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If the important things, marriage-children, are discussed right away and there are definitely differences in opinions on those two topics, an Engagement shouldn't happen in the first place! I knew my wife for two weeks and ask her to marry me and she said "yes". But, we agreed to live-together for a year just to make sure we totally matched. And, one year later (to the day I asked her to marry me), we were married! We BOTH found out that we were BOTH "marriage minded"! A guy (or lady) doesn't have to "pop the question" to find out if the other person is "marriage minded", they can say "so, what are your feelings on marriage?". If the other person says "no way, never" and you ARE "marriage minded", the relationship stops there! Same question goes for having kids. Ask "what are your feelings........" and go from there! If both of these questions differ too much within the couple, why go on with the relationship or even talk about living-together??
Add to that the fact that if you are in an abusive relationship, they don't recommend that you hang around expecting the person to "change". They are NOT going to--because their character is already formulated in their formative years. A person doesn't ever really change--that is where the old saw of "Know thyself" comes into play.
If you THINK you've changed, it is something that's always been part of your true character, your character has not changed at all, once it has been formed. And that happens at a very young age.
I'll let the other replies to your nonsense answer for me.
If the important things, marriage-children, are discussed right away and there are definitely differences in opinions on those two topics, an Engagement shouldn't happen in the first place! I knew my wife for two weeks and ask her to marry me and she said "yes". But, we agreed to live-together for a year just to make sure we totally matched. And, one year later (to the day I asked her to marry me), we were married! We BOTH found out that we were BOTH "marriage minded"! A guy (or lady) doesn't have to "pop the question" to find out if the other person is "marriage minded", they can say "so, what are your feelings on marriage?". If the other person says "no way, never" and you ARE "marriage minded", the relationship stops there! Same question goes for having kids. Ask "what are your feelings........" and go from there! If both of these questions differ too much within the couple, why go on with the relationship or even talk about living-together??
Because people may find the relationship worth reevaluation prior positions. I was a "no kids" guy, until she pointed out that if I was to be with her, kids were part of the deal. I reevaluated what our relationship was worth, and decided that whatever kids brought, it would be worth it.
It is interesting that you should say this. I guess then what Stalin/Lenin (not sure which one) suggested in "educating" them young holds credence.
I guess that also means that stuff like sunday school is no different to the indoctrination of the communist method? After all it all happens when they are young and their thought processes can be "channeled".
After all you theists speak of "doctrine" hence the word derivative of indoctrination stands to reason that all this theist nonsense is induced rather than being a reality.
Oh BTW, this would hold true for islam too.
I don't agree with the suggestion, people cannot change. I used to be xian but now no longer am. That constitutes change. So I went from unbeliever to believer then back to unbeliever. But in your wurlde, I guess I was only a true UNbeliever(tm)?
Or maybe I just got caught up in all the BS for 30 years before the logical side of me finally restarted
You apparently had doubts--just as I always had doubts about the need to "worship" our government, and nation.
Are you saying that only thing a relationship needs, between anyone, anywhere, anytime, is a couple of months and the "right" questions?
Mmmmm Yeah. I think I'm gonna have to go ahead and disagree with you on that.
I recommend a two-year minimum engagement. Minimum. That gives enough time for the honeymoon to wear off, and for most pretenses to be dropped/discovered. After all, if you can't get along when you're both crabby, tired, and broke for a month, how are you going to make it the rest of lives?
And two years doesn't even give much for that. Me and my wife knew each other for eight before getting engaged, and then had a two-year engagement. *That* was enough time to work out everything we needed to to give our marriage a strong foundation.
And then you run into someone like me, who knew the night I met him that he was the one I would marry. We married six weeks later and were a few months shy of 29 years together when I lost him to cancer. As with all marriages, we had our ups and downs, but I can honestly say there never came a time when I regretted marrying him. And he said as much to me two days before he died.
Massachusetts has the lowest divorce rate in the country. And it's gotten even lower since gays were able to marry. Maybe there is a connection?
oh puhleez---gay couples married or not have the same breakup rate as married---maybe even higher since most live together cause of inability to get married!
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