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Old 09-28-2009, 09:55 AM
 
17 posts, read 39,565 times
Reputation: 17
Default How to deal with fanatical family members

My brother and sister in law (SIL) are extremely religious. While I respect their beliefs, I do not share their fanaticism. I am a Christian and spent 4 years of college studying Philosophy and Religion. A while ago my SIL friended me and my husband on facebook and we accepted knowing that there would be a barage of quoted scripture coming our way, however, we assumed that she would be prepared to support her doctrine if we commented. The other day she posted a link from an Oprah show where Oprah asked a woman in the audience if she believed that a person who lived on a remote island, who had lived a good and honest life, but had never heard or read the Bible not find salvation. This link was accompanied with some comment about Oprah not being a Christian. My husband responded by stating that Oprah had done many things for many ppl and how could one determine from this video clip that she was not a Christian? Well, this started a huge discussion with the SIL's mother. After a day or so of this going back in forth, the SIL's mother had the nerve to ask my husband what "path" he was on. Well, that got me started. I then explained that the King James version of the Bible did not desend directly from God's hand in the heavens to ours and suffered thru many translations of man. Man, made in the "likeness" of God, but nevertheless fallible b/c to be perfect would make us equal to God. I continued by stating that because of this, "I" could never be so arrogant as to think that my way is the only way to salvation. Please note this is a condensed version of what transpired, but the response blew me away. The SIL's mother told me that my degree OBVIOUSLY taught me to defend man's continual effort to discredit the Bible and the SIL said she couldn't believe that I would "stoop so low as to call her mother arrogant". Then, before I could respond, the SIL put an end to the conversation and allowed no further posts. I was totally offended, my education was attacked and my pronoun was totally overlooked. The SIL even threatened to shut down her FB acct b/c "she only used it to communicate with family". Guess I'm no longer considered "family". Is such passive aggressive behavior common with these ppl? How frustrating. To make matters worse, my brother was watching all of this unfold and his total silence on the matter has now caused me to remove both of them from my Facebook. I feel if you're going to post such controversial items you should be prepared to defend or at least hear the other side. By not agreeing to her viewpoint we've been cast out as heretics.
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Old 09-28-2009, 10:04 AM
 
Location: Valencia, Spain
7,884 posts, read 4,459,472 times
Reputation: 1507
Sorry! But I'd have to say that you are well shot of them.
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Old 09-28-2009, 10:08 AM
 
Location: where the moss is taking over the villages
2,161 posts, read 3,076,431 times
Reputation: 1164
Wow. That's worse than continually getting religious forwards from people who can't even write a note in the forward to make it worth opening...

Sorry to hear you had such a nasty encounter. I think you took the high road for sure.

I've lost friendship from people whose religious forwards I've deliberately refused... even a half sister. I don't take the excuse that a person doesn't have time to write when they have time obviously to peruse such numerous forwards & then forward them further.

I admire your courage in addressing your conflict head on in such an intelligent manner. Obviously your educational advantage left your correspondents in an embarrassed tiff... O well. Maybe life will actually become easier because of it.

I hate it when we're supposed to play dumb for the dumb...

Kate
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Old 09-28-2009, 10:19 AM
 
6,040 posts, read 5,713,828 times
Reputation: 3818
I dealt with my fanatic family in the only way that finally worked -- I cut off communication with them. They're aware of the parameters I require in order for them to communicate with me again, and they refuse to meet them. So...good riddance.
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Old 09-28-2009, 10:21 AM
 
2,893 posts, read 3,429,219 times
Reputation: 1919
Sounds like the problem has solved itself.
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Old 09-28-2009, 10:24 AM
 
17 posts, read 39,565 times
Reputation: 17
Default How to deal with Religious fanatic

Quote:
Originally Posted by scarmig View Post
Sounds like the problem has solved itself.

Possibly, but I will miss my brother.
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Old 09-28-2009, 10:31 AM
 
Location: Indianapolis
4,325 posts, read 3,223,569 times
Reputation: 640
We are brothers and sisters to the whole world. Just because you share the same blood with your immediate family does not mean that you always have to agree with them or be surrounded by them.
In my own life, I don't communicate with my family (not for religious reasons). It's not that I don't love them because I do. I have a different lifestyle then they do so I keep my distance and only see them maybe once a year, some at longer durations. I have friends who I call mom and dad or brother and sister. I love them as much as i love my own family.

If they are so adamant that you follow or adhere to the same beliefs then they are unaccepting of you as a child of God with the ability to make your own decisions regarding your beliefs.

Do what feels right to you and live your life accordingly. They can't get you to heaven.
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Old 09-28-2009, 10:38 AM
 
2,893 posts, read 3,429,219 times
Reputation: 1919
Quote:
Originally Posted by Morgansmom00 View Post
Possibly, but I will miss my brother.
His only crime was staying out of it?
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Old 09-28-2009, 10:49 AM
 
17 posts, read 39,565 times
Reputation: 17
Default How to deal with Religious fanatic

Quote:
Originally Posted by scarmig View Post
His only crime was staying out of it?
Well, as I said, this is the condensed version. I do understand his position of not wanting to cause waves and he is a very non confrontational kind of person, however, I'm surprised that he allowed the insult to my education as he attended Wheaton college.
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Old 09-28-2009, 10:51 AM
 
87 posts, read 150,272 times
Reputation: 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mercury Cougar View Post
I dealt with my fanatic family in the only way that finally worked -- I cut off communication with them. They're aware of the parameters I require in order for them to communicate with me again, and they refuse to meet them. So...good riddance.

Exactly. My family has made the decision that there relationship with god is more important than there relationship with me. Selfish, childish and cruel to say the least. Not to mention the fact that these are 'adults' who have am imaginary friend, yet have the audacity to say I am the one with the problem. Good riddance is right.
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