actually you?
You say you're looking for viable solutions to the situation, but I gotta be honest and say you're really not going to find any if you're still asking this same question. People are going to give you some variation of the same answers you've received in the past.
The bottom line is....he (your "friend") is going to have to come to a place in his life where he simply accepts himself for who he is. He's going to have to reconcile himself to the fact that he most likely will never become straight and that he's going to have to be at peace in knowing that he's not going to have the wife, kids, etc...that he's always dreamed about having - unless, of course, he is content to live a lie for the rest of his life.
There are no solutions we can offer you about this.
God loves him.
I know it may seem that I'm talking about myself, but believe me when I say I'm doing this for my friend. We've been friends for a while, and I try my best to help him out in any way I can. I just wish I could relate to him more and understand what he's going through better.
The question I really want to ask that no one has an answer to is: WHY? Of all the things a person has to go through, why would God put this type of pain upon anyone? I see how he struggles... And I wish there was something I, or anyone, could do for him. No one should have to struggle like this. It's like a double whammy for him: if he comes out, church people will reject him, and thus he will have a limited amount of people who care enough for him to continue to further his relationship with God. If he doesn't come out and everything seems normal on the outside, but he's hiding who he really is on the inside, it's no better.
I know God loves him, but I also know he says he wants to live in accordance with God, which is why I asked what is he supposed to do.
He strongly believes in God, so what exactly does the church expect him to do with his attractions?
What does God’s word teach about sin?
First of all a thought isn’t necessarily sin. It is acting upon those thoughts that constitute sin. Consequently we are to strive to keep our focus (thoughts) on God so that our thoughts don’t lead us to sin.
Second; what if your friend’s sin was alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling, pornography or adultery. Would you embrace these sinful life styles or would you attempt to help him understand God's desires in an effort to help him turn away from these sins?
Second; what if your friend’s sin was alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling, pornography or adultery. Would you embrace these sinful life styles or would you attempt to help him understand God's desires in an effort to help him turn away from these sins?
Personally...I'd just tell him he's royally screwing himself up and be done with it.
There's no need to hide behind a word (that will only cause more confusion in the long run) when you can just tell someone he's running himself into an early grave.
God doesn't care one iota if someone is gay or straight. God loves your friend. Period. It's your friend who needs to overcome his doubts and insecurities. He is living in a world where people condemn for everything and that is not what God intended for us. He created us out of love for love and anything beyond that is not serving God.
Tell your friend to accept who he is and not what he is. He will then be able to make his own rational decisions regarding his sexual preference.
God created the soul twofold. This soul splits in half and each half is incarnated into a material body. The soul does not look to gender to incarnate, only if the fetus can support it. His soul is feminine and there is nothing he can change about that. He is a child of God as everone else is. If he denies this fact, he is harming his own soul.
First of all a thought isn’t necessarily sin. It is acting upon those thoughts that constitute sin. Consequently we are to strive to keep our focus (thoughts) on God so that our thoughts don’t lead us to sin.
Second; what if your friend’s sin was alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling, pornography or adultery. Would you embrace these sinful life styles or would you attempt to help him understand God's desires in an effort to help him turn away from these sins?
So you're basically arguing that if someone is gay, they should never be allowed to experience sex or any form of intimacy?
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... He knows his business is out here, but it doesn't really matter because he could live in Africa for all you guys know.. so please try and remain on topic so we can find viable solutions to this situation
