Things I do NOT want to hear from a prospective tenant

[henry1]

Originally Posted by BiggJoe4181

I think i speak for everyone reading this when i say.....


WHAT?

The girl i was seeing thinking it was me instead of my landlord because i had give her my keys to my place to get in and fixed dinner and she had taken a shower and was drying off when he showed up..

She thought it was me who was knocking on the door at that hour of the morning ..

My landlord goes i'm for the rent and she goes and get the wrong money order i had on the fridge door ..She give him my electric bill money order instead of the rent money order ..

So when i saw him a few days later he give me back the electric money order and i give him the rent money order ..he goes tell her thank you for wakeing me up that morning .

[davecj]

Oh where to begin. Also why I don't deal with Craigslist anymore. These are from a couple years ago.

The first is regarding a prospective tenant that paid half of the upfront security deposit and my dealings in getting the rest, reposted from another board:

I called and emailed her Wednesday, stating that the security deposit was due by Friday, Jan 16 by 7pm. If not then the contract would be voided and I would return her deposit.

I finally get a call from her Thursday saying she's really sorry, this weeks been crazy for her but that I would have cash in hand on Friday no problem.

Friday I'm at my house, phone in hand. 7pm rolls by. 7:30 rolls by. I call at 7:45 and 8:15 with no response. Figure screw it and leave to drink some beers.

Come back home around 2am this morning and check the mailbox. Nothing in there.

I email her this morning stating that due to her not fulfilling her contractual obligations, the contract is now canceled and I will return her deposit at my convenience.

I get a phone call around noon. To her credit she was much more civil than I was gearing up for. She said she doesn't know why I'd cancel the contract when she told me she is coming by TODAY at 7pm.

I tell her today is SATURDAY, she was supposed to come FRIDAY like she said in the phone call.

The conversation goes, and I quote-

"What are you talking about? I told you on Thursday I was coming tomorrow after work with the money."
"Yes, that meant Friday."
"No I said on Thursday I would be coming tomorrow. That's Sat... Oh wait ****."
Said thanks but no thanks it'd be best if we go our separate ways on this deal.

And of more recently, a nice young female that answered an ad of mine. I make it a point to social network search all prospective tenants and this is why:

I put a craigslist ad up trying to rent out my basement room in Baltimore. I'm not in any dire need for the extra money so I've been screening as best as I can. Couple hits here and there, mainly women in the 40s for some reason.

I get an email today and it has her full name in the address. Facebook yielded nada. Myspace yielded her bio:

They call me "Coota"(i had it coming)....i have little to no direction right now.....i go through jobs like i go through toilet paper.......please don't ask me to watch my mouth in the prescence of small children.......if there is a heaven it probably consists of roasting marshmallows and makin s'mores the whole day.......my biggest fear is workin a 9-5 job in an office.....i rely on the good will of others to help me in a jam....i owe some people a lot of $ but every time i seem to get my hands on some i spend it on plane tickets (someday i'll pay you people back).....i'm originally from long island and it is the people from here that i like the least....i fight with my 6 yr old nephew about who gets to ride his wave board first......I love the outdoors and thinking i can hang with the best tree-huggers NH has to offer..............i love barbecuing with friends(the fun ones, not the ones you wonder why u still hang out with them)...........the times i only really enjoy havin a drink (blacking out) is at Hannuka/New Years Eve extravaganza in Gill MA with the Callary's........... thinking i can snowboard but i hear them snickering from the lift.........i love volunteer work (can't say i've done some in a while though)....kids are the greatest as long as they go back with their parents after i start to get sick of them.......i have my heart set on so many sites right now that it's difficult to come to a decision on just one (too many options will kill a man).....i'm really fascinated with bellybuttons......i have a really bad habit of smelling everything.......i mostly just jump right into everything with my eyes closed shut, hope for the best and "hopefully" things will just fall into place.....i don't care what anyone says, farting will be God's funniest joke.......oh! and if you talk to me once as far as i'm concerned we are friends for life so......(call me, we'll talk, no big whoop!) VAya Con DiOs*******

I literally feared she would steal a hot water heater from me.

There was also the most recent applicant that I had to deny. Between his 470 credit and multiple 90 day past dues and 30k in credit card debt and her very good credit but quarter million dollars in student loans (to become a speech pathologist...) that was just about to mature, the lashing I received on his Facebook page was almost comical.