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I would talk to them in person first. Be civil, polite, and understanding...but also firm. If they start arguing or trying to bait you, just walk away and deal with them via the apartment's management.
Personally I hate it when neighbors resort to sneaking around behind my back anonymously instead of first bringing a concern to ME.
They really may not know how loud their footsteps are. Sometimes the construction of the building is not that great, and the footsteps will be a lot louder in that building than they would in a more solidly built apartment building. (Think about it, when you are in an office building, you never hear people above walking.) Anyhow, they may not have had the problem in their last apartment and may not realize it's a problem in the current apartment.
There's only two ways you can really keep from having the problem. #1, buy a house. #2, live on the top floor of any building you rent in. Those aren't always practical options. I used to have an upstairs neighbor who dribbled a basketball all day and all night. It was terrible, but we couldn't get them to stop. I had another neighbor who got mad at us when I quit babysitting for them and he used to hit his floors (our ceiling) with a hammer all night, to the point that it felt gritty to walk on his carpet. I guess my point is, it can always get worse, so be sensitive and polite in how you address the situation with your neighbor.
what happens if you go upstairs, introduce yourself, smile and tell them that you know little ones have tons of energy but sometimes the running disturbs your sleep, rest or something to that effect?
The best way to create the problems that we are trying so desperately to avoid, is to avoid addressing the issue with the party at hand. I'd also hate if someone went to management without talking to me first! Now, if you've done that, with a smile and they have a problem with that, game on
no, seriously, then go to management
Also, if you're that nervous that your very non-confrontational approach may cause problems(and do you know something about them that would cause you to feel that way?) I would buy a pack of balloons, or two 50 cent bottles of the bubbles you can buy at any dollar store or something to give to the parent of the children just to let them know you come in peace. Actually I might do that regardless. Some people are hard-wired and plain crazy and nothing you do will bring peace but many times our gestures of consideration will go further than we think! even though we have done nothing wrong, our doing right can make a difference ;-)
Last edited by Tell-the-Truth; 07-23-2012 at 03:57 PM..
The only things I've read in this thread that violates "quiet enjoyment" is the blaring music. Walking and dropping things don't. Complaining to the manager about how someone walks, when someone walks and how they "drop things" is just petty. Do you complain when they flush the toilet? I'm sure you can it hear it flush if you can hear them walk.
You live in an apartment; you're going to hear noise, especially if your building is a woodframe building or lacks insulation. You are going to have live with the walking noise and the dropping things. These things are out of your control and your managers control and trying to fight with someone about it is just stupid and petty.
The only things I've read in this thread that violates "quiet enjoyment" is the blaring music. Walking and dropping things don't. Complaining to the manager about how someone walks, when someone walks and how they "drop things" is just petty. Do you complain when they flush the toilet? I'm sure you can it hear it flush if you can hear them walk.
You live in an apartment; you're going to hear noise, especially if your building is a woodframe building or lacks insulation. You are going to have live with the walking noise and the dropping things. These things are out of your control and your managers control and trying to fight with someone about it is just stupid and petty.
Petty? How about you don't live where I live and couldn't possibly know what I put up with? I have respect for the people that live in the same building, but where's their respect? For my example previously, it was the last straw. My head was throbbing from the noise.
And yes, most people can't help how they walk. They can't help that they drop things. But when you're stomping everywhere you go, you COULD just walk. You COULD not buff your hardwood floors at midnight. You COULD be aware that your 16 yr. old son is home alone and up all night, blaring his music. I know the neighbors on the side of me can't help that their baby cries from the time he wakes up till and through the night. No one can control the pipes and the fact that when someone takes a shower in any of the other apts., that I can hear it. I do expect ALL of that living in an apt.
My point is that, for the things you can control, try to be mindful. I've not ever complained before and one of the issues I had with going up, introducing myself and asking them politely to stop whatever they're doing is problematic.
I don't know the disposition of my neighbors. I don't know them personally and the very few times I've seen the dad in the parking lot, he doesn't smile or acknowledge my "hi". I live in an OK area but there are a LOT of different kinds of people here. Just last year, SWAT got a guy in the building next to me. I don't really want to know the details. And that's why I mind my own business.
What we do have is a really great management team. I can tell they take their job seriously and really want their tenants to be happy and comfortable. I expressed many times that I didn't want to make enemies but I really didn't want to approach them myself. And yea, for the comment about how it would cheese you off if someone went around you to complain about you: it really depends on who you are, how you present yourself, where you live etc. Too many variables and I take it case by case. This being the FIRST case, this was best for me.
Sorry you all disagree, but Kate will have to determine what's the best move for her given her particular circumstances. Additionally, as my apt. had in place, there may be a noise policy and a friendly reminder that not everyone has the same lifestyle and to be respectful of that.
After the newest (and loudest yet) neighbors moved in about 3-4 months ago, I had finally had enough. I've NEVER complained about my neighbors...even though I surely wanted to...but this new family was so freaking loud. They stomp EVERYWHERE they go, drop things that seem really heavy, blare their music. It got worse when school let out in May.
.
Is this the example you spoke of? Well, again, the only thing in this example that is a violation of the "quiet enjoyment" clause is the blaring music. That's it. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Call the office whenever you hear the music blaring and if it happens past 11pm, call the police.
I'd talk to them directly first. Be polite but direct. The crappy thing is a lot of people are just jerks and some people will be louder on purpose just to further annoy you.
I would recommend ignoring the obnoxious remarks of Kim in Fl who obviously has been on the receiving end of noise complaints. She stated in a previous thread that she does not give a damn about her downstairs neighbors and considers it perfectly ok to rearrange her living room furniture at 2AM.
