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Not sure if this is the right place to ask this, but I am at an absolute loss. We moved to a new state at the beginning of February and are renting because we weren't sure where we'd want to buy. Having 3 kids, and not wanting to move again soon after, we signed a 2.5 year lease. Well, the people on this street avoid us like the plague, and the only thing I can come up with is, it's because we're renters. Having not rented anything since an apartment when we were 20, this is new to us.
Example 1: Our neighbors mail got put in our box, so I walked over to give it to them. I was figuring that it would be a good opportunity to introduce myself, since the weather is nicer and I haven't seen them really at all. The husband opened his storm door just enough to take the mail, thanked me and shut the door in my face!
Example 2: Shortly after moving in, I saw the woman across the street putting something in all the mailboxes on the street...except ours. Who knows what it was, but she skipped right over us.
Example 3: Organized block party this past weekend at one house. People coming from all over with covered dishes, beer, etc. I was coming home and as I turned the corner and saw the commotion, I waved to a group of people that contained 2 male residents that I recognized. They did not wave back. I went into my house and cried.
Is it the stigma of being renters? We keep the outside of this house tidy and maintained. We don't drive old beaters or loud obnoxious cars. We are well groomed, normal, middle class people, no better or worse than anyone else in this working class neighborhood. I just don't get it.
The days of the "Welcome Wagon" are in the past in most of the US although pockets do still exist. It'll pass and has nothing to do with your being "renters" as opposed to "owners". You've moved into a microcommunity and it takes time for them to smell you out and accept you. Continue being quietly friendly with your greetings, go about your business and don't take it too personally. The clique will eventually warm to you.
Did you just move to North Carolina? Where are you from?
I have noticed that a lot of southerners are not very welcoming of outsiders. They may be nice to your face at the store, or whatever. But sometimes it can be hard to break into their circle.
I don't think it has anything to do with you being a renter.
Also, sometimes people act like that when THEY have something to hide, not you. I am not a huge fan of becoming too close to some neighbors. Sometimes you find out things you wish you never did.
If the neighborhood has experienced problems with previous renters, they might be cautious. I had a next door neighbor tell me her parents just assumed anyone living in my triplex was up to no good, because there was a long string of sketchy renters. Now they're friendly, but it took a while to prove that I'm as miserable with the shenanigans as they are.
Renters can have high turnover even with leases. Prove your family's stability by sticking around. Just relax. You'll get to know people.
It might be your accent. We generally think NYers are rude and obnoxious until proved otherwise. Sorry, but it's the truth. There's a thread in Non-Romantic Relationships about co-workers thinking a NYer is a d-bag.
I've lived in a lot of places and the "not being welcoming to outsiders" attitude seems to be true almost everywhere.
As far as attitude toward renters, I've known some people who don't like them. A friend of mine was talking to me about her house and neighborhood and how it changed after the bubble burst. She said it used to be a nice place but "now there are transients everywhere." I thought she was talking about homeless people, but it turned out she was talking about renters! I'd never heard anyone refer to renters as "transients" before.
It might be your accent. We generally think NYers are rude and obnoxious until proved otherwise. Sorry, but it's the truth. There's a thread in Non-Romantic Relationships about co-workers thinking a NYer is a d-bag.
That's the point I was making. Thanks!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk (please forgive typos)
DH and I just moved from North Carolina (we lived there 4+ years), and although I think a lot may have to do with the community you reside in, I'm inclined to think that the South just isn't that friendly anymore.
I lived in 3 different communities in NC and never really knew any of my neighbors in spite of making attempts to be friendly. I always blamed it on the region, but perhaps it's not uncommon throughout the state as a whole? It's odd though- NC is filled with transplants so you'd think they'd be more accepting of it by now!
I don't think it has anything to do with you being renters... I just think your neighbors are lousy!!!
Depending on the demographic of your neighborhood too- it's possible that they may have seen something which put them off for some snobbish reason (it's been known to happen). Don't let them get you down too much! I know it isn't nice not being part of a warm, welcoming community- but it isn't the end of the world, and thankfully, it's only temporary!
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