I will agree with her that SOME noise is inevitable when you have an upstairs neighbor but there definitely is a limit and it is not OK to jump up and down, stomp or run from one end of the apartment to the other late at night when most people are sleeping. Believe it or not Kim in Fl but when you live in a multiunit building you DO have a contractual and moral responsibility to not disturb the neighbors with excessive noise and despite what some will say, it is quite easy to walk quietly and otherwise keep the noise level down. Kids will be kids and that is why there is this thing called "parental supervision". Teaching kids to be civilized and courteous of others (aka "manners") is sadly beyond the intellect of many so called parents.
I once managed and lived in a building that was well constructed with extra thick carpet and pads underneath. Most tenants never complained, but when they did 9 times out 10 the complaint was legitimate. I know because I would go to the apartment and listen myself. I've heard stomping and banging so loud that the glass in the windows rattled and a picture fell off the wall.
People will say "if you want peace and quiet then live in a house, not an apartment" How about saying "if you want to make a lot of noise late at night then live in a house not an apartment"??
I would recommend ignoring the obnoxious remarks of Kim in Fl who obviously has been on the receiving end of noise complaints. She stated in a previous thread that she does not give a damn about her downstairs neighbors and considers it perfectly ok to rearrange her living room furniture at 2AM.
I will agree with her that SOME noise is inevitable when you have an upstairs neighbor but there definitely is a limit and it is not OK to jump up and down, stomp or run from one end of the apartment to the other late at night when most people are sleeping. Believe it or not Kim in Fl but when you live in a multiunit building you DO have a contractual and moral responsibility to not disturb the neighbors with excessive noise and despite what some will say, it is quite easy to walk quietly and otherwise keep the noise level down. Kids will be kids and that is why there is this thing called "parental supervision". Teaching kids to be civilized and courteous of others (aka "manners") is sadly beyond the intellect of many so called parents.
I once managed and lived in a building that was well constructed with extra thick carpet and pads underneath. Most tenants never complained, but when they did 9 times out 10 the complaint was legitimate. I know because I would go to the apartment and listen myself. I've heard stomping and banging so loud that the glass in the windows rattled and a picture fell off the wall.
People will say "if you want peace and quiet then live in a house, not an apartment" How about saying "if you want to make a lot of noise late at night then live in a house not an apartment"??
Wrong, Southking!!! Never had a noise complaint about me. EVER. And you're right..I don't walk on eggshells around my home and I won't..I shouldn't have to...I pay rent to live here and have a right to walk in my home, when I want, how I want and how much I want. And someone below me doesn't like it, they can move. I am up at 0400 everyday..I'd love for someone to tell me I can't get up that early and walk thru my house or leave my house to take my dog for his morning walk.
No, I don't have a contractual or moral obligation in regards to noise..I've read my lease. It clearly states what is considered excessive noise and walking, dropping things, peeing, showering, flushing your toilet aren't on the list.
And you really think living in a single family home solves all the noise problems? Ha! It's doesn't. You're still going to hear the blaring music, the loud cars and motorcycles and the fighting couples...unless you live out in the middle of nowhere, you're always going to have noise issues with neighbors.
I would recommend ignoring the obnoxious remarks of Kim in Fl who obviously has been on the receiving end of noise complaints. She stated in a previous thread that she does not give a damn about her downstairs neighbors and considers it perfectly ok to rearrange her living room furniture at 2AM.
I will agree with her that SOME noise is inevitable when you have an upstairs neighbor but there definitely is a limit and it is not OK to jump up and down, stomp or run from one end of the apartment to the other late at night when most people are sleeping. Believe it or not Kim in Fl but when you live in a multiunit building you DO have a contractual and moral responsibility to not disturb the neighbors with excessive noise and despite what some will say, it is quite easy to walk quietly and otherwise keep the noise level down. Kids will be kids and that is why there is this thing called "parental supervision". Teaching kids to be civilized and courteous of others (aka "manners") is sadly beyond the intellect of many so called parents.
I once managed and lived in a building that was well constructed with extra thick carpet and pads underneath. Most tenants never complained, but when they did 9 times out 10 the complaint was legitimate. I know because I would go to the apartment and listen myself. I've heard stomping and banging so loud that the glass in the windows rattled and a picture fell off the wall.
People will say "if you want peace and quiet then live in a house, not an apartment" How about saying "if you want to make a lot of noise late at night then live in a house not an apartment"??
Darnit, I can only rep you ONCE!! You nailed it exactly...and I'm glad you did because I don't think ol' Kim has a clue...respect goes a very long way in communal living. I'm not asking the impossible and I'm not expecting pure quiet. To say I should just up and move is inconsiderate thinking. We all have our individual circumstances that put us in the place where we are - I would doubt someone would want to live in a loud, chaotic place but for some (me) that's the only choice I have at this time. It's not up to others to discern anything else. Most of the pictures on my wall need frequent adjusting from all the activity. It seems she could have benefitted from some of that courtesy to others, but maybe it comes from the "I can do whatever and whenever and all else be damned". IDK.
And yes, I do have a problem when parents leave their children unattended. THAT's why I can't go to the only pool at the complex because I have to struggle too much with all the children. I can hope that my neighbors will be considerate and actually, I've noticed improvement. It's certainly not perfect but I can live with respectful neighbors. I probably couldn't live with someone like Kim in FL if she's moving furniture at all hours of the night - people like that, I've noticed, just don't care that much about others.
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what happens if you go upstairs, introduce yourself, smile and tell them that you know little ones have tons of energy but sometimes the running disturbs your sleep, rest or something to that effect?
and they have a problem with that, game on